


Forbidden Delights

by Mysticmcknight



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-06-21
Updated: 2002-06-21
Packaged: 2017-11-10 23:52:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 59,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/472108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticmcknight/pseuds/Mysticmcknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once more an old tactic is used here; I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway: StarFleet is against same sex relationships, no exceptions. For Chakotay that has never been a problem until his latest side adventure where he is introduced to the forbidden delights of same sex…sex; now he has a big problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forbidden Delights

The damn Delta had struck again as four members of Voyager were being dragged, chained to long poles over their shoulders, like beasts of burden, in the large decorated chamber, the local aliens looking on as if this was typical for them. The large white marble chamber, vastly decorated in gold, silver and other rich colors didn’t do anything to elevated the tension the crew was feeling being that they were here against their will, Tom Paris being one of them, and he had been dragged quicker than the rest and to the front ahead of the others, Donna Henley, Harry Kim, and Chakotay as they were led in. Chakotay was to the back helping Harry who had been injured in the conflict with the pirates that attacked their shuttle, only to capture them and in a matter of hours, sell them to these people, whoever these people were was unknown. 

The aliens surrounding them appeared human except for their flecks of silver or gold or white that light bounced off their skin revealing was present otherwise would have gone unnoticed. Chakotay helped Harry kneel since his leg was in need of medical care and no one seemed to care. He also looked around, since he too was on his knees, thus no one cared if he did so, and saw Tom was far forward, the overseer of their keepers speaking to a man and a woman that quiet easily looked like royalty, high upon their royal perches. 

“I think this one may be of pleasing to you, High Lord, High Lady,” the tall, silver glittering male stated, forcing Tom’s face up, so they could get a good look. 

“He appears…nice,” the woman said, her face neutral, as the sun bounced off her pale skin that glittered like ice. “What do you think my chosen?” 

“The same,” the man replied, his skin the same color. “But it will be up to the first son,” he added, looking behind him over his right shoulder to a tall well built man, that now stepped from the shadows. He was dressed in a long black tunic that reached his strong pale thighs that had matching pants and soft black boots. His long auburn hair was flowing gently in the breeze that filled the chamber, his bright green eyes looking down below, giving no sign of any reaction to the man on his knees. 

“Do you think him worthy of being your neapa?” the woman asked him. 

“He looks capable of warming your bed…somewhat,” the man added. 

“NO!” a voice shouted among those below, startling the discussion between the three. 

Chakotay had been listening and when he heard what they wanted to do, to force Tom into a…situation where he would have to have sex…with a man…he had to speak, for he would never allow one of his crew to be used, much less…that way. He pushed himself up and moved faster than the guards assumed he could with that heavy bar still chained to his shoulders, but move he did, right in front of Tom Pairs, looking as defiant as he could. “I will not let you degrade any member of my crew,” he growled, determined to fight them all if he had too. 

The guards were now moving toward him when an equally strong voice called out, “No, let him speak.” 

The guards saw it was the First Son, and with a nod, moved back, but not far, for it was clear these people were not so domicile as they had assumed and would not make that mistake again. 

“Who are you?” the First Son asked, his green eyes fixed on the strong bronze warrior that stood so bravely in front of the blond on his knees, fire blazing in deep dark eyes. 

“I am Commander Chakotay of the Starship Voyager. My crew and I were on an away mission when pirates attacked our shuttle and subsequently, we were…sold…to you. My Captain will come to look for us and I am sure she would be most appreciative if you would let us go,” he stated as tactfully as possibly.

“Perhaps we should send the lot to the mines,” the older man on the thrown like chair grumbled. 

“Father, please,” the young man hissed in an equally low tone so not to humiliate anyone. “If you want me to choose someone…I will, but,” he said, his keen intellect sparkling in his deep bright green eyes, “Allow me to handle this, if you please.”

The woman perked up, “one pleases you?” 

“Yes, Mother…one does,” he said, his eyes flicking back to the crowd below, his eyes falling on the proud warrior. 

The woman followed her son’s gaze and gave a tiny groan, “Oh, son, that one…that one will break your heart,” she whispered. Then she saw the look her son was now giving her and sighed, “Very well, he…”

“All of them, Mother,” he corrected. 

She huffed, “All of them are in your care,” she said a bit louder for the council members around to hear. 

The First Son bowed, “thank you, Mother,” he smiled, and then as he turned, the smile was gone, his eyes strong as he met the flaming amber of the Commander’s eyes below. He slowly descended the stairs and came to stand five feet away from him. “Take the others to a holding cell, they are to be unchained, and all their needs met,” he ordered. “This one,” he said looking at the Commander, “Is to come with me, it appears…we need to talk about this…misunderstanding,” he finished. Then when he saw his orders were being carried out, he started to move off, letting the guards bring the strong warrior. 

He entered a hall an into a side room and waited. Once he saw the guards enter with Chakotay still chained, he spoke, “Release him and have the servant bring us food and drink, and then you may leave,” then moved to part the white curtains over the window and opened it to give the room fresh air; where his real motive was to see the sun shine off that beautiful bronze skin. 

“Thank you,” Chakotay said, rubbing his wrists, free from the chains, as the guards left closing the door behind them. 

“Oh, don’t thank me yet, Commander,” he said, looking at the strange man via the reflection in the window. “We still have to discuss your situation,” he said, moving away from the window and gestured to a comfortable chair in front of the one he now sat down in. “Please,” he gestured. 

Chakotay moved cautiously to the chair and sat, “May I ask, just what ‘is’ our situation?” he asked, trying to keep his tone even and respectful. He saw the tall young man, perhaps five years his junior, smile, and it gave him hope. 

“First, my name is Erron. I am the First Son of Mayson and Laterialla of Kareterizel, the kingdom in which you now find yourself in. My…people are sticklers to the old ways, though…I hope when my time comes, I will be able to bring change; though it will be my wife that will rule as does my mother now,” he stated evenly and with personal pride and love. “One of those traditions is the securing the services of a neapa, and I think you have already figured out just what service they provide; their purpose is to help…” he grinned, as a slight blush crossed his glittering pale face, “The male to curb his…appetite so his wife has no worries of their fidelity with other women,” he added as graciously as he could. 

“You’re married?” It was the first question Chakotay found himself asking in response to what he had been told, even if it wasn’t his best. He found it difficult that a wife would allow such…behavior. 

Erron chuckled, “No, not yet, but soon,” he replied, and then he got more serious. “My parents don’t care who you are or where you come from…but I do,” he said, seeing Chakotay about to interject. “I have secured your…crew, to be under my care and there they will remain, so long as my Parents do not decide otherwise,” he stated, hoping this man before him was as intelligent as he appeared. 

“And they won’t decide to if…?” Chakotay’s eyes narrowed, for he didn’t like the sounds of this discussion. 

“If…they believe they are getting their purchase worth,” he stated evenly. 

Chakotay’s back straitened, “I will not allow Lieutenant Paris to be subjugated to…”

“Whoa...whoa,” he smiled, taken with this man’s sense of protectiveness to his crew. “Lieutenant Paris…the light haired fellow I take it,” he continued when he saw Chakotay nod, “Is ‘not’ a concern here nor is he the one I wish to discuss, nor is any of the ones not here,” he added, so Chakotay could get the full picture and hopefully calm down. 

Chakotay settled his posture knowing that none of the rest of his crew was going to be forced to comply to anything, but the fact that it left only him was not lost either. “You want…me…”

Erron held up his hand, hoping to stall any blockade to this matter before it began. “Hear me out first before you make your decision,” he stated, seeing clear the type of man he was dealing with. Though outward he appeared calm, Erron was reeling inside from the display of fire and inner strength this bronze beauty was displaying. “You said your Captain will come for you, right?” 

“Yes.”

“But you don’t know how long before they find you here, also correct?”

Chakotay simply nodded yes. 

“Well, then here is what I propose,” Erron stated, standing up, seeing the food and drink arrive. He waited till the servant’s served Chakotay and had his placed on a table by his chair, and then watched them leave. He picked up his drink and moved to the window, needing some distance to brace his failing nerves so he could ensnare the man he found he so strongly desired. “As I said, here is what I propose,” he stated again, sipping his drink, only half looking at Chakotay, as he spoke, the other part of him watching Chakotay via the reflection in the window. “You take up the position of neapa, thus getting my parents to turn a blind eye to you and your crew, and I will host them in the west wing of our castle as guests, till your people come for you. When they do come, you all will be allowed to leave,” he finished, taking an even bigger drink before turning to face Chakotay. 

Erron was surprised that he could now read this man so easily, for a few moments ago, he was unsure, but now the concern was written all over his face. “Your people don’t…indulge in same sex delights?” he asked, amazed and stunned by this sudden enlightenment. 

Chakotay’s eyes narrowed, “No…we do not,” he stated as evenly as he could, not wanting to offend the one person that seemed to hold the key to his crews freedom at the moment. 

“Hmm,” Erron replied, his mind already moving onto the possible concerns Chakotay may have about accepting his offer, and he so badly wanted him to say yes, and be at ease with it. “Okay,” he said, retaking his seat, seeing the coiled man sitting before him, “How about, we keep the fact that you are taking the position of neapa between us, and use the guise that you are negotiating….trade…for your people when they arrive,” he said, unsure. But seeing Chakotay’s dark eyes perk up at the cover, he found his nerve to continue, “You may not know this, but the castle is miles in size. With your crew members confined to the west wing, with freedom to roam that section as they will, since they will be my guest, they will not know any different to what you tell them. You of course will be allowed to see them when ever you wish as with prior approval, they can visit you. I’ll..” he felt like he was on a roll here, “even go one step farther and give you your own chambers away from mine, so when they visit, they will not be able to draw any wrong conclusions,” he stated with pride, his plan seeming flawless…that is till he saw the dark steel eyes staring at him, it took the wind out of his enthusiasm. “Well?” he finally asked, hoping for the best. 

Chakotay saw the young man’s excitement of devising a plan to protect his honor, and deep down he was touched, but it still meant him having to…allow himself to be touched…that way, and he was not too keen on that idea by far. But he also didn’t want to subjugate the others to a foul fate if he could avoid it. “What happens if I decline?” he asked, having to hear what he was sure was going to be the answer. 

Erron sighed, his shoulders sagging a tad, he did not want to mention this, but the man had the right to know. He had hoped to keep things on a good note, “If you say no, my Mother ‘will’ find out, that I have not chosen and she will take you all from my care and send you to the mines, a place I strongly do not recommend. Only the worst of the slaves are sent there as punishment…I hate it, but…” 

“You can do little,” Chakotay stated, seeing this to be true for the younger man. He let his eyes roam inward, wondering if he could do this, but faced with what would happen to the others, he saw he had no choice, and perhaps he would luck out and Kathryn would arrive very soon. His decision made he looked up to meet anxious green eyes, “Very well, I agree.” 

“Excellent,” Erron stated; his joy now evident in his eyes. “I will have a guard escort you to your people, and thus you can escort them to the west wing, where you can see for yourself that they are settled well, and explain as we have agreed to them the circumstance of your separation…” he saw something he did not like in the fiery eyes he now adored, “What?” he asked with genuine concern as he approached Chakotay. 

Chakotay had hoped to keep his concern to himself and was seeing that this young man was able to read him too well and sighed, “I do not like to lie to my people. In fact, I do not like to lie at all,” he stated honestly. 

Erron felt his heart flutter with gladness at what his gut was telling him that before him was a noble man. “Than it shall not be a lie. You and I will discuss trade for your people and will have proof when the time comes. As for your being here and so far, another truth you may share, my Mother deplores too many strange people around, and I say true, it doesn’t matter their status,” he grins, memories of other officials being kept at bay because of her quirk. 

Chakotay stood and met the young man’s eyes, taking note Erron was a few inches taller than him, like Tom Paris, but more built like himself, and was pleased that this man cared enough to address the matter. “Thank you,” he said, wishing things could be different, for he was sure if they were, Erron and him could be very good friends. Then with a nod, he left with the guard to help care for his crew. 

Erron stood silently watching the strong noble man leave out, //Mother is right, Chakotay. You will break my heart,// he sighed, wishing he was strong enough to deny himself this time with the bronze beauty, but he knew he couldn’t and wouldn’t; he would make the best of it and hope for the best. 

***********

It had been two days, and Erron had kept his word, the others were given lavished rooms to stay in, freedom to roam the west wing, that was the size of a small city; in fact was a small city, having a large market and other shops inside the walls of the estate. Harry had been treated and was doing well, and Tom was grateful to him for standing up to the Kareterizel on his behalf, and Donna was taken by all the beautiful crafts about. In fact, they almost forgot that they were under any restrictions, except if they wanted to see their Commander. 

To his knowledge, all three crewmembers believed him, for it was the truth, thanks to Erron’s acknowledgement that they would negotiate trade, and thus for the first night, that was what they did over a light meal in Erron’s room. As Erron had promised, Chakotay was given his own room, from appearances, a good distance away from the young princes’, but like the keen man he was getting to know, it was much closer than one would believe, since it was joined to his via a secret panel in the wall, that Erron showed him; he kept no secrets from him, and Chakotay appreciated that. 

Tonight, however, the conversation was light, for they had discussed much over the two days that trade matters had been quickly dispensed of, and Chakotay couldn’t help but feel…nervous. 

“Are you all right, Chakotay?” the young man asked seeing his companion withdrawn. 

“Yes,” he replied honestly, though his eyes gave off the nervousness and shyness he was feeling. 

Erron could not suppress the smile he felt as seeing how striking his companion appeared at the moment. From their earlier conversations he knew Chakotay had never been with a man, and so was hoping to ease him into it, and with the promised trade talks over with, he saw that Chakotay was unsure what was to come next; Erron would not keep him waiting any more. “It is okay, Chakotay, I promise I won’t hurt you,” he assured the slightly older man before him in a gentle voice, as he got up and moved across the table to stand by him and place a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I promise,” he whispered as he gently rubbed the strong shoulders, feeling their tension to his touch. “Come,” he said gently, and then moved Chakotay’s chair back as he moved to stand, then took his hand, “follow me,” he added with a warm and tender smile. 

Chakotay was nervous, for he didn’t know what to expect. Erron had been kind and generous to a fault, as well as good company. He really liked the man and his quick wit and gentle eyes that glowed at him from across the table. He had been raised like many; sex was a union of a man and woman to not only express their love but a sacred prayer in which if they were lucky a child would be blessed to them from their union. The touching of the same sex for pleasure though not outwardly degraded was not looked well upon, for it did not fit with the teachings of his people. Now he was faced with an act that he never thought twice about, since it was not his way, but as he walked slightly behind Erron, eyeing his strong build, his long dark auburn hair that flowed down to his waist, and the touch of his soft but firm hand on his, he felt…confused and for the first time in long while, frightened. 

He believed Erron when he said he wouldn’t’ hurt him, but that didn’t mean things wouldn’t hurt, for such things were not natural, the human body was not designed for it. Yet he followed behind, hoping for the best and was stunned as well as relieved when they moved past the large bed to the balcony and outside. 

“Look, to the horizon,” Erron said, pointing with his free hand, never letting his hold on Chakotay’s hand slip. “See there, to your right, the four birds flying?”

“Yes,” Chakotay replied, for he saw in the distance the four birds that looked like metallic sculptures taken form. Some were silver, other’s gold, one copper, and one that look a darker metallic color…bronze. “They’re beautiful, what are they?” 

“They are Zendell, or children of the earth,” Erron replied, giving Chakotay’s hand a gentle squeeze. He then turned to look at him, “They are very rare and said to be a blessed omen to witness their beauty,” he added, his eyes drinking in the picture of the man next to him as the sun’s setting rays danced off dark smooth skin, as it did off the rare birds in question. “Of course, my Mother had the ones you see out here, brought here, since it is rare to see one, much less four. It is said to be even a better omen that they stayed since to cage them would be to kill them,” he finished. 

Chakotay watched them in their dance, his eyes fixed at their graceful movements and his ears suddenly attuned to their soft song, “They are magnificent,” he said in awe. 

“Yes…they are,” Erron replied, though his eyes and thoughts were on Chakotay as he spoke. 

Chakotay turned to see this and felt a flush cross his face, another first for him in a long time. He was going to comment, when a firm but gentle finger touched his lips silencing him. 

Erron gently pulled him from the balcony to the bed, “I promise, I won’t hurt you,” he whispered. When he had Chakotay next to the bed, he slowly started undoing the buttons of the long white tunic that now adorned the strong muscular frame, slowly revealing a smooth sculptured chest, but Erron didn’t touch anymore than the shirt as he removed it. He gave a warm smile, “Take your boots off and your pants and lie down, I want to give you a massage to ease your stress…nothing more,” he added, seeing the dark eyes shift with fear, as he moved to lay the shirt across a chair. “You have my word, nothing more will happen this night…please,” he said gesturing to the bed. 

Giving a small swallow of nerves, Chakotay sat on the edge of the large king size bed, fitted with soft white sheets and a light silver and brown comforter. Then he stood and removed the matching white pants, leaving only his own boxers, glad that they had been cleaned for tonight. He was going to move to lay the pants with the shirt, but Erron took them from him and gestured for him to lie down, on his stomach. With great will he moved to the center of the bed and made himself comfortable as he could, unsure if he could go through with this. //He said it was just a massage, it’ll be just that, and you’ve had those before…from a guy, this should be no different,// he told himself, over and over and over again, as he felt the dip in the bed. 

“Relax, I don’t bite…unless you ask me too,” Erron quipped, glad to hear the light snort from Chakotay, knowing his remark worked in relaxing the man. 

Chakotay felt the warm soft scented oil, a pleasant sent but one he did not recognize, touch his skin, then strong but gentle hands. He took slow deep breaths trying to relax to the touch, but found it difficult at first. To his surprise Erron started singing, his voice soft, deep but not harsh, and the melody pleasant, even if the words were in another tongue. It seemed the rhythm of the tune followed the movement of the hands or was it the other way around, he could not tell, nor did he care after a while, it was soothing, relaxing, and he was enjoying the song, not even aware that his body was enjoying the touching. 

Erron continued his song and ministrations to his neapa, watching him relax to his touch and as things continued, his hands having stroked up and down the strong muscular back, firm legs and thighs, he dared to remove the remaining clothes and found no resistance. As much as his own cock was hard from desire to be buried deep in the bronze flesh before him, he would keep his word, tonight there would only be the massage. He wanted Chakotay to be at ease to his touch and he was grateful for his grandmother’s teachings that he used now to sooth this man. He was even more pleased that Chakotay was not only relaxing to his touch, but to a small degree, responding to it; slight sensuous movements, like one of the great Yamaten cats that live deep in the Black Mountains, he shifted, as if having his fur petted. Yes, Chakotay’s skin glowed like the Zendall birds, but his body was built like the Yamaten’s, a great predator, that at the moment was being tamed by his touch; yes he was hard and sure he would climax soon, just at the sight before him, it was so beautiful. 

Thankfully, Chakotay fell asleep to the massage, still laying face down in the bed. Erron was not ready to take things to the next level, which he knew would happen if he rolled his neapa over and saw the rest of his glorious anatomy, that he so badly wanted to touch and taste; though now that he was asleep, he could not resist rolling him over to see what awaited him. 

He gasped with delight; Chakotay was big and beautiful all over. He wanted to touch him, wake him with his mouth, but he would not break his word to this man; it was too important…to both of them. But he was hard, his pants tenting his desires. He moved to the foot of the bed and stood, slowly opening his pants, releasing his hard weeping cock that also glittered like the rest of his pale skin, and slowly started to fist it, as his eyes feasted on the form he knew he would be buried deep in, as his mouth would kiss and taste. His eyes became hooded as the vision of the sleeping man before him blurred with the fantasies of that same man writhing under his touch, his skin glistening from the sweat of their union as he slammed in hard and deep, as Chakotay begged him for more… His eyes noted a slight twitch in the cock of the man sleeping and it was enough to send him over as his body’s muscles grew tight as the fire blazed through him, his essence pouring over his hand, while he bit his lip to keep the scream within, so not to wake his neapa, no, his Dorma, (thief of hearts), as his grandmother had called his grandfather, for that was the case; he could no longer deny it, Chakotay had stolen his heart and they had not even merged. As his body relaxed, his bright green eyes lovingly drank in his Dorma knowing he would do anything for him and would. 

***End of Part One*******

He felt good, his body felt relaxed, the bed warm, and the wet moist heat that was tantalizing his cock was doing wonders to improve his mood. It was only when his brain couldn’t recall who that mouth belonged to did he open his eyes, only to blink away the bright sunlight as the morning greeted him. But he blinked it away and looked down and saw with amazement the strong muscular young man, his auburn hair, soft as silk against his thigh, licking and sucking along his thick and very aroused cock. His mind chirped in that its only because he’s half asleep as to why his cock was so hard; though he didn’t even attempt to argue the fact that he was no longer asleep and was getting harder not softer as he continued to watch the firm soft lips graze against his flesh, as the same hands that eased him into sleep, now caressed his hips and stomach, sending waves of fire where as last night they sent only relaxation. 

Against his will, a moan of pleasure escaped his lips, for as he watched he found the act of this man going down on him erotic. His sound awarded him with fiery green eyes blazing up at him that only added to the picture he was witnessing. 

“Tell me you like this and I’ll continue,” a deep husky voice echoed up from between licks. “Don’t and I’ll stop,” Erron added, his bright eyes dark with sexual desire and a very playful impish overtone. “Tell me,” he said, as he lifted his lips away, his own lips glistening with moisture from his own mouth and the pearly drops of desire his Dorma’s cock had been offering him. 

Chakotay couldn’t but help give a soft moan of disappointment at the loss of the contact, his own eyes still locked on the vision before him. He watched closely as a pinkish tongue flicked out and licked the remnants of his pre-cum from firm, now slightly puffy lips. He swallowed hard, his cock twitching not only at the sight, but with need, though his brain tried to interject he was not suppose to enjoy this, it got cut out of the loop quickly as that same tongue licked off the current drops that formed at his slit and then played with it, as fiery green eyes stayed locked with his own. “Yes, I like it,” he panted, his surrender given with no remorse. 

“Good, so do I,” Erron breathed out, as he then lowered his mouth over the thick cock, his eyes never leaving Chakotay’s, wanting to watch his beautiful face flush with need and wanting to watch it transcend to the heavenly angel he knew would arise when the moment struck; he didn’t have long to wait. 

“Oh Yes!” Chakotay cried out, as the fire of orgasm was close upon him. He could not hold it back any longer, as he tossed back his head, his eyes closed to enjoy the sweet sensation of that hot moist mouth fucking his cock. It was also not lost on him that though he had had women go down on him, no woman had ever felt this good; it was like Erron knew what would make him fly and he was soaring, his body wanting to thrust hard into that fuckable mouth, only to be held down by strong firm hands…it was…incredible! “Oh yes…yes…” he called out, unable to resist, “I’m going to….I’m…I’m…”

“Into my mouth, Dorma,” Erron cried out, his own cock in his hand, as he too felt his own orgasm coming knowing he was pleasuring his love. “Shoot it deep within me,” he added, then plunged down deep to take it all in, for he didn’t want to lose a single drop of his Dorma’s essence. 

Feeling that mouth plunge upon his aching cock tossed him over the edge, “Yes, yes, take it all,” he cried out as his body exploded with a fire that burst from his balls it was so intense. 

Erron sucked deep and swallowed hard as his mouth filled with the tangy sweet taste and moaned in response, for as his mouth filled so did his hand, the look on Chakotay’s face, his tanned lips parted, his eyes closed, his face up as if awaiting to be kissed, while his voice called out his desire, was the last touch his body needed to fire his own explosion. 

Chakotay laid there panting, his body still soaring, the feeling incredible. //And that was just a blow job,// his mind kicked in. He opened his eyes at the thought, spying the soft white canopy over the bed, as his mind tried to focus on what just happened, how he felt and his minds undaunted comment. 

Erron had kept his word, he did nothing but give him a massage last night, but by day break he had woken him with the most incredible blow job ever, and Chakotay was suddenly having trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that not only did he enjoy it, a fraction of him was wanting to know what the other stuff Erron would want from him would feel like. 

“Don’t think,” a soft voice whispered into his ear. 

He turned to see Erron was now up over him, looking down at him, his green eyes darken with desire as they took him in and Chakotay found he was affected by that look; it drew him in and sent a spark up and down his spine, making his body shiver. 

“But…” Chakotay tried to say, his mind once again wanting to kick in. But he found his words stopped with firm warm, moist demanding lips pressing upon his. His only response was a soft whimper as he surrendered to them without much effort. Soon he felt the weight of another body pressing on his, the heat of flesh to his flesh was burning him as the need to touch and be touched possessed him. 

He had wanted to wait and do this slow, but waking to see that magnificent cock demanding attention with the waking sun, Erron could not wait anymore, he had to taste his love and drink him in deep. He was worried that Chakotay would react badly to this, but seeing those blazing amber eyes grow black with desire as they watched him lick and suck, he knew his worries were unfounded, for the moment. 

Having watched Chakotay come was an experience he wanted to repeat as often as he could, so when he saw him settle down and his mind begin to function he knew he could not allow that to occur. Sure he could get Chakotay back into his bed again, but there would be resistance built up from this morning, and he didn’t want that. No, he wanted to make love to his Dorma while the resistance was gone, hoping that once he showed him the delight of their merger they would be able to enjoy it freely for the rest of the time they were together. Of course in the past, Erron would have to wait a bit before attempting more, but where others drained him, Chakotay energized him, he needed to take him over and over again and knew he could too. 

He climbed over the strong glistening body and saw the thoughts try and form, then told him not to think. When Erron saw the protest, he clamped down on it with his mouth and was pleased once again to find little resistance. To him it was like his love was being awakened for the first time, he was finding out what his body really liked and Erron was sure that like his own, Chakotay’s body was made for loving too. He took hungrily of Chakotay’s sensuous mouth, his tongue tasting deep of the ambrosia with in, knowing he was giving this man a taste of himself, for it was still upon his lips and tongue; but he found Chakotay opening wider, allowing for his plunder, and tasting deep of the tongue that ravished with in him. 

Erron’s hands caressed the firmness that was Chakotay’s body, feeling again how soft his skin was, how smooth, compared to the light hairs upon his own chest. His hand found a dark perky nipple and started rubbing it, and was once again pleased by how responsive Chakotay was to his touch as his body arched up to meet his touch and a soft moan of pleasure escaped their kiss. 

Erron moved from the fiery mouth to taste the bronze skin that possessed his mind since he first saw it and found it like the man it encased, fiery, strong, soft, sweet, hot, wanting, giving, and amazing. He bit lightly and sucked hard; readying the place he would put his mark as his other hand having caressed Chakotay’s strong side, found the other nipple in need of attention. He caressed it like the other and Chakotay arched even farther off the bed with a pleasurable moan. 

“Easy, my Dorma, easy,” he soothed as he pressed him back down and kissed his way down. “Don’t worry, I’m going to love all of you, I promise,” he added in a breathy whisper. 

Chakotay couldn’t recall feeling this turned on, as his body was touched and caressed by skilled strong hands, which seemed to know his body better than he did. His eyes were closed, concentrating on the many sensations filling him, as deft fingers stroked his chest, and moist lips licked and sucked on the hot spot between his shoulder and neck, while the new sensation of a hard cock presses against his own filled him. 

His body ached for more and he didn’t even try to make sense of it, it felt so good. The taste of the kiss was fantastic; he had tasted himself before on women’s lips, but on this man’s it felt new, better, and the hungry engulfing kiss took his breath away. It also reminded him that he was not in control here, nor was he submissive here, it was equal…he wanted this. 

His hands reached up and brushed long strands of silk, as he held firmly but not harshly, Erron’s mouth to his chest, as it now sucked deep of his right nipple, eliciting deep groans of desire from his own lips, while his cock rubbed up against another, the feeling of this kind of friction new and wonderful. 

“Oh this is so fucking incredible,” he heard himself rasp out. 

“This is nothing, my Dorma, to what awaits you,” Erron replied, stopping his licking and his rubbing. Only to resume his activities by moving his mouth downward, breaking the contact between their harden needs. 

Once again his mouth was near the swollen steel of his love’s cock, but this time he had another goal in mind. He looked up and saw the black eyes that burned him with need and smiled as he moved to the nightstand nearby and removed what he knew he would need. He would not hurt his Dorma for anything. Once he had the small vial of oil, he shifted back and moved up and placed a deep kiss on his love’s lips. “I promise you ‘will’ like this,” he said lovingly. 

Chakotay looked up into the most amazing green eyes, having never really seen them till now and how they enhanced the gorgeous face looking down at him with such sweet promise, “I believe you,” he replied, not even fully aware of what was to come, only that he would believe anything Erron told him at the moment, as those open honest eyes looked at him…into his very soul. 

Once again he found that warm mouth upon his drinking him in, then moving its way down his body, leaving a burning trail as it went. It traveled once again to his chest, making a quick stop at each nipple, to rekindle the fire there, then again down his stomach, Erron’s tongue making tiny circles around his navel, three times before dipping in, then downward to his hip and then lowers to his thigh; where teeth nipped gently at his skin. Accomplished fingers massaged his balls, making him even harder with need, but they never touched his cock. The talented mouth traveled downward to his knee, his calve, his ankle, only to have it jump to the other ankle, and move upward, all the way back up to his neck, not touching his weeping dick, and he moaned with need. 

“Tell me what you want,” Erron asked, knowing Chakotay really didn’t know. 

“Touch me, please,” Chakotay begged softly, his eyes now black as night.

“Okay,” Erron panted as he moved down again, once more leaving a fiery wake with his kisses. When he reaches the purple dark rod of steel, he knew what needed to be done. He opened the vial and poured the oil into his hand and then he gently touched the head. 

“Yes,” Chakotay hissed at the touch. 

“Easy, my Dorma, easy, this is just the beginning,” he soothed as he let his hand glide down the shaft, then to the sac underneath, watching how the oil added to the sultry gleam the bronze skin normally had. “I’m going to touch you now,” he warned gently. 

Chakotay’s brain just replied that he was already being touched and enjoyed it, wanted more of it, especially as a hot wet tongue licked at the head of his cock that he didn’t at first take notice to the finger that had pressed into his lower entrance. But soon he noticed, “What…” he tried to speak, but it was difficult. 

“Shh, I’m preparing you, sweet one, I promised you would enjoy this, and you will,” he smiled, his eyes filled with passion and tenderness. 

Chakotay was once again amazed how Erron’s eyes could ease his fears and relaxed to the strange touch that is till another finger entered him. “I…I don’t think…” he tried to say, his body tightening, “We’re not built for such things,” he said, as some fear started to creep into the moment. 

Erron sensing this, shifted forward, keeping his fingers put, taking his free hand and caressing Chakotay’s face, as he placed soft kisses on his lips, “I won’t hurt you, Chakotay, I would die before I’d do that,” he stated truthfully. “Plus, I tell you now, my Dorma, your body was made to be loved,” he whispered before taking Chakotay’s lips hungrily, removing all Chakotay’s fears as best he could as he continued to prepare for their merger. 

When he was up to three and they moved in and out with ease, he knew it was time; besides, he wouldn’t last much longer for he was so hard with need. He broke their kiss and drank in the open flushed face, taking in the contrast of his dark glowing skin to his own sparkling pale; they fit so well together. “It’s time,” he said in a quiet voice. “As much as I wish to look into your eyes as we merge for the first time, this will be much easer for you if you were on your knees,” he stated gently, not wanting to spook his sweet one; like any wild animal, one wrong move and even the tamed would bolt. 

He helped Chakotay turn over and get into position, placing a few pillows under him to help support him. “Relax,” he stated as he began once again massaging his lower back sensing his Dorma’s tension. He spread more oil down his clef and with one hand massaged the dark perfect globes, letting his fingers tease the opening, letting Chakotay once again get use to being touched there, as his other hand prepared his own cock. Then when he could wait no longer, he moved into position, one hand still rubbing Chakotay’s back, the other, holding his hip for leverage. 

Painfully slow, he moved inward, letting Chakotay get used to him, little by little. He waited till he felt his Dorma’s back muscles relax and then move some more, fighting the urge to slam into him fast and wild; but he would not break his promise to Chakotay or himself; he would not hurt this man for the world. Soon, he was all the way in, the dark hairs around his shaft touching the soft skin of Chakotay’s firm ass. He rubbed his back, and his butt cheeks, letting his hands enjoy their touching, trying to fight down the urge to thrust till Chakotay was ready. 

Chakotay had never felt anything like this before. There had been just a touch of pain, but before he could respond to it, it was gone; Erron was being so gentle, it almost made him cry. That fact alone was amazing, for he realized he felt so much more open, vulnerable than he had ever felt before. He was exposing himself not only physically but spiritually; that had never happened when he was with a woman. He felt like he was offering something of himself that he had never before given as well as receiving something he had never before had. The fullness he was now experiencing was…arousing, satisfying, and strangely made him feel…sexy, desired and wanted like never before. Unknowingly he cued Erron to move with his own shifting to feel all this and more. 

Erron started moving and all the sensations filled him over and over again, that is, till another one hit…and hit hard. “AHH,” he cried out as his body shot up, placing him on his knees, and Erron holding him against his chest. 

“Are you all right, I didn’t hurt you did I?” he asked with deep concern. 

“N….no…” he replied as his body slowed in its trembling. “Do…do it again,” was all he could manage. 

It was then that Erron saw the fire of delight in his love’s eyes, “I told you, your body ‘is’ made for loving,” he whispered and thrusted inward, hitting that same spot and once more eliciting a cry of pleasure from his sweet one. 

His body burned and the fire was coming from with in, with each caress of Erron’s cock within him, stroking a place deep that no one had ever touched before, and he reveled in it, he gave himself over to it, “More, please, Erron, more,” he cried out, as tears fell down his face, for it was so intense. 

Erron did not see the tears, but he heard the plea, and held his Dorma close to him, and one hand wrapped tight around his waist, the other, caressed his chest, as his shoulder cradled Chakotay’s head, while he worked the spot he had made ready for his mark. “More you want more you shall have,” he growled out, his own body lost to the flames of their passion. 

He rocked harder and harder within the firm body, savoring each touch, each taste, sensing via the trembling in his arms that Chakotay was close. He would not touch his aching need, nor would he let Chakotay, as he reached out and took his hands and placed them against the head board, bracing their bodies for his pounding, while keeping Chakotay from touching himself. “You’re going to come for me, my Dorma, and you’re going to come for me hard,” he growled, “aren’t you?” 

Chakotay had never felt anything like this, his body was beyond burning, he was nothing outside their merging, nothing else existed but Erron’s cock moving within him, touching him, sending wave after wave of pleasure that overruled everything else in his body. The elements were building within him, starting from the center of his being and making its way to his cock that was so hard it hurt, but release was not near. He had tried to reach for it, to give the friction desired, his hands were forced to the head board, and this gave his body another new sensation, that of really being taken; another was someone taking him, riding him and he was helpless to do anything but allow it and stranger still, he wanted to do just that. 

Hearing Erron’s voice telling him what he was going to do, only increased his desire to give in, and so with his head on Erron’s shoulder’s his mouth open, sounds of pleasure the only thing able to come forth, he made the final crossing, he relinquished himself to the pleasure and once he did, it happened. Every nerve, every muscle, every sense within him fired and he truly felt for the first time ever what it really meant for his body to explode into pure pleasure. It was like his spirit was rocketing out of his body, straight to the heavens while his body made a similar but separate trip, then once up there they merged and every feeling doubled, then…the bliss of darkness. 

Erron was panting harder than he had ever done before, his body wanting to crash into oblivion, but it was halted when he felt his love sag in his arms after hearing his wondrous cries of delight. After having pulled out, he rolled Chakotay, who was out cold, to his side, and spooned up against him. He was stunned to see the tears and had he not seen the smile that was strong even while his Dorma was unconscious, he would have regretted this, but now he found he could not. He held Chakotay close, caressing his hair, speaking soft words of soothing and love, though he never said the word, just sweet words, to ease his love back to the land of the living. Soon he was rewarded by being greeted with those same blazing amber eyes looking up at him with awe and amazement. “I told you, you’d like it,” he quipped softly. 

“And you always keep your promise,” Chakotay replied, his voice raspy. 

Erron’s eyes turned serious with concern, “Are you all right?” he asked, caressing soft damn dark hair, then caressing the back of his hand down the damp cheek of his love’s face, the man he knew a part of him would always love. 

“Terrific,” Chakotay yawned, his eyes drifting into the darkness of sleep once more. Snuggling into strong arms, not even thinking about how he should not be enjoying this or how he should act; he simply knew he had enjoyed their union and didn’t want to leave Erron’s embrace now…or if ever, as sleep took him once again. 

Erron was no stranger to lovers or holding them as they rested, but he had never felt this way with any of them; no, Chakotay was the thief of his heart and prayed deeply as he watched his Dorma drift to sleep in his arms, snuggling deeper against him, that this Voyager never came for he no longer believed he could let this man go…ever. 

************

“Are you going to get up?” 

“Mmm, no” a sleepy playful voice replied. “I want to stay here forever,” he breathed out, snuggling deep into the strong arms that embraced him every morning for the past three days, making him feel loved, desired, and to his surprise, happy, very happy. No, he didn’t want to leave the confines of their bed, his and Erron’s. 

A deep loving sigh filled the air, “my sweet, Dorma, as much as I wish to remain here with you and love you again, you can not keep them waiting, they have practically banged down the front door wishing to see you…” he felt his love’s body stiffen at the mention of his crewmates and sadly understood it. Chakotay not only enjoyed their union as did he, but craved it like he did, reveled in it and was happy, thus also causing him shame when it came to his crew. But he loved Chakotay too much to let him hide, for he knew his love was a strong man and for him not to face things would hurt him even more; plus he wanted his love to be proud of their union, even if it was in secret, he didn’t want him hiding it, so once more he prodded his love to get up, even going so far as to physically push him out of bed. 

“What the hell did you do that for?” Chakotay growled, the warrior spirit in him surfacing with his temper. 

Erron could only laugh as seeing Chakotay sprawled on the floor, naked, a blanket twisted around his right foot, and looking so…so adorable. “I wanted you up,” he laughed again, holding his side as it now ached for to him this was all too funny. 

“Oh, you wanted me up, uh?” he asked, his anger subsiding to the impish predator within. “Perhaps I didn’t want to get up?” he asked as he untangled himself and slowly rose, taking note that Erron was lost in his laughter to see his change in demeanor. “Or perhaps, I don’t want to be up…alone!” he growled as he pounced on Erron, knocking him off the bed as both men fell to the floor. 

In fits of laughter both men rolled across the soft earthy brown carpet, vying for supremacy, but in the end Chakotay won by default as Erron surrendered and gazed lovingly up to his love, only to get a tongue stuck out at him in a childish manner. 

“I won,” Chakotay teased knowing Erron had given up, as he now straddled his pale glistening body. “Now you are mine to toy with,” he said in a playfully wicked voice, as he held his prisoner down. 

With a sigh of surrender and a bright loving smile, “As always, my powerful Yamaten. But are you going to see them today?” he asked, hating to end this wonderful moment, but if he didn’t it would lead to them making love and that would lead to another bout of will you won’t you and it had to end. “Chakotay, they are worried about you,” he added, seeing his love’s face grow taut at the mention of his crew once again. He knew Chakotay cared for them and in the end he would see them, if only to rest their worries. “Besides, while you’re visiting them, Mother will have me very occupied meeting with the hopefuls for my hand,” he added, another touchy subject for them, mostly for him, for he didn’t want to marry anyone but his Dorma…tradition be damned, but his Mother would not accept this and could bring harm to his Dorma via his people. 

Slowly Chakotay got up and offered Erron a hand up, “Okay,” he conceded, not too happy about facing them, nor did he want to hang around watching women parade themselves in front of Erron…the man he knew had a hold on his soul, whom he wanted to have a hold and not ever let go. 

“I know this is difficult for you, my sweet Dorma, but it is the right thing to do,” Erron soothed, seeing the hesitancy on his love’s face, and hugged him gently, rubbing his back to sooth some of the tension. 

Chakotay gave a light snort, “You and your names,” he mumbled, for Erron had many for him, and he hand none…none that he was ready to speak that is. He looked up into the face that now brightened his existence and smiled, “Are you ever going to tell me what Dorma means?” 

Erron laughed lightly, “Some day, my sweet, sweet Dorma, but not today,” he said, smacking his love’s butt hard. “You need to bathe and change as must I, and to keep us on track, I’m sending you to your room to use your bathroom,” he grinned, and folded his arms like a parent to a child. “Go on,” he stated, seeing Chakotay not want to go, giving him an almost pleading look to bathe together. “Go!” he ordered a bit more firmly, but any sting was removed by the smile on his face as he pointed to the passage door. “I will see you at lunch,” he finally added as he saw Chakotay about to close the door between their rooms. 

“Later…my…Dorma…” Chakotay replied, unsure of what it meant, but had a feeling it really did describe how he felt in his heart for this man, and by the surprise and glow in the green eyes of the man he adored, he was sure it was the right thing to do as he closed the door to get ready to face his crew. 

Erron, stood there staring at the door, //Oh, if it was only true,// he thought, but then seeing how Chakotay looked at him, the love he was sure was present as each day passed, he wondered if it was indeed true. He felt his soul glow to the surface of his skin he felt so happy, as he praised the fates for Chakotay and then he got ready to face his duties as First Son…choosing a wife or more precise, the next ruler of his people. 

**** End of Part Two ******

He wandered the market place, his robe covering him fully, though it was light and didn’t over heat him as it was a warm day, the sun bright and people were enjoying it as they crowded the walk ways. He was glad that as part of their trade that he had received was an allowance for himself and the others so they could buy stuff if they wanted, aiding to feeling like guests, then prisoners, that the High Lady would see them as if not for Erron’s generous heart and compassionate soul. 

He gave a slight sigh, for he knew he had it bad for the handsome strong man he had just left; he was in love and he knew it. If only he could feel as good about it as he so wanted to. He wanted to shout from the roof tops that he, Chakotay of Dorvan V was in love with the most incredible man alive, but fear that one of his crew would find out, prevented him. 

//Wouldn’t matter if you stayed,// he mused, as he saw others, some same sex others different, hold hands, at peace with their lives and their loved ones. //If I don’t go back, it wouldn’t matter about regulations or losing my position or…anything…but…// it was the ‘but’ that was killing him. His crew needed him, the division between Maquis and Starfleet though all but gone, was still there, and he had promise them that night when he gathered them all and told them what was going to happen that he would always be there as best he could and he would do his best to see them home…he promised, and he was not the type to break a promise, not lightly anyway. 

He continued his wonderings as he moved along the many booths as he headed to where the others stayed, knowing they were worried about him, since he had refused to see them over the last three days. Truth was, he wanted to forget them, Voyager, and any world outside of the one Erron had created for him in his arms. His body trembled at the thought of his lover’s touch; it was electrifying and Chakotay couldn’t stop thinking of him or his touch at times. He had never been with a man before, nor did he want too, now he wanted nothing else. It was like he wasn’t the same person anymore yet was…he sighed again, wishing he could meditate, but didn’t want to face any spirits that wanted to rebuke him for his enjoyment of such a thing, yet he needed someone he could talk too…there was no one. 

He stopped as a glitter of green caught his eye, and moved to a booth that had medium size crystals, the size of his pinky, oval in shape, hanging on chains, like necklaces, the bright green one held his eye, the color of eyes he adored. 

“I can engrave it, if you like,” the merchant stated, seeing a potential customer. 

Chakotay thought about it and nodded, “Okay.” 

“What shall it say,” the merchant asked as he took the green smooth oval crystal from its place. 

“Erron,” he stated evenly, though a slight blush filled his face, glad it was covered. 

He wasn’t sure, but the smile the merchant gave him, made him wonder if there was only one Erron around here or if they knew who he was, but the task given, he stood quietly and waited. As he did, he saw another catch his eye, blue, sky blue, just like someone else’s eyes he knew. Absently he moved back his hood and looked at it as it sparkled.

“Chakotay!” 

Startled he jumped and turned to see Tom and Donna across the way heading toward him. He felt a bit ill inside as he turned to see that thankfully the Merchant had finished with the necklace and showed him. He had chosen a glittering white to engrave the name and found it fitting. With a nod, the merchant wrapped it up and handed it to him just as the others arrived. 

“Are we glad to see you,” Tom said, as he placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. 

“Are you okay, Commander?” Donna inquired, seeing he looked…nervous. 

“Fine,” he replied and moved a bit from the merchant’s booth. “I see your doing some shopping?” he stated hoping to defer their attention from him for a bit. 

“Yeah, the arts and crafts around here are fantastic,” Donna replied, his ploy working with her. 

“Don’t change the subject, Commander, it’s been three days, and we were not allowed to see you. What gives?”

//Why does he have to play good officer now?// Chakotay thought grimly, for there were lots of times Tom would have been like Donna, but during duty, his mind elsewhere. “Its no big deal, Paris, there was just some ceremonies that I had to attend too and I couldn’t leave less I offended someone. I apologize if you were worried,” he added, hating to lie, but didn’t dare tell them the truth. “Where’s Harry?” seeing another opportunity to change the subject. 

Tom and Donna gave each other a glance, and Chakotay wondered what it meant, “He’s back at the room,” Tom finally replied. 

“Is he okay?

“I guess,” Donna said half hazardless. 

Seeing he wasn’t going to get anything from them on the matter, he decided to check on the young man himself, plus it got him out form under their scrutiny. “Well, if your both okay, I’ll go see Harry,” he stated, attempting to move pass them. 

“Any word from Voyager?” Tom asked a hint of hope and concern in his voice. 

“Um…no, not yet,” Chakotay said honestly, not mentioning that he didn’t even attempt to contact them. “I’ll let you know if there is of course. At the moment, just consider this an extended shore leave,” he smiled, doing his best to assure them. 

“So long as we stay in the west wing, that is,” Tom said sarcastically. 

//Great, he would have noticed that in a place miles wide,// Chakotay growled to himself. “Look, Lieutenant, we’re being treated as guests, not slaves as it very well could be. The fact that you are limited to say ten miles instead of a million is nothing to be concerned with, only that you have the freedom to enjoy the ten in the first place,” he snapped. “If you excuse me, I’m going to check on Harry before I head back. I’ll…contact you tomorrow, if not in person, I’ll send a message,” he added quickly and then headed off, not even bothering to look back to see how they reacted to him, he didn’t want to know. 

He walked fast and sturdy to the section that housed his crew and entered inside. He climbed the stairs that led to the three large bed rooms that were lavished in design, and knocked on the one he remembered Harry being in. 

“Enter.” 

He opened the door to see a dim lit room, and the slim young man standing by the window looking out, his posture looking very unhappy, till he turned to see it was Chakotay. 

“Commander!’ he smiled warmly, as if seeing a friendly face for the first time in months. 

“Ensign,” he greeted warmly, but with concern. “Why are you holding up here, it’s a nice day out…”

“No offense to our…hosts,” he said some what restrained, his face looking grim and full of distain, “But have you noticed?”

“Noticed what?” he asked puzzled. 

“Commander, there are…men…holding hands, women kissing…each other…” he shivered with distaste at even thinking about it. “I know different cultures have different ways, but…it makes me uncomfortable. No, I’d rather not go out there, if you don’t mind. Any word from Voyager? Commander?” 

Chakotay had been stunned by the young man’s words and reactions, more so than he realized. Sure he knew this was the common way of most Fleet and some Maquis, but hearing it, seeing it, was a like getting a bucket of ice water in his face. This was the world he was suppose to go back to, based on a promise he made long ago? Harry’s voice interrupted his thoughts, “Ah, no, not yet. But I told Paris that I’ll keep you informed of any developments,” he replied, wanting to leave and run back to Erron and forget these people, he no longer felt he could stand it here. “I’ll see you later, Ensign,” he added, not caring if his departure was abrupt and left. 

He bumped into Tom and Donna in the stairwell, but ignored them as he moved passed them, his pace hurried, short of a run, he didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to see them, he didn’t want to face them, and he didn’t want to go back!

************

He had been standing for what seemed like forever in the audience hall as his mother continued to introduce the hopefuls that she had selected as a potential wife, when slight activity on the upper level caught his attention. He looked a bit more direct and saw it was Chakotay, his movements though direct still appeared…frantic. Something was wrong. 

“Excuse me, Mother, but something has come up,” he stated politely, but did not wait to be excused nor did he want to attempt to explain, something was wrong with his Dorma and he intended to find out. With a bow, he moved off, taking the stairs quickly, but smoothly so not to bring any unwanted concern outside of what already existed and headed to Chakotay’s chambers. 

He knocked and found the door partly open and so therefore entered, closing the door behind him. “Chakotay?” he called out softly, but only silence answered him. He moved in farther and spotted the door between their rooms open and he headed down the passage into his room and spotted Chakotay by the balcony, staring out across the distance, his arms folded around his chest, his breathing erratic, he was most definitely upset. 

He moved right up to him and gently wrapped his arms around him as he spoke, “What is wrong?” he asked equally as tender. He noticed Chakotay jump with a start at his presence, but then a reliefe entered his dark stormy eyes, that held unshed tears and…fear, as the man turned in his embrace and buried himself in his arms, his body trembling.

He hugged Chakotay tighter, his cheek resting on his love’s soft hair, wondering what could have brought this strong man to know this kind of fear, as he prayed he had what it took to take it away and keep it at bay forever. “Shh, it’s okay, my Dorma, it’s okay, I am here,” he soothed, hoping to get Chakotay settled so he could speak. 

“Don’t let go,” Chakotay said in a muffled voice since his face was buried deep into Erron’s chest. 

“I won’t,” Erron promised, holding him tighter, rubbing his hand up and down his back, the other caressing his hair. “I’m here, I won’t let you go,” he soothed.

“Don’t ever let me go,” Chakotay said, then lifted his head so he could see into Erron’s loving and tender eyes, “Ever. I don’t want to go back,” he said, his breath still erratic, but easing. “I don’t want to go back,” he said again, once more burying his face into Erron’s chest, snuggling deeper in his arms, taking comfort in his embrace. 

Erron caressed his hair and rubbed his back some more, thinking on Chakotay’s words before speaking. “Dorma, one can not runaway from…” 

Chakotay snapped his head up to face him, his body and breathing once more under his control, “I’m not running away but too,” he corrected. “I don’t want to go back to that cold lonely world, filled with fear of…simply being me. No, I want to be here, with you, free to be happy and love you openly,” he said firmly, his eyes now burning with conviction. 

“Do you?” Erron asked, his own eyes showing their hope and anxiousness. “Do you…love me?” 

All the tension eased away as did the stiffness in his posture when he felt the fire of conviction to make his point, as his soul welled up from its depths to shine brightly in his dark eyes, and caress a smile upon his face so wide it almost hurt, “Oh yes,” he breathed out, his hands having moved from around Erron’s waist to his chest, “though it has only been a few days, I know in my very being that I love you. That I don’t want to leave you, that I’ll be your neapa or whatever you wish, so long as we can be together,” he finished, his hand now cupping Erron’s cheek. 

“Oh my sweet, Dorma,” Erron purred with his own love, taking Chakotay’s hand from his face and bringing it to his lips, “You know not how I have prayed to hear such words from your precious lips,” he said while kissing Chakotay’s palm. Then he looked up, his green eyes filled with love, but still held question. “But I find I must ask, what made you so afraid? I ask, for though I want you with me for all times, I do not want you to be ashamed…”

Chakotay stopped his words with his fingers on his lips. “I am ‘not’ ashamed, though I will not lie, I have felt it. I have been torn because among my people, such things, though they do occur, are looked unwell upon, and in the service I now serve, it is forbidden. I would lose not only my rank and position, but respect of many, and though I will not deny that has importance to me, it is not what I was most concerned with, but my people. I have told you our story, and why it would be important for that not to occur. But as I walked the streets today, I knew I didn’t want to hide what I feel or who I was or have become, because of our love…I ‘like’ how I feel inside when I’m with you and I ‘like’ who I’ve become because of it,” he smiled warmly. 

“I see things with new eyes, things I never understood I do now, and what I thought right, I see now as wrong. I ‘am’ new and I don’t want to be forced back into being what I was. That would be like forcing a butterfly back into its cocoon in hopes to get the caterpillar again…it won’t work. But I was once again torn because of my people; that is till I walked among them again…and knew I didn’t belong with them.”

“Why?” Erron asked, as he kissed Chakotay’s fingers gently. 

“I came face to face with their cold narrow world and I knew, I knew I didn’t want to return to it, that I couldn’t and still survive. But as I made my way back I was gripped with the thought that they may not let me stay, that either my people or the Captain will force me to leave you, and the more I thought upon that, the idea of never being able to hold you, touch you, love you…again…I couldn’t…it struck a fear into my heart so deep I became almost paralyzed. I love you, Erron, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you…if you’ll have me?” 

“Have you…have you? Oh my sweet Dorma, if not for my Mother and traditions that weigh heavily on me, I would have taken you to the south lands and begged you to marry me till you said yes,” he grinned, his joy vibrating from every pore of his body. “Have you, my Dorma, you already have me,” he said in a soft voice, as he leaned in kissed his love with all his being. 

After what seemed like ages, their lips and tongues sealing the merger of their souls, and the need for air forced their mouths to part, Erron caressed Chakotay’s flushed face, and looked deep into his now black eyes, “I love you, Chakotay of Dorvan V, and I vow so till the end of my days. Though the world around us may call you my neapa, you are my Dorma as was my grandfather was to my grandmother. You are the thief of my heart…guard it well my sweet one, for only you can break it.” 

The smile that dance in his eyes at knowing his interpretation of the endearment was true, that it meant a deep love, filled him with such joy, he felt tears fall…tears of joy. 

“Why do you cry?” Erron asked, fear and concern that his words have upset his love. 

“It is said that when our joy is so full that it goes beyond all we have known, to the point that it hurts, but so wonderfully, that we shed tears for the joy. That is how I feel now; that is how you and only you have ever made me feel, my Pooka, my chosen,” he stated, his own vow given. “Know this, that you have my heart as well, for I give it gladly,” he added. 

“I think I understand,” Erron said, his own eyes welling to the sensation that he had this man’s love in full and the joy it brought him overwhelmed every sensation he had ever known before. It was like his spirit wanted to leap out of his body and sing to the universe, but couldn’t because of the flesh, so all he could do was beam with it, and let his eyes share the sting of the joyous pain it gave him. 

The two men kissed deeply again, this time their intent to make love, as they wrapped their bodies tightly around each other, pressing hard need against hard need, when a knock on the door interrupted them. 

Panting heavily, Erron pulled back from his love, “Yes?” he called out. 

“I have a message from the High Lady,” a servant stated. 

Erron, eyed Chakotay, mouthing the words, don’t move, as he broke their connection and went to the door, his eyes still on his beloved, making sure he stayed put. He then opened the door and looked intensely at him, “What?” 

The servant cleared his throat, “She bids strongly that you return quickly,” he said, hoping he conveyed the meaning of her words, for she was angry that he left and wanted him back now. 

Erron’s eyes were torn between the beauty of his beloved, whose skin was glowing in the sun light, and the messenger, not wanting to anger his mother or offend any of their guests. “Tell her I will return soon, that I need to change first,” he stated to buy some time. Seeing the man bow, he closed the door and in several quick strides, he engulfed Chakotay in his arms and with his mouth, hoping his love would understand, they did not have the luxury for slow love making, but the need was hard upon him and only his Dorma could ease it. “Need you,” he breathed out as his mouth was now devouring the tangy skin of his love’s neck. 

Knowing that time was short and what his love needed, for he needed it too, he directed both him and Erron toward the large bathroom, hoping to love his Pooka in the water, making it quicker for them to clean up so Erron could return to his duties and not bring too much anger upon himself from his Mother for being here with him…loving him. 

By the time they reached the large sunken tub, that was always filled with fresh water for it circulated constantly, they had only managed to remove their shirts and outer coats, their bodies glistening uniquely in the sun’s rays that stole around the many tiny openings in the ceiling that allowed the warm air to flow freely as the leaves of the many vines that grew upon the walls brought shade.

Both men were trying to in affect remove the pants of the other, while trying to keep their bodies pressed against each other, neither wanting to separate, as their mouths paid homage to the other’s, than before they knew it, they lost their footing and fell into the water. 

Laughter filled the air moments after sputters of spitting out water. Both men looked at the other and laughed even harder. “I knew I wanted to love you in the water, but this is not quite how I pictured it,” Chakotay teased as he moved forward to help Erron off with his now drenched clothing. 

“I guess you only wanted to make sure I was true to my word and was indeed need of change,” he smirked back, letting Chakotay remove his clothing, warmed and aroused to see him take an aggressive role in their union; where as before Chakotay would only accept the advances made on him. 

“Mmm, I want to do more than that,” he purred as he lowered to his knees, so he could effectively remove Erron’s boots and then pants, thus making him eye level with the hard weeping cock now jutting out mere inches from his face. 

Seeing his bronze treasure on his knees before him sent waves of fire all through his body, for the vision of dipping his dick into that fuckable mouth was strong, but again, he would not do anything that Chakotay was not ready for, and to date Chakotay had never gone down on him. He swallowed hard, seeing and feeling that Chakotay had him fully undressed and now was removing his own boots and pants, but still remained in the water. “What…what is it that you want to do?” he asked, trying to keep some control, and really wanting to know what he wanted. 

Chakotay, now fully undress returned to looking at Erron and his glorious glittering pale cock that was now thick with desire. He had never tasted another man before, but having seen Erron go down on him and tasting himself on his lips, the desire to know his taste was strong. He doubted he could take him all the way in like Erron could do for him, but he would find a way to please his love none the less. Hearing Erron’s question, he looked up into smoldering green eyes and any doubts he had about doing this melted. “Taste you,” he whispered, as his eyes shifted down to his target and he moved forward, parting his lips as he neared the hard flesh and let his tongue flick out and capture the drops of moisture he knew was not water. Sweet and tangy was the sensations that registered as a soft, “mmm” escaped his lips; he needed more. 

He started with slow licks, getting not only the taste of Erron’s cock, but the feel for it, for he wanted to know every inch of it, so he could bring his love even more pleasure, and by the soft groans he was hearing, he wasn’t doing too bad, but he was only getting started. He knew what he liked, and until he knew all of what Erron wanted, he would use that as a guide line, and what he liked was to be sucked and hard, till he couldn’t control it anymore, then he would reach down and hold Erron still, letting him open wide for him and fuck his sweet mouth with abandonment…just thinking about it made his cock twitch, as his mouth licked and sucked with his own new abandonment to devour Erron’s cock, for he found the taste overwhelming and insatiable, he needed more, he needed all of Erron’s essence, and he would have it if he had to suck it out of him, which he was. 

Watching Chakotay gently go down on him was tantalizing, knowing his was the first dick his love had ever tasted. Then seeing him enjoy it fired up more of his senses, making it harder and harder not to grab him and force it down his throat, but he held on to the sides of the tub, watching, seeing Chakotay become fevered, almost frantic with his cock. He was enjoying it, loving it, wanting it! He felt his hips thrust, the need was now upon him; thankfully, strong capable hands gripped him firmly, as his cock was engulfed, “Oh yes, Dorma,” he cried out, “Take it all into that hot mouth of yours,” he panted as he continued to watch between hooded eyes, now black with passion. “Fuck me with your mouth, sweet one,” he growled, digging his nails in the side of the sunken tub, resisting the urge to grab him, but in the far reaches of his mind he knew Chakotay would choke, he was not use to this, but he vowed he would be and soon. Then the fire struck, his body shook, “I’m going to come,” he warned, unsure if Chakotay was ready but unable to do more than give a verbal warning. 

He was licking and sucking this man like there was no tomorrow, he was suddenly obsessed with Erron’s cock and drinking him in, literally. His own body was a blaze with fire at knowing he was pleasing his love, and hearing that soon he would have the treasured essences of his Pooka, he sucked harder, taking him in deep, not even aware that he had relaxed his throat without thought, the desire to have him come in his mouth over taking him. Then there was a shout of ecstasy from his love and he felt it, the gush of seed filling his mouth and he drank hardily of it, wanting every bit of it and more. The more he drank the more lost to the fire that was overtaking him he became, it having over taken his mind long since. 

He slowly started coming down from the flight of delight, but still felt Chakotay was sucking him, and the tenderness that arose soon after was present as was the burning of new arousal, but a bit of his mind recalled time was not their friend. With great effort he pushed Chakotay off, only to look into black eyes mad with passion, just before his Yamaten pounced on him, locking their lips in a heated kiss, his taste all throughout Chakotay’s mouth. Knowing he had to ease his love’s need before his own burned too hard again, he reached down between strong muscular legs and felt the hot rod of flesh, and squeezed it hard, eliciting a deep a growl, his Yamaten was definitely in heat. He continued to squeeze it then pump it as fevered lips broke form his own to his neck, sucking, licking him; Erron was sure Chakotay was going to bite him making his claim when he came and in his soul, this pleased him much. 

“Come for me, my beautiful Yamaten, come for me hard,” he ordered, as he fisted the hard weeping cock in his hand fast and furious, matching the need he saw in his love’s eyes. Then with a howl of his own, he felt Chakotay’s essence spill over his hand, as teeth were now sunk deep into his neck, it was…perfect. 

Erron sank down into the tub, curling Chakotay into his arms, cradling his head as he was still in flight from his release; he kissed his hair, and caressed him lovingly. “We are one, my Dorma,” he whispered. “Regardless of traditions, or your people, we shall remain one, this I so vow,” he swore, for he knew from the bottom of his soul, this was his mate, his chosen…his life, and nothing and no one would take it away from him, ever!

*****End of Part Three******

Harry had had enough, for it had been over seven days and no word on Voyager. He tried to tough it out, but it was becoming more and more difficult, since they were everywhere he looked, touching…he shook with disgust. Thankfully Donna was now just as eager to return, where as before she seemed willing to wait. Only Tom remained calm, though Harry was sure it was just another cover, for B’Elanna was back on Voyager waiting wondering about him, and Tom was not the kind of guy to not care about people, especially his girlfriend. 

The only person he was unsure about was the Commander. He had not seen him since that day, five days ago, and though he sent a message that all was fine, he never spoke in any detail about what efforts were being made to contact their people; well today he had had enough, and he was going to find out for himself. 

With a bit of persuasion he was able to get both Tom and Donna to accompany him to the gate of the main court, where Chakotay was, and where they now waited patiently to see him. He was a bit surprised to see Erron of all people arrive to greet them, but still no Commander. 

“Welcome,” Erron greeted warmly as the gate was opened to let his guest enter, “Welcome.”

“Greetings to you, First Son,” Tom replied just as warmly. “We have come to see Commander Chakotay,” he added politely. 

This was why Harry had brought Tom, for when it came to dealing with people, Harry was either too shy or too direct, where Tom always had a way with everyone, thus he remained quiet and let his friend do the talking. 

“He is busy doing me a favor, but I am sure he will be delighted to see you, come,” Erron said, gesturing for them to follow. 

All three officers followed the young prince, their uniforms feeling hot from the weather, but Harry had insisted that they look professional, and Tom had agreed, since this was not a social call, and they did represent their ship. Donna thought dressing in custom would still show respect and be cooler, but was out voted, two to one; for though there were two Lieutenants, Tom was senior, but he did keep it democratic at the moment. 

They followed Erron to a nice hall that was open and airy like most of the castle, and down a long passage to an even larger room. “Please be seated, I shall order us some lunch,” he stated graciously. 

“That is very kind of you,” Tom replied, seeing everyone else had lost their tongue. 

Erron moved off to call a servant, while Harry took a seat. Donna moved to the window and found it over looked a garden. Then her eyes grew wide, “Hey look, there’s the Commander,” she called out in a hushed tone. 

Both men moved next to her to see Chakotay dressed in a fine white tunic that touched his lower hip, a silver and gold vest that reached the length of the tunic, and black slacks. He looked almost like a pirate of old Earth, but without the sword, though still very dashing in his simple but elegant attire. Walking with him, was a woman of great but simple beauty, her arm intertwined with his, but still proper. Her long dark brown hair, curled and pinned close enhanced her soft pale skin, that had flecks of silver with in, of her delicate face. It was hard to see her eyes from the distance, but they could see she was laughing as was Chakotay, as they continued their stroll. 

“Great, we’re wasting a way, waiting for Voyager to come find us, and he’s courting,” Harry snipped. 

“Hey, what’s wrong with him finding a little company,” Tom stated in quiet defense. 

“Nothing, unless it’s keeping him from doing his job,” Harry replied, his anger clear in his voice. “He should be trying to get us home, since he’s the only one who can. Or have you forgotten that we’re not allowed anywhere near communication devises, our badges taken from the beginning?”

“Look, we shouldn’t be so quick to judge,” Donna said, though her eyes were still glued to the scene below, and it was difficult not to agree with Harry. 

“That is a very wise suggestion,” Erron said, having heard most of their conversation. 

All three turned to see the First Son standing in the room, his posture guarded, then relaxed. “I told you, Commander Chakotay is doing a favor for me, I did not lie,” he stated evenly. 

“We ah…” Harry was tongue tied. 

“Our apologies,” Tom said for him, “But we did not mean to offend, and I think I say truthfully that we forgot that you had mentioned this,” he stated politely. 

Erron eased a bit more, noting Tom and Donna were sincere, though agitated to see Harry was still in reserve. “You see, over the time the Commander has been here, he and I have become friends,” for this was indeed the truth, though it surpassed friendship, it was still true, they were friends as well as lovers. “I have also found his insight to things unique, and very sound,” another truth. “So, I have asked him to meet with the hopefuls and give me his opinion, since soon I must choose not only wife, but the next ruler of my people,” he said formally, though this was partly true. Yes, he had to chose, and yes he wanted Chakotay’s opinion, but it was also important that who ever he chose understand from the beginning that Chakotay was very important to him, and if she had a problem with this, he wanted to know upfront so he could dismiss her. His wife to be may rule the kingdom, but she would not rule his heart, and he would not lie to her about that either. 

“Please have a seat,” he said, as he moved to take one himself, glad that the refreshments were arriving. 

Tom waited till all were settled and drinks and food served before proceeding. “I hope you will understand my forwardness, First Son, but, has there been any word on Voyager yet?” 

It took great willpower to keep the scowl off his face, for sadly there was word; it had reach him only moments ago, even Chakotay didn’t know yet. “Yes, I have just been informed that there is indeed word of your ship. They will be here in three days time,” he said as warmly as he could. “I have not yet had a chance to inform your Commander, but I will do so soon, since your Captain is eager to speak to him as well as your selves, I am sure.”

“Fantastic!” Harry chirped, for he was glad that his time here was limited. 

“They are all right,” Donna sighed with ease, for she had feared the worst. 

“That is excellent news, First Son,” Tom replied, keeping to formalities. 

Just then the door opened to reveal Chakotay, as he entered alone, his face showing his spirit was light as his eyes danced with warmth and a pleasant smile was upon his face. “It’s good to see you,” he greeted them, as he walked in and poured a drink for himself, then stood next to Erron, placing a friendly hand upon his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I have been so busy,” which was true, for he had agreed to meet with all the hopefuls, and there were many, even after the High Lady narrowed them down. 

“Great news, Commander,” Harry quipped as he stood up with excitement. 

“Oh?” Chakotay asked, as he removed his hand and braced himself internally, for he could almost see what was coming for himself. “What?” 

“Voyager will be here in three days,” Donna replied, her own excitement filing the air with her words. 

Perhaps it was just Tom, but he couldn’t help note that Chakotay was not overly pleased about this, but said nothing. He let his mind take in that Chakotay did not enter here the Commander, but more like he belonged here, like Erron, for his greeting was casual, not formal as it always had been in the past. He also noted the ease Chakotay had moved with down in the garden and just moments ago, as well as the stiff posture he had now. //He found someone here,//Tom mused quietly, thinking that to a point, Harry was right, he was courting a girl. But seeing how relaxed and happy he was, he couldn’t blame him; but the real question he saw coming was, would Chakotay come with them or remain here. He also noted how Erron was not happy either, but Tom could understand that too, for had he met Harry and grew as close as they had; he would hate to see him go, never to see him again as well. 

“Yes, moments ago,” Erron said, getting up and filling his own glass, “Plus, your Captain wishes to speak to you. I’m sure to know that all is well,” he added evenly.

Chakotay gave a curt nod, “Of course,” he replied. He did his best to give a smile, but it would not reach his eyes, for he was not eager for this confrontation, but it was one he was sure was coming. He would not mention right away that he was staying; he did not want to give them time to plan anything. He would make sure the others were safe and sound, then he would tell his people, then the Captain, and then…he would stay, forever by the side of the man he loved. “I should call her now,” he suddenly said, not wanting to postpone things, nor could he keep up this front for the others long. “If you would excuse me,” he stated, “I’ll return with news,” he added, seeing their faces filled with concern as to whether or not he would return, before leaving. 

“Please, enjoy the meal,” Erron then added, “I too have things I must attend to,” he said, and then with a slight bow, he exited, leaving the three officers alone. 

“I can’t wait,” Harry said, glad he could speak freely. “I’ve had enough of this place.” 

“Hey, this is a nice place,” Tom chided lightly. “Sure it’s not home, but a place one could get use too…”

“Use too? Are you kidding?” 

Donna gave a light snort, not wanting in on this conversation and took her drink and food to the window. 

“Why? The weather is terrific; the people are friendly, rather charming, well, except for the slavery bit…”

“That’s not all, besides slavery, which I am sure is much worse than we have seen, since we’ve seen very little of it being kept in the castle, they are also…unnatural.”

Tom snickered, “Unnatural?” 

“Tom, I know you’ve seen how some of the….” He waved his hand, as if it should make it clear for Tom, “You know.”

“No, Harry, I don’t know. Enlighten me,” he said, though his eyes were not light, but serious, having a very good idea what Harry was talking about. 

“Men and men, women and women, that sort of thing, its unnatural, and it seems like its everywhere.”

Tom snorted, “It’s not everywhere, and…” he looked like he wanted to continue, but his eyes shifted slightly, as if elsewhere for a moment, then back to Harry. “Look, being in Starfleet means keeping an open mind, right? That’s all I’m saying, okay.”

“Okay,” Harry conceded, for Tom was right. They did need to keep an open mind for non-humans. It wasn’t their fault if they didn’t know any better, now was it. 

***********

“Dorma, are you all right?” Erron asked, as he waited outside the communications room where Chakotay had been talking with the Captain of Voyager. 

“I am…fine,” he said honestly. “I don’t relish how they may react when I tell them that I’m staying, but I will tell them. As I said, I do not want them to have any time but to say good-bye,” he smiled gently. 

“I understand,” Erron replied hugging his love to him, glad to see he was not overly upset. He then took his hand and walked with him passed the many doors to a stairwell that lead down to another garden away from the others so they could talk. “Well…?” he asked, looking at Chakotay with a sense of eagerness, now that they were able to move on to another topic. 

“Well what?” 

“You said you would give me your opinion of them once you were done, she being the last,” Erron clarified, his eagerness to hear his thoughts clear in his voice and eyes. 

Chakotay laughed, “I have not had time to process it all in my head yet,” he replied, knowing this would not please his love, but it was the truth. 

“Come on, Chakotay, you may not have all the answers, but I’m sure you have a few gut reactions…right?” 

Chakotay sighed, but his smile grew, as he freed his hand and placed it around Erron’s waist, “Very well. Overall, they are nice, but some, I can easily state…” he shook his head no. “They are hungry for power, nothing more, and though they hold themselves well, it is still in their eyes, except for Grandora, hers is hidden deep, and I must admit, had I not managed to trip her up in our conversation, I might have missed it.” He added, seeing Erron’s face grow a bit disappointed for he had liked her. “I’m sorry, but she is too manipulative and cunning, that it makes it difficult for me to think anything of her but lacking trust.”

Erron sighed, “Than it is for the better, for if she is so, than who knows what lies within her heart. I can not expose my people to such, now can I?” Than he looked at his love, “were there…any?” 

“Yes, there are a few I can say truthfully, that I would consider not only good of heart, but intelligent and compassionate to be open to the needs of the people but not be so overwhelmed that she can not make the harsh decisions a leader must make,” he replied, giving his love a half hug. 

“Well?” 

Chakotay only grinned as they walked. 

“Come on, Dorma, do not keep me in suspense?” 

“Well, as I said, I have not had a chance to think on all things, and will tell you more when I do, but I can safely say that out of all of the women I have met and talked too, I would ask you to consider Lasrrella, Trey, and Renwyll.” 

“Renwyll? You mean the one who seems too frighten of her own shadow to speak?” 

Chakotay laughed, “Do not misinterpret the wisdom of observation for shyness. She has a keen eye and takes the time to evaluate things around her before speaking. She also is not frighten of her shadow nor do I think of anything, though I can see how many can see her that way for she is not the thunder that many expect a forthright woman to be. But I tell you now; she is good of heart and soul, and cares deeply for the people. She thinks…something others are still learning to do, plus…I like her,” he smiled. 

Erron now laughed, “It sounds more like you have chosen,” he teased. 

“I have chosen,” he said facing him, “I have chosen you,” he added, his love shining in his eyes. “As for ‘your’ wife, I will leave that to you, for it is you who has to be true to your heart in this matter. You asked for my opinion and I have given it the best I can. If you are still unsure then let us all take some time together and see how we interact, since I know that is most important to you, but remember, we are but trivial in the wave of your people.”

Erron sighed, “I wish my Mother could hear you, I know she would agree that you should sit in her chair once she was gone…”

“Spirits forbid,” he laughed. “I may care for your people and will do all to help you, but I would not want to rule them or anything to take me away from being here, a hundred percent for you.”

Erron once more was touched by his love’s endless compassion and insight, “You are a true amazement to me,” he said leaning in and kissing his love tenderly. 

“As you are to me,” Chakotay replied, fingering the necklace around Erron’s neck, the one he gave him, and Erron wore constantly. 

“I will take your advice. Over the next couple of days, we will have an outing with these hopefuls, and we shall see who shall earn ‘our’ favor,” he smiled lovingly. “I shall inform my Mother, I am sure this will please her, for I do think she is worried that I will not choose.” 

“I’m sure this will please her too.” 

“Yes. Now, your people await their news too, go, and I will meet up with you at dinner and we will plan our outings and see what the fates have planed for us and our future High Lady.” Then with one last kiss on Chakotay’s lips, he left, as Chakotay parted and headed to see his crew, both men feeling good about things to come. 

***********

“What happened?” The High Lady demanded as she entered the large room, guards on the outside, guards in the inside, Lady Renwyll crying softly in a corner as she like many stood in waiting of news. 

One of the lead guards moved forward, and knelt, “the Royal Party was out lunching by the hills, High Lady when a Yamaten hungry for food attacked, seeking Lady Renwyll as its target. It struck from above from the trees…” 

“I see Lady Renwyll is fine, what of my son?” her voice, harsh from fear demanded. 

“He moved bravely to intercede the great cat and…”

“And the other, the neapa?” 

“Ah…was retrieving something from the carriage, he was not close…”

“And neither were you,” she growled as she backhanded him hard across the face. 

“It happened so quickly, High Lady,” Renwyll said from the window, her emotions now in check, though tears stained her eyes. “There was little they could do, the Yamaten should not have been this far from the mountains, nor would have been if someone had not tried to keep it,” she added, for she did not want the guard to suffer for what he could not have prevented, and she wanted the High Lady to have a clear picture of things. 

“Keep it?”

“The cat had an owner, who is being sought this moment,” she replied as evenly as she could.

“And the Yamaten?”

“Dead,” Renwyll replied, “Chakotay killed it with his bare hands,” she added, knowing the High Lady didn’t think much of him, might consider this and him with new eyes. 

“Bare…hands?” 

“Yes, but by then the damage had been done. The Healer is with your son as is Chakotay, by your son’s request,” she then moved back to the window, seeing the High Lady quietly move around the kneeling guard and entered the room that smelled of death. 

“How is he?” she asked the Healer in a hushed voice, who simply shook his head no, before stepping out, to leave the individuals alone to say their good byes. She braced herself, then moved to the door and sent a servant to fetch her husband, then looked back to watch the two men, allowing herself to see the truth of the bond between them. 

“Hold on,” Chakotay pleaded, trying to keep his voice encouraged. “I’m sure once Voyager is here tomorrow, our doctor will be able to fix you up good as new,” he smiled, though his eyes were showing his pain. 

“My…Dorma….I wish…” 

“Shh, save your strength,” Chakotay said, holding Erron’s hand in his, caressing auburn locks from his graying face. “Your going to be okay, you have to be, I need you…I love you, my Pooka,” he said, sniffling back his tears, his eyes shining his love for this man. 

“I…you…” Erron grimaced in pain, having refused a sedative, for he wanted to say his good byes, for he felt death calling him. His eyes then moved passed Chakotay, “Mm..mother,” he said, trying to smile.

The High Lady walked around to the otherside of the bed and knelt down and took his other hand, “I am here, and soon your Father, please hang on to say good by to him as well,” she said, her voice even, but a few tears found their way free of her pained eyes. 

“I…I…will try,” Erron replied in a whisper, licking his dry lips. “I…I have chosen,” he said, knowing this was important. He then looked at Chakotay, then back at his Mother, “Lady Renwyll.”

“Are you sure my son?” she asked, wishing their last moments did not have to entail matters other than a mother and son. 

“Yes.”

“Very well, it shall…be,” she stated, then stood as she saw his Father enter, so he could take her place, knowing her son would not release Chakotay’s hand till he could no longer hold it. “It shall be done,” she nodded and stepped back, her eyes saying what she could not. 

She watched he husband say his good byes, and then moved back to her side, as final words passed between the two men…the two lovers, for she could not deny it, Erron loved Chakotay and Chakotay desperately loved him in return. She shed more tears hearing their parting words, as Erron slipped a necklace of green crystal off his neck and placed it around Chakotay’s. 

“Some gifts…were just not meant…to be kept.” Erron whispered. 

Then the roar of grief filled the air as it echoed from the broken heart of the man beside him and out among the people…their First Son was gone. 

**************

“I’m sorry to hear about what happened to the First Son…to your friend,” Janeway said, trying to bring some comfort to her grieving friend and First Officer who now stood staring out among the stars, having long since left the planet behind hours ago. 

“So am I,” he replied his voice as hollow as he felt. 

“Look, take some time off…as much as you need…”

“Thank you, Captain, that won’t be necessary,” he said, as he turned to face her, his face stoic and controlled once again. “I’ve been away for some time, I’m sure the work in my office will need attending too. Thank you though,” he nodded. 

“If you’re sure…?” 

“Yes, thank you. Speaking of which, I should get started, if you’d excuse me, Captain?” 

“Of course, Commander, of course,” she replied, watching Chakotay moving passed her, his stone persona chilling her to the bone. Something more had happened down there, but there was no clue as to what from the reports, only that Chakotay had been friends with Erron, the First Son, and he had died. //Perhaps that simply is it, his friend died, and he is feeling responsible…// she sighed, //that is so like him. All reports said there was nothing he could do; damn that was a large beast, and to think he killed it bare handed?// She was stunned when she saw it, for it had been stuffed and mounted in disrespect of its actions, and it was the size of Chakotay, literally. //Perhaps that’s why he won’t let the scars on his chest be healed…a painful reminder of things,// she mused sadly. “One day at a time,” she breathed, knowing she had a ship to run and no luxury to mull over Chakotay, at least not now. 

***********

Chakotay entered his office, closing his eyes at the sound of the doors shutting. He was moving on auto, for his heart was shattered like his very soul, and he had no one he could talk to about it…no one. 

He reopened his eyes and sat down behind his desk, undoing his top latch of his jacket, feeling the necklace; he pulled it out and held it in his hands and stared at it for a moment. Then without another thought he got up and left his office heading to his quarters that were not far from here, just the deck below. 

He gave curt nods to those he passed, his eyes never meeting theirs, as he moved, and then entered his quarters, locking them. He didn’t care if he got in trouble, he didn’t care about anything anymore. He took off his uniform, stripping down to his shorts and moved to get his medicine bag. He set up for the ceremony and then settled himself, letting the smoke of the herbs ease him, relax him enough so he could move forward and enter the spirit realm, where he would ask for their guidance, and face their rebuke, but he would not back down or degrade what he found with Erron, he would not do that to his memory, and if they had a problem with that…well, one thing at a time, his mind said. 

Once he was there, he felt the spirit wind upon his face, and was relived it didn’t feel cold or unwelcoming. He stood there, soaking in the presence of the wind around him, soothing him, thanking the wind for its grace and welcome back. 

“Love is never wrong, young one,” the she wolf said, moving up next to him, her dark wise eyes looking up at him. “Only the foolish think such things.”

Chakotay was so glad to hear this that he dropped to his knees and hugged her with all his might, and then cried letting his grief flow. “Why,” was the only thing he could say, hoping but not expecting an answer. 

“As your loved one said, some gifts were not meant to be kept, sadly his presence in your life was not, but his love was and shall always be…yes?” 

Chakotay sat back and looked at her, “Yes.” 

“Good. You also know there was nothing you could do, so do not keep those scares in guilt, they will not serve you. Your path a head will be difficult enough without adding foolishness to it.”

Chakotay tilted his head puzzled, “Foolishness?” he asked, a tiny smile to his lips. 

“Child, you tend to be quite foolish about taking on the wrong doings and burden of others upon yourself. I tell you now, open your eyes and ears, and take only what is yours…no more.” 

Chakotay nodded, hoping he would be able to do just that. He then looked down to his chest and saw the scars that would not have normally appeared here, and saw they were crystal white, instead of the red darken flesh that was in the real world. “They are not guilt so much as a reminder of him.”

“A painful one.”

“Yes, but it is the only one they will allow me.”

“Hmmm,” was all she said, and then licked his face. “Try not to be too foolish, my young one,” she then stated, and left.

Chakotay opened his eyes, comforted by the fact the spirits didn’t rebuke him, but comforted him in his time of need. He then stood up and put things away, going to put the necklace in the bag, but stopped. He fingered it gently, and as if understanding, he placed it back around his neck, where it belonged. Then once more he got dressed and moved out to face his world…face it and see it with new eyes, for he was not the same man that had left, nor would he try to be again. 

****End of Part Four*******

Days had turned into weeks and weeks into months as one crisis after another filled his every waking hour, making it easier to move forward with his life; though it had been hard. In a week it would be almost a year since Erron had died and he was forced back into his cocoon as it were, but he was managing, though as of late it was becoming more and more difficult. 

Though his heart was still frozen, his body seemed to want to live again, except this time it knew what side of the coin it preferred. As crude as it sounded, he didn’t want to simply get laid but he wanted to get fucked, and hard, but that kind of behavior was against regulation. Of course Chakotay mused how anyone would know, and was appalled to find that the holodeck was monitored, oh, not so much directly, but enough to send a report to the Captain should any type of inappropriate behaviors were displayed, such as homosexuality in any form, from using a holo character to toys. The only thing not monitored was if two people did it while in a normal setting, though he did find it rather…upsetting to note that she got a regular update on any none mix groupings that used the holodeck for any lengthy amount of time; talk about violating without violating. 

He also checked, the replicator was also monitored for usage, and deep down he was morbidly amused that a woman could reproduce a phallus but not a man, and a male could replicate toys representing female parts, but again, not a woman, the absurdity of it all amused him, and yet frightened him, for he never ever thought twice about such things or what anyone who was…like him…gay, that was the term, though he first thought bi, but as he thought about it, women just didn’t do it for him, except for rare occasions, and he found it was mostly because they were more like a man, than he would have admitted at the time, thus he came to understand at the old age of 38, that he was indeed gay; had to go through if they wanted to serve, or possibly in this case, be made to serve on a Federation ship. 

With this information, he took a lot of cold showers or pleasured himself to images of his love, but his body wanted to be touched, touched where he couldn’t reach and the ache only continued to grow as the months passed. To make matters worse, was now he had to check his behavior, for he realized that he was scoping out the men, especially one Tom Paris, who’s tall lean body and shapely butt was beginning to be his latest torment that warred with his heart to not get involved with anyone…especially another man, but Tom was beautiful, something he never took notice off till now, and it was driving him nuts. But again, the fact that it was prohibited only added to the stress, not deter it form happening. 

Tension on the bridge was rising again, as he found himself once again picking on the young man, overcompensation for his desire to kiss that smart mouth of his. He knew he needed to reign himself in, so after apologizing to Tom privately, in the turbolift, for he didn’t trust himself alone with him, and not make a total fool out of himself, not to mention lose everything, he dashed off to the holodeck. He knew what type of sims were not monitored, so long as the safeties were left on and though it was low, he didn’t think he could resist. 

He entered inside and locked it, only Janeway could enter but not before a signal warned him of it, and called up a bridge simulation. He ran it through, it was easy enough, and the Tom hologram was true to life, smart remarks and all. //Of course it would be, Tom made this thing,// he mused. “Freeze program,” he called out. “Delete all characters except Paris,” he ordered next. He stood up, feeling nervous, and a bit guilty, as well as excited as he moved closer to the helm. “Reconfigure Paris character standing next to helm, still non active,” he instructed, and then watched as Tom went from sitting to standing next to the helm. 

He swallowed hard, his palms sweating for this was wrong, wrong to use another’s image like this, but his body ached, and he didn’t feel he had much choice, for he didn’t want to chance it with any alien and have side problems or get caught, nor could he play with another, real or holographic, and his body just wouldn’t die out like the rest of him, it was going to remind him that he was still alive, by driving him nuts with desire for the ship’s ladies man of all people. 

He now stood behind the hologram, his breath a bit shallow as he reached out, a part of his mind waiting for it to turn and smack him, but as he touched Tom’s back and there was no response, he relaxed, and let his hand drift down, slowly till his fingers got to the waistband of his uniform pants, and lingered, then…

“Spirits!” he shouted as he pulled away. “I can’t do this. Computer end simulation,” he shouted and the walls went to black and yellow with him standing alone. Not knowing what else to do, he called up his boxing program. After a few rounds, the tension still in his body, he ordered the safeties off, and then really let loose. 

***************

“This is the eighth time this month alone, Commander,” the EMH chided as he examined Chakotay’s broken ribs. He then looked up, “Mr. Paris, get me a level five regenerator if you please?” 

“Sure thing, Doc,” Tom smiled as he moved off to get it. He was the top medic on the ship and that entailed pulling sickbay duty from time to time. Of course, Tom doubted if anyone but him knew that he was pulling even more shifts as word reached him via Kes that Chakotay had been showing up beat to a pulp at least three times a week, but the EMH only knew about it if something was broken, otherwise, he would ask her to keep it quiet. He had seen the change over the Commander since their time on the planet and like most, he was concerned, but most were too frightened of him, and the Captain…she had her hands full with the ship to focus on one person, so long as they did their job. So, being as Tom would put it, the only one left, he was going to take it on him self to find out why this was happening and hopefully fix it. 

“I’m seriously considering suspending your boxing program privileges,” the EMH added as he finished with the bone knitter, as Tom handed him the regenerator. 

“Do that and I’ll come in here and box you,” Chakotay growled, his mood foul. “I’ll even make sure you remain solid and experience pain,” he added, his eyes dark with suppressed anger and other emotions Tom could not fathom. 

Tom snickered, but silenced himself getting a glare from the Doc. “Here, Mr. Paris, I’ll let you handle this, while I attend more…grateful patients,” he snipped and then left. 

Tom looked at the bruising and now wondered what possessed this man to want to take such a beating. “Does that hurt?” he asked as he touched Chakotay’s side, seeing him jerk away from him. 

“Ah…a little,” he lied, for it was Tom’s touch that he jumped from. At least the EMH he could ignore, even Kes’ but not Tom’s. He was tired, ache, and worse, his body was sensitive from the bout in the ring, and now all he could do was sit here and smell how wonderful Tom’s scent was, and drink in his soft pale skin, his sky blue eyes. //NO!// his mind growled, //I won’t give into this, I can’t!// and as Tom moved to continue to heal the bruises around his ribs he grabbed the regenerator from Tom’s hand. “I can fix it myself,” he snapped and grabbed up his shirt and stormed out, taking the regenerator with him. 

Tom sighed, //so much for that,// he mused. //One things for sure, Chakotay’s so wound up, he’s going to pop, for obviously his boxing program isn’t helping. Well, perhaps getting him drunk might?// he thought as he cleaned up, not letting the Doc know Chakotay took the regenerator, the second one in months, if his cataloging was correct. Tom sighed, //Cha’s in trouble, I just wished I understood why,// he sighed. 

“Ah, Mr. Paris, I see you finished up with the Commander, Good. I have a large quantity of specimen jars that need sterilizing, if you please.” 

“Sure, Doc,” he replied half heartedly. //Sheesh Paris, what is with you? Here you have your own problems and frustrations, on top of which the EMH on your case, and your getting mixed up in Chakotay’s, who by the way, still reams you out every chance he gets…not very bright Tommy boy, not very bright,// he mused darkly as he headed off to do another grueling task the EMH felt above doing. 

*************

Stalking Jenny and Megan Delaney during his shore leave was not the highest thing to do on his list, but it was becoming the most time consuming. No, he didn’t want sex with them, but it was their reputation for being the ships…most sexually explicit females on board, that lead him into this bizarre situation. He had heard their conversations from time to time, and their last one stated they wanted to pick up a few new toys, and they were going to see what this planet had to offer if anything. 

That was two shore leaves ago, and both planets had ‘nothing’ either were interested. He used them, discreetly, to seek out the places he would not normally go as well as find out about the planets views to sex. The first planet had nothing, their sex was boring, according to Megan, meaning no toys. The second one, almost as bad, and they didn’t indulge in same sex either, making it impossible for him to do anything with what little they had. He made it a point to know if they suspected him following them, and so far, they had no clue, and he hoped to keep it that way. Since he made the rotation, he scheduled himself exactly thirty minutes before they beamed down, so he could change into regular clothes and be in position to follow them. He did learn a few things, one, the girls were not as loose as everyone assumed and Megan and Jenny were good friends with Tom Paris. He could never hear their conversations, but it seemed that when ever Tom was down, meaning he and B’Elanna had a fight or something, he went and talked with them…no sex, just talked. It also gave him a bit more respect for Tom, knowing that he didn’t try to cheat on his girlfriend, when the going got tough. 

This time, he hit pay dirt. Same sex relations were allowed and open, much to the discouragement of over half the crew, and Jenny and Megan had just exited a store that made them very happy with their new ‘toys’ as they said in passing. 

He let them go on their way; he didn’t need them anymore, and stood in the shadows finding his courage. He had never done something like this before, but he needed something, beating the shit out of himself wasn’t helping, neither was simple masturbation in the shower. Summoning his courage, he looked around and didn’t see anyone he knew, and moved forward and entered the little side shop. 

The place was neat and orderly much to his surprise, not that he really had a clue what to expect. He walked around, his eyes gapping at all the different items lining the walls and shelves, things from whips and chains to phallus and blow up dolls. 

“Can I help you, young man?” 

Chakotay jerked, and then settled at seeing the older alien, looking at him as if he was just another customer, which he was. “Um…I um…” he didn’t know what to say much less what to ask for. 

The older alien, his face pea green, with tiny hairs like fur that lined his face, along his cheek and jaw, and nose, where the bone was, gave a slight knowing smile. “I see you’ve never shopped here before. Perhaps if you are willing to answer a few questions, I may be able to direct you properly.” 

“Ah...sure.”

“First off, do you seek male or female comfort?” 

//Comfort, now that’s a way of putting it,// he mused. “Male,” he said, feeling his face blush, hoping his darker completion would hide most of it. 

“Okay. Now, is it for you, another or a shared experience?” 

Feeling like he wanted to slink away but knew he had to do something, Chakotay simply looked to the floor, “Self.” 

“Ah,” the alien said, “this way,” he stated and showed Chakotay down to the other end of the store to a particular isle. “Here you will find items used for self pleasuring via the male stimuli. If you have never, used such equipment, I would recommend the following…” 

Chakotay had to suppress his smirk, for as the older alien spoke, he couldn’t help but feel he was buying a brand new shuttle rather than a sex toy. It took him a while to realize that the owner was doing this to place him at ease, and deep down he was grateful, as he made his purchases, along with instructions on use and care. They were placed in a simple cloth bag, common to other bags in the market so no one would suspect what he had. Again he thanked the owner and left, feeling like he just jumped a major hurdle in his own level of maturity, for before coming in here, he felt like a child, sneaking to look at explicit pictures. But he wasn’t a child and mentally he reminded himself that what he wanted wasn’t wrong, not if the spirits understood, just against regulations he didn’t care about, but had too for the sakes of others. 

He wondered the markets and the cafes sampling pastries, making a few other purchases, his mind settling on the intimate evening he was planning for himself. He bought some candles whose aroma was enticing, and a spotted a booth with long silk shirts, almost like night shirts. //Perfect,// he thought and marched himself over. //Dinner, music, candles, and a long savory fuck, while silk brushes against my skin…yeah, that does sound nice,// he thought as he was looking through he different colors and styles. 

“Commander?” 

Chakotay turned, managing to not jerk in startlement, a bad habit he had of late. “Paris,” he said in greeting as the young blond joined him, he too was looking over the silk shirts. 

“I see you have good taste,” Tom teases, eyeing the long white silk shirt, with intricate patterns of silver woven in, though it wasn’t quite Chakotay. 

“Thank you. I see you like silk too or is that a gift,” he asked, for the size shirt he had though long was too large for B’Elanna. 

“Ah…” Tom felt his face flush a bit. “You got me, yes, I happen to like silk,” he smiled, not seeing any reason to deny it. 

“I do too,” Chakotay replied a lot more at ease, since he felt secure in that he had his problem settled. “Though I don’t think green is your color, a blue…” he stopped himself, before he said brought out his eyes. The last thing he needed was rumors starting about him and men; he could live with the cold fish or ice man, as it stood now. In fact, he encouraged them, aiding in keeping people at bay. 

Tom looked at the shirt, not really hearing all of Chakotay’s comment, “Perhaps your right,” he said, moving over to where a few blue ones were, and showing them to Chakotay, getting his opinion, till one was found they both liked.  
“Okay, now fair is fair. That one is nice, but if you’re going with white, just plain would do. However, crimson would look nice,” Tom replied evenly. 

Chakotay feeling strange about shopping with Paris of all people found himself chucking, “How did you get so color oriented?” 

“Sisters,” Tom smirked and brought over a long deep red night shirt that had no buttons or overtly decorated patterned. It was plain, with a deep v cut and short sleeves, and a slight slit on the left that would hug the thigh since it was a night shirt. “As my older sister and mother would say, sometimes simple is best,” he smiled as he handed it over to Chakotay, glad that it was the right size too. 

Chakotay looked at the shirt and nodded, as he subconsciously fiddled with the necklace he always wore, for hanging out with Tom was a pleasant surprise and shopping with him made it that much more…interesting. “Okay, I’m sold,” he smiled. 

“Terrific,” Tom replied much like a merchant. “And shall I have it wrapped for you?” he teased. 

“No, that won’t be necessary.”

Tom took back the shirt from Chakotay and walked up with both the blue and the crimson to the merchant and bought them outright. He placed his in his bag and offered Chakotay the other. “Here you go.” 

“How much do I owe you?” 

Tom smiled his most charming, glad for a chance to spend some one on one with Chakotay and not have his ears bleeding from reprimands or Chakotay bleeding all over sickbay, that he was most definitely going to take advantage of this chance and hopefully find out what was bothering him, or at least establish a some groundwork for a friendship. “Just lunch,” he replied, “I’m starving, how about you?” he asked as he carefully manipulated Chakotay out of the booth to one of the local cafes and took a seat. 

Chakotay sighed, believing this was going to cost him more than the shirt probably was worth, but it had been a long time since he enjoyed anyone’s company, and he did sort of owe Tom, since he had been such a jerk to him lately. “Okay, lunch it is. Order what you want, it’s the least I can do, for being such a…”

“Jerk, ass, creep…”

Chakotay would have taken offense if not for the smile on Tom’s face, “Okay, okay, I agree, all those and more. I’m…sorry, Tom.” 

Tom looked up his eyes sincere, his smile less but true, “Its okay, Commander…”

“Chakotay, please. I think we’ve both had enough of rank to last us into next week don’t you?” 

“Okay, Chakotay, and as I was saying, It’s okay, in that I accept your apology, and I offer my own. I know I razzed you a lot too…friends?” he asked, offering his hand. 

Chakotay nodded and shook Tom’s hand quickly, so not to dwell on how it felt, he didn’t want to know, “Friends.” 

With that past, Tom and Chakotay sat back and enjoyed a relatively relaxfull and enjoyable lunch, that left both men laughing and smiling by the time B’Elanna caught up to them. 

“Sorry, to cut this party short,” she said, her sincerity true, for it had been a long time since she saw Chakotay smiling and enjoying himself. “But Tom has promised me a walk along the river.” 

“Not at all, B’El,” Chakotay said in understanding as he got up, feeling like himself again. “You two have a great time, I’ll see you around,” he smiled, then took his bag and left the two lovers be. 

He was only ten feet away when his com badge chirped, “Janeway to Chakotay.”

“Here.” 

“Sorry to bother you on your off time, but I need your help. Seems negotiations between the local regime and me are not faring well. I could use your input, if you don’t mind?”

“Not at all, Captain, I’ll be right there,” he replied, then moved aside, and tapped his badge again, “Chakotay to Voyager, one to beam up.” 

*********

He entered his quarters, and took off his uniform in which he had to change into since he knew what would happen as soon as he showed up, and he was right, he had been asked to come along to the meeting which he did. He let them talk as he always did, then silently writing his suggestions down on a pad that would prompt Kathryn on her pad with what to do or say next; it was a nifty way of making her look good, which was always the point, since a weak Captain, meant trouble down the road. No, Chakotay didn’t think Kathryn a weak woman, and most times she could handle her own in negotiations, but she knew he was better at it, a gift or a curse, depending on how one looked at it, and she used it, at his offering, now being a prime example of how it helped. If she had turned it over to him, they would look to him for answers and him as the real power of the ship, and thus would look at the command structure as flawed and thus lacking, thus equaling less respect, it was a chain reaction, one he was glad to help prevent, and one he was glad was over, ending in everyone’s favor. 

He initiated his privacy lock, nothing short of the Captain or a red alert was going to bother him tonight, for tonight was for him. “Computer, play music selection Chakotay…twelve,” he ordered and soft, instrumental sounds filled the air, relaxing but not overly soothing as to put him to sleep. 

He moved over to the replicator and programmed his meal, but would not finalize it till after his shower. He moved into the bedroom and stripped off his jacket, tunic, to simply his pants, his boots tossed in the corner. The thought of what he was going to do excited him, the fact that he could indulge quietly in what he needed to ease the ache inside him and enjoy his sexuality was…freeing some how. 

He looked around the room, “Candles,” he said, knowing what this place needed to accent the mood. He grabbed up the bag and dumped it…

“Oh fuck…fuck…fuck. Oh this just can’t be happening!” he said, his hands covering his mouth as his eyes were wide with disbelief. Then slowly he reached forward and picked up the blue silk shirt; it was Paris’ bag. 

******End of Part five*******

He had thrown up twice already, and his stomach was still upset, as he washed his face for the fifth time, partially wondering if he could use the towel he now held to suffocate himself as he walked back out to his bedroom, the music gone, and his body tighter and more wound up then ever. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he kept growling, though his eyes showed that he was scared. 

“Why Paris of all people?” he asked no one as he plopped down on his bed, and laid on it cross wise, feeling his world was coming to an end. “Why not someone in the Maquis I might have been able to…convince them to…keep quiet,” he muttered. “Fuck!” 

He didn’t stay lying down, he couldn’t remain still, his mind was moving light-years a second, and with each thought his world became smaller and smaller as the fear once again started to overtake him. He paced the length of his room, then out to the living room, and ordered a drink; sadly it was not real, so it didn’t really help. He then stood in front of the port view, his arms tight around his still shirtless chest, and he gnawed on the back of his thumb, trying to think, his eyes roaming to the com unit that still held the massage he found shortly after discovering it was Tom’s bag…Tom’s message, “Commander, I think we need to talk,” was all it said, it was enough. 

Chakotay had tried to think of options, but found very little and this was tearing at him. His eyes went back out to the stars in search of answers and caught his reflection and the gleam off the necklace. “Damn you ERRON!” he shouted in anger. He reached up to snatch the crystal intending to rip it off, but halted as his fingers wrapped around it, landing on the engraving of his beloved’s name. “No, I didn’t mean that,” he cried softly, the emotions too much to hold back. He closed his eyes and turned to lean on the clear view, “I don’t regret loving you, its just…” he let out a heavy sigh, trying to reign in his emotions. 

Once that was done to the best of his ability at the moment, he stood up straight, “Okay,” he said to himself. “The only thing I can do is find out what he wants and perhaps…work something out,” he continued saying as he moved in his bedroom to get changed, for he didn’t want to wear his uniform, it didn’t feel right; not that anything felt right. He didn’t relish the idea of being blackmailed by Paris, //Shit, we were actually getting a long,// his mind whined as he finished dressing. 

He pushed those thoughts aside, placing a tighter wrap on himself, as he exited his quarters and headed to see Tom Paris and find out what it was going to cost him to keep his world in tact. He was glad he didn’t run into anyone during the short distance he had to travel to see the pilot, for if they even looked at him wrong, he’d rip their head off, he was so angry and on edge. Once there he rang the chime and entered inside when bided to do so. 

Tom was sitting at the small table he had for eating or other things, staring out the view port, thinking, while nursing a drink. The sound of his door startled him back to the present, “Enter,” he called out, unsure who it was. Seeing it was Chakotay and seeing his obvious state of distress, Tom stood up hoping to make this as easy on the other man as possible. As soon as Chakotay was inside and the doors closed, “Computer, initiate Privacy lock, Paris 1012,” he stated, almost regretting it by seeing how even more uptight and distressed he became, moving only a step so he could lean against a wall, his arms wrapped around him like armor. 

Tom tried to smile and show Chakotay it was alright, “I just thought it would be easier if we were not disturbed, that’s all. Would you care for something to drink…”

“No.” 

“Perhaps having a seat…”

“Just get to the point,” Chakotay snapped; all his defenses in place. 

Tom looked baffled for a moment, “Point?” 

Chakotay gave a heavy sigh that sounded more like a bull snorting before a charge, “Yes, point. How much?” 

“How much?” Tom looked insulted, but kept it in check, for he could see how Chakotay was barely keeping it together. 

“Damn it, Paris, what the hell do you want from me?” he growled out. 

Tom just stared at him a moment, finally understanding, his anger at the insult faded, “the truth, Chakotay, just the truth, nothing more,” he replied in a sincere gentle tone, his eyes showing that he held no malice toward anyone. 

Chakotay almost laughed, but only a sarcastic snort echoed forth, “The truth?” He lowered his arms and stormed forward as if intending to charge Paris, but side stepped him at the last minute, “What exactly do you want to hear, a damn fucking confession?” he growled, his arms swiping the air outward, as if indicating Tom might as well stab directly at his heart instead of these games. 

Tom was not shaken by this anger or the sarcasm as he moved to get another drink for himself. He then turned once the glass was full, water this time, instead of the juice he had earlier, and walked slowly back toward Chakotay who once more stood erect his arms tightly bound in front of him, only his eyes showing how close to the edge his spirit was to shattering from all of this. “I guess it would be best that before I can ask for truth I should give it,” Tom said softly, as if a decision was made, but not too much effort given in making this choice. He placed down the glass on the same table he had been sitting at moments ago and looked at Chakotay, a tiny smile on his face, “I’m gay,” he said forthright. 

“Don’t play with me, Paris,” Chakotay growled dangerously, thought his eyes did narrow and a hint of hope was reflected there. 

“I’m not playing with you, Chakotay. I am gay, have been for as long as I can remember,” he said with such ease, that it could easily be a lie as well as the truth. 

Chakotay’s eyes narrowed even more, “But…B’Elanna?” 

Tom gave a soft laugh, for he anticipated this question, “Friends. Good friends, but nothing more. She’s…my cover. You see, she found out in the Maquis, I ah…kinda went a bit...wild then,” he stated, a slight blush crossing his face. Taking note that Chakotay was listening, he decided to continue, for he knew it was the only way he could get him to talk, for if he didn’t he probably would shatter, he was already fraying at the edges, and Tom cared too much about him to let that happen. 

“I guess the best way to explain is from the beginning,” he stated, moving to get another glass of water and hand it to Chakotay, even if he didn’t ask for it, but glad he took it none the less. “You see, I knew from a very young age that I was gay, but being an Admiral’s son…well, you can guess I also figured out that wouldn’t wash so I tried to over compensate by going after every woman that would have me; and before you asked, they used me just as much as I used them, for I only…took, the ones that wouldn’t care how good or bad it was, for they only wanted me for who I was, not who I am,” he stated after seeing Chakotay’s eyes shift to disapproval. 

Tom sat down after pulling a chair for the other man, but didn’t force the issue, he’d sit when he was ready. “I learned then that if everyone thought I was a ‘playboy’ they would never think me gay and I used that too as a cover, and,” he sighed with some regret, “It made for a miserable existence,” he finished saying after let out his breath. “Long story short, when I was in the Maquis, I no longer saw a reason to hide, and having years of pent of desires, I binged, not only on the drugs and alcohol, but men, any and all that would have me. B’Elanna found me in a…very awkward situation, and for reasons of her own, she decided to keep my secret; warning me that I should tone it down for even in the Maquis such things were not…welcomed. Though we didn’t become really close friends till Voyager, we held a mutual regards for each other, and as time passed, I found I no longer wanted to continue playing the ‘ladies’ man for the sake of having a reputation. So…”

“She sacrificed her own chance of…having someone to…pose as your girlfriend?” Chakotay asked, half in awe, half in anger and disapproval. 

“Hey, it’s a mutual thing. She hated the fact that all the men on this ship were looking at her like a piece of meat and truly believes that the only reason they would want her is for a bed warmer, even if I told her it was not true. I on the other hand was finding it difficult to either find excuses not to bed the women or do it, knowing what the score was…I didn’t like it. Regardless of what people think of me, I am not that low,” Tom growled somewhat. “I happen to care very much about B’Elanna as well as respect the women of this ship to continue using them. But even when I backed off…”

“They still kept coming,” Chakotay stated, finally understanding, and a silent apology in his eyes. 

Chakotay still hadn’t sat down, but his arms did relax somewhat, his eyes not so full of anger and distress, as silence filled the room. “Harry doesn’t know, does he,” Chakotay asked as he looked at the young blond that was proving more and more surprising by the minute. 

“Hell no,” Tom replied, though a light chuckle accompanied his response, “He may be a great friend, and I keep hoping to open up that narrow spot in his brain, but no, he doesn’t. Sadly, even after all this time, if he did…”

“He’d turn on you,” Chakotay said as if knowing. “So why…?”

“Like I said, except for that issue, he’s a good friend, and besides, it’s not like I’ve had a lot of options here,” he stated, gesturing outward to the ship. 

Chakotay nodded and finally sat down, actually drinking some of the water he had been given a while ago. Then he stared at the glass, unsure what to say. Tom had shown once again his limitless courage by speaking up and being direct, and though he wanted to return the favor, he didn’t know what to say. 

Tom seeing Chakotay was feeling lost as well as overwhelmed took pity on him. “The first two years you seemed to handle very well, but this last year…hell Chakotay, what happened?” he asked with true concern. 

Chakotay snorted, “The first two years were a breeze simply because…” he looked up at him, an odd expression on his face, one of acceptance and amusement, “Because up till a year ago, even I didn’t know I was gay,” he finally said. “Damn, Paris, you can’t miss what you never had, now can you?” he found himself asking, as he started laughing, not so much from anything funny, but the tension was leaving him and this was the form it was taking. “Unlike you, I didn’t even give it any real thought as to whether I was or wasn’t gay. I accepted what I was told to be the way I was suppose to be and made do. I never even considered why my ‘attraction’ to women was so low or my libido, I just took it as a part of who I was…simple as that. When I did take a lover, I just accepted that…” he snorted and blushed, shaking his head at the confession he was about to make. 

“What?” Tom asked, a smile on his face for the laughing was contagious, even if the conversation was not amusing. 

“I accepted the fact that I was a lousy lover. Sure I could bring them off, but they were rarely satisfied…I mean how could they be when I was…not really turned on by them. Of course I didn’t know that at the time, I just took it all in stride,” he mused, sitting back, his body unwinding as he spoke. “Fuck,” he chuckled, as he rubbed his eyes, “Looking back it makes sense why the only woman I even attempted a relationship with over the last few years were…”

“Masculine,” Tom said for him, showing he understood all too well. 

“Yeah.” 

“So…what happened…oh…” Tom said as if it all now made sense to him, and a light knowing smile crossed his face. “Erron,” he said, as if it was the explanation to everything. 

Chakotay nodded as he sat forward again, staring at his glass, some of the tension returning, not that it fully left. “I…I was going to stay,” he finally said after moments of silence, even then his voice was barely above a whisper. 

“Oh…oh, Chakotay, I’m…I’m so sorry,” Tom said, reaching across the table placing a gentle hand on Chakotay’s arm, true understanding in his voice. “All this time people thought you lost just a friend when it’s been so much more…I…”

“Didn’t know,” Chakotay replied as he gently pulled back from Tom’s touch, the grief still present, but not as it had been in the beginning. 

“So, do you mind if I ask what happen?” Tom inquired, believing Chakotay could use a pair of good ears that he could trust, and he did want Chakotay to trust him, “That is, if you don’t mind talking about it?” 

Chakotay once again folded his arms over his chest, his eyes taking on a distant look, though a tiny smile crossed his face, “Well, you know how we met, hell you were there,” he grinned as he looked at the blond that was proving to be a blessing then the curse he believed only moments ago. Then his face took on a bit of a more serious tone, “When you were taken to the cell, Erron and I went to talk, and basically, even as he was laying it out before me, that either I take the position that was…originally meant for you or his mother would have us all in the mine, he never once made me feel low or cheap. He was from the very beginning kind, compassionate, and very insightful,” Chakotay chuckles, “He even devised a cover to make sure none of you knew, having seen it was important to me that you didn’t. Hell, he even made sure that most of what I said to you was the truth….” He sighed, closing his eyes, a mixture of pleasant and not so pleasant memories filling him for the moment. 

“I didn’t really get a chance to know him, but what I did, I liked,” Tom said gently. 

“You would have liked him, Tom,” Chakotay smiled at him, “Hell, from the very beginning I kept wondering why things couldn’t be different for I knew we could have been great friends, well, before…” 

Tom watched as Chakotay’s face grew distant, sorrowful, followed by a soft smile that only a man in love could have, “you loved him,” he finished for him. 

“Yes, before I…loved him.” A moment later Chakotay stood up, his body still trying to get comfortable with his situation, for he had not shared any of his thoughts with anyone except his spirit guide, and though he wanted to talk, his body would not remain still. “I really had no idea,” he muttered softly. 

“What’s that?” Tom asked, not really hearing him, turning to watch the big man pace slowly before him. 

“I said, I really had no idea…what was going to happen. I first agreed hoping Kathryn would show up soon, for he did say once Voyager arrived we all could leave, I didn’t know…what fate had in stored for me…us…” he closed his eyes, this time pain crossing his face. 

Tom was up out of his seat in a second, a gentle hand on Chakotay’s shoulder, “It was an accident, there was nothing you could have done…”

Chakotay pulled away, his eyes snapping open, the grief strong on his face, “That’s not true,” he growled. 

“Tay, I saw that beast, it was as big as you, almost weighing the same…”

“And I killed it, with my two hands…’I’ killed it! Had I been closer…” 

“Stop it,” Tom scolded lightly, “This won’t bring him back and no one is blaming you but you, and I truly doubt Erron would want this for you. He’d want you to see the truth that it was an accident; that it…wasn’t meant to be…” 

“He did,” came the whisper, as Chakotay stood before Tom, his eyes showing so much of his heart, as a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. Seeing Tom simply look at him waiting for an explanation, he took a deep breath to calm himself before speaking. “His last words to me were ‘that some gifts were just not meant to be kept’, but…” 

“But?”

“But some gifts were,” Chakotay added, the words of his spirit guide. “He gave me more than the gift of his love, he gave me…myself.” 

Tom, seeing the vulnerability in the deep glistening dark eyes before him, simply stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him and hugged him, and was glad that Chakotay accepted his embrace, as they hugged tightly. Tom felt the trembling in the strong body within his arms and tightened his hold. 

Chakotay started to pull away, “I don’t think…”

“Don’t think, talk,” Tom whispered, pulling Chakotay back into his arms, and held him as tightly as he could, trying to sooth him as best he could. 

Chakotay took in a shuttered breath, needing this touch, this contact, his body soaking it in like air to his lungs, and he followed Tom’s advice, he talked. “From the beginning I felt like I was waking up from a long dream that was not horrible, but not pleasant either. It was like I was coming alive for the very first time, everything took on new meaning, everything around me became more vivid as I saw the world with new eyes as this dark shroud I never knew I had worn was lifted…” he sighed in soft appreciation, and hugged Tom some more, letting his hand gently rub up and down his back, as Tom’s hands moved the same on his. “It was freighting yet…wonderful, which was why I…stayed away for those three days,” he stated pulling back to look Tom in the eye, wishing to confess his lie. 

Tom chuckled, “Donna’ and I knew you were lying about the ceremonies,” he replied, wanting to let the big man off the hook. “Oh, don’t’ think we knew what was going on or that you were not convincing…somewhat, but we had tried to contact you and all we were told was that you were unavailable; we were sure if you attending something formal, they would have said…that’s all,” he smiled warmly. Then as if recalling that day, Tom’s eyes looked puzzled, “What happened that day? When you left Harry, you looked…very upset?” 

Taking another cleansing breath, grateful to be able to speak of things, Chakotay looked up into Tom’s bright blue eyes and gave a half smile, “basically I saw what my life on Voyager would be like if I returned in Harry’s eyes, and Tom…I didn’t like it then…I don’t like it now.”

Tom gave a sad but knowing smile, then leaned forward again and hugged the man in his arms once again, “I know,” he whispered softly, “but you’re not alone anymore,” he added in a hushed voice. Then the two men simply stood there holding the other as a comfortable silence fell upon them, both taking in the presence of the other, holding each other close tenderly. Tom caressed Chakotay’s cheek with his hair as he slowly lifted his head, then brushed his lips on his soft skin before brushing them across his lips, pressing gently on them, kissing him tenderly. 

A hushed moan escaped from between them as Chakotay opened his mouth, but then he tried to speak, “Tom I don’t…”

“Don’t talk,” Tom murmured, then took advantage of his parted lips and slipped his tongue in and tasted the warm sensuous mouth, sampling deeply, while offering his own mouth equally as he felt the kiss being returned just as eagerly. His hands caressed the strong muscular back as he felt stalwart fingers move along his, pulling him forward so he was pressed up against the powerful body of the man in his arms. 

The kiss didn’t remain tender as it built quickly, being the spark to long over due embers, the fire blazed quickly as did their passion. Hands roamed everywhere, the need to touch powerful for both men, their fingers seeking out flesh via any crack in the other’s armor of cloth, seeking and finding, then touching. In moments both men were stripped of their shirts, the a hiss of satisfaction as their chests touched, letting more skin connect escaped from both set of lips, that were devouring the others. 

Before either man was aware of it, they were in Tom’s bedroom falling to their sides on his bed, their bodies tangled, as they struggled to divest the other of their pants, while kicking off their boots, neither wanting to break the kiss, which had then both enthralled. Of course the need for air forced itself upon them and their lips parted, and their eyes opened to look deep into the other’s, both seeing passion, need, and desire within. 

“Take me, Tommy, please. I need it so badly it hurts,” Chakotay asked of his new lover, the need to be touched, to connect strong within his fiery gaze. 

“Oh yes, baby, I’ll take you,” Tom murmured as he kissed Chakotay’s lips deeply, his meaning doubled, as he kissed the lips of the man that till today he had only dreamed of tasting. He knew Chakotay didn’t love him, but that wouldn’t stop him from loving Chakotay with all he had, making partial dreams come true and perhaps finding more than their meager existence together. With his vow given, he rolled Chakotay over to his back, and climbed over him, pressing every inch of his own body along his, savoring the feel of the bronze soft tissue that encased the most amazing man Tom had ever met and deep down hoped to love forever. He aligned their erections and rubbed gently, his own body trembling from the moan of pleasure that echoed in the room from his dream man. 

The passionate siren call was all Tom needed to start his fevered devouring of the man’s skin, starting from his neck, down his sculptured chest, stopping to lick and suck each nipple to a painful erection, then further down, crossing the washboard stomach, to firm hips, where he rubbed his cheek, taking a moment to breath in the scent of his lover’s arousal, letting it drive his own desire before continuing his wet moist trail down the responsive body to the weeping cock that jutted outward almost screaming for attention. Inside Tom had wanted to take this slow, but the need was too strong, it had been too long for either one of them, so with a Cheshire cat smile up at the flushed dazzling face staring at him, he moved to his nightstand and removed a vial of oil, and poured it into his hand and he carefully placed it between Chakotay’s strong thighs, down along his clef, his slick fingers finding the long neglected opening and pressed in gently. 

“Yes…oh please, Tommy, please,” Chakotay panted at the touch, for he couldn’t wait any more. 

Tom smiled at his lover’s need, his own heart pounding not only from lust, but love at the sight before him. “Easy,” he purred, “I don’t want to hurt you..”

“I don’t care…please,” Chakotay replied, pressing himself downward in hopes of filling himself with the slim finger, but it wasn’t enough. 

“But I do,” Tom replied gently, as he continued to stretch his lover, but trying to move up the pace, for he didn’t think he could last much longer either. As soon as he had three, he pulled out, and saw Chakotay going to roll over, but stopped him, “I want to see you,” he whispered. 

Chakotay having never done it this way, simply nodded and let Tom take the lead. He felt the talented fingers along his thighs, then down to his legs as they were lifted and placed on strong slim shoulders, his breathing hitched at the sight and the stormy blue eyes engulfing him as Tom moved in-between his legs, his hot cock in position, then painfully slow, he felt it being pressed into his body, which started trembling with need and anticipation. He gave a soft cry of pleasure/pain as he reached up and grabbed the headboard, the shaking of his body increasing, “Tommy…please,” was all he could manage. 

“Almost,” Tom panted, determined not to hurt Tay, but soon he was inside, and he had to still himself or he would come just from the connection, for Chakotay was hot and tight, and seeing him sprawled out before him, his magnificent body glistening, his eye black and smoldering, offering himself, was a vision he wanted to burn into his brain forever, for this would be their first time and he prayed it would not be their last. “Beautiful,” slipped passed his lips in reverence, before the need to thrust over took him, then he did so with a primal need to claim the man before him, in deep hopes of driving away all memories of another, rational or not, it was there. He bit his own lip to keep the word ‘mine’ from escaping, it was not time…yet. 

Tom was thrusting into him fast and hard and he loved every bit of it as he used his grip on the headboard to push himself into each thrust, driving Tom in deeper, caressing that spot that ached to connect with the cock moving within him, and Tom connected with it over and over again. “Tommy…Tommy, oh yes….yes…” he sobbed his body on overload as the tingling that signaled the beginning of the end fired without being touched anywhere else. “I’m going to…oh, Tommy I’m coming…” he shouted moments before his body triggered every muscle he had into tightening, forcing out every drop of his essence and his passion in a roar of delight, covering Tom’s own cry of passion as he too came fast and hard. 

Just like the need was painful, the release was intense, and the result was both men collapsed together, Tom being gently rolled to the side, so they both could cuddle as sleep gripped them, their moment together being all that mattered, and they basked in it, till they dreamed about it. 

*********End of Part six********

“Baby…Tay, honey, wake up,” Tom called out softly as he stroked dark locks of the most wonderful face he had ever seen, sighing at the reason he was waking his lover at this hour of the night. “Baby, you need to wake up,” he called out again, seeing Chakotay stirring. 

“Mmm, no” he muttered and shifted so he curl up to Tom even closer, enjoying the closeness. 

Tom gave a soft laugh, “I’m sorry, honey, but you have too,” he insisted, though his voice was low and tender. 

Slowly wondrous brown eyes opened and looked at him, sleep only adding to his charms as a soft smile crossed his face, “Hey,” he greeted in a whisper. 

“Hey,” Tom greeted back, placing a tiny kiss on the Tay’s lips, but pulled back for he didn’t want to start anything…now. “I’m so sorry to wake you, baby, but it’s late and as much as I want you here with me…all night,” he smiled, showing Tay it was the truth, then his smile faded, “It’s just not possible. If someone should see you leaving my cabin…” 

It suddenly dawned on Chakotay what Tom was referring to and a slight chill, like ice rolled over him; they needed to be careful, their world was still too fragile for carelessness, and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Tom…ever. With a heavy sigh of understanding he sat up in bed, his body humming for the connection he made with Tom, and turned to smile at him, “You were wonderful, thank you,” he said, a bit of a shy smile crossing his face too. 

Tom sat up and placed small kisses on the strong muscular arm Tay was leaning back on, and a few more up ward to his shoulder, “You are most welcome, and by the way…bullshit,” he grinned. He saw Chakotay’s puzzlement and snickered a little, “You’re a fantastic lover, Tay,” he said looking up into his eyes, “You just were never with the right person,” he added honestly. 

Chakotay blushed, feeling Tom’s scant kisses on his arm and shoulder, “Ah…thanks.” He then tried to clear his head, “Computer, time?” 

Chakotay nodded, it was late or early enough that the halls would be empty and no one had tried to contact him directly, so he relaxed, but Tom’s gentle touches were continuing, and he smiled, feeling that Tom really wanted this as much as he did. He turned to look at him and his eyes drank in the blond’s graceful beauty and it warmed him, “I’m sorry for thinking the worst when I arrived earlier,” he stated, not wanting anything negative between them. 

“Hey, as I said, I understand,” Tom smiled as he looked up to meet Tay’s gaze, “and I hope you know now, you can trust me, that I’ll be here for you when ever you need me…” his eyes turned serious, “you’re not alone, Tay, and when you’re ready, I’d like to introduce you to the others…”

“Others?” Chakotay’s eyes widen, it never occurred to him that he and now Tom were not the only ones on this ship going through this. “There are…others…on Voyager?” 

Tom laughed at Chakotay’s naïveté, for it was rather funny that a man as smart and insightful never thought that there would be other men and woman on board that suffered like he did this past year. “Yeah, others, though most of us know about each other and have supported each other over the years, we’ve become rather close…behind closed doors, for we wouldn’t want people talking…” he sighed, “You know how it is.” 

Chakotay sighed, “I’m beginning too.” He looked away a moment in thought before turning back to Tom, “Do I have to ignore you?” he asked, his voice low, his eyes guarded. 

Tom understood the question, “No, not really, but we have only begun to make a friendship as far as the crew is concerned, we’ll have to…build it slowly.” Tom watched as Chakotay processed this information and the lost look in his eyes. “Just let me handle it, I’ll initiate everything so you don’t have to worry about anything…okay?” 

“It shouldn’t be like this,” Chakotay said, looking up into his lover’s tender blue eyes. “People shouldn’t hide behind closed doors because they care about someone of the same gender, shit,” he growled, “No one should have to live in fear of losing everything simply because they want to be themselves and love whom they choose, its…it’s wrong, Tom, plain out wrong!” 

Tom saw the blaze in the dark stormy eyes and reached out to sooth the man before it raged too far out of control, “I agree, but that’s the nature of the beast. Look, baby, let’s just take it one day at a time, who knows perhaps one day, things will change…but let’s not force anything now, okay…okay?” he asked, seeing he was slowly reaching his hopefully new lover, as he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. 

Chakotay gave a sigh of concession, “Okay,” he nodded. “So, I’ll let you introduce our friendship to the ship…what about…” he felt his face blush again, unsure how to ask and suddenly unsure if he should, since Tom was simply being of comfort. 

Tom loved Chakotay’s eyes…hell he loved the man period. Never in his most wildest dream, did he truly believe he’d have this sensuous man in his bed, much less seeing that this strong capable man had a shy side to him; it only made him love Tay more; as he looked deep into the all expressive eyes and understood the unasked questions. “First one day at a time,” he soothed, as he caressed his arm and shoulder, “and yes, I would like to be here for you, I want to be your lover, Tay. I won’t make anymore out of it than it is, two friends…close friends who can comfort each other like no other,” Tom added, a partial lie, for he knew his heart was already lost, but he knew Chakotay still loved Erron…not him, and he would be grateful for what he could get; it was more than he ever dreamed of and he would guard it with his very life then risk losing it. “Unfortunately, till the crew gets use to seeing us together as friends, we’ll have to keep our…nights to a minimal…once a week…” Tom said, looking up, glad to see this did not please his lover, but sadly as he had said, it was the nature of the beast. 

Chakotay gave another sigh, “Very well,” he said as he leaned in and kissed Tom tenderly, “I’ll let you handle this, since you know what’s what,” he stated, disappointment and frustration in his voice. “I don’t like it…but I understand it.” Then he grinned, “Others eh? Anyone I know?” he teased, since he knew practically everyone on Voyager, just not the way he thought. 

Tom saw the teasing and chuckled, “Sorry, Big Guy, but just like I won’t tell them about you unless you give me permission, I won’t tell you, I’m sure you can understand…”

“Sheesh, Tom, I was teasing,” he said, shifting and taking Tom into his arms, then is eyes turned serious, “and I do trust you, Tom, and I’m glad that you won’t say anything to protect them. Hell, if I wasn’t the First Officer, I wouldn’t want me knowing either,” he chuckled. “And your right, I don’t want anyone else knowing outside of us…for the moment, if that’s okay?” 

“Perfectly,” Tom smiled, //I’d like to keep you all to myself forever,// he thought lovingly as he felt strong arms surround him. Then he could sense Tay’s arousal coming over him again, “Baby, if you don’t leave now…” he moaned as Tay placed kisses along his neck, nuzzling his cheek, as powerful fingers outlined his back, as if he were memorizing every inch of his skin. “Oh, Tay, what are you doing,” he moaned, his resistance fading. 

“If I have to wait a week before I can touch you again, then I’m going to get as much in as I can,” he murmured, pressing Tom back on the bed, climbing on top of him letting his body touch Tom’s skin, from head to toe, his body drinking in the softness of it. “So good,” he moaned gently as he felt the connection of his now hard cock against Tom’s waking erection. 

“Oh…baby,” Tom moaned at the feel of being pressed into his mattress by the solid weight of the warrior’s body, however it was late. “We…we don’t have…time…” he moaned out, trying to resist the heated touches as lips devoured his throat, while firm hands were caressing his sides, and strong thighs stroke his own. 

“I’m making time,” Chakotay growled, and then bit Tom, low on the collar bone, his control on his passion gone, as he was now fully intoxicated with his lover, his taste, his smell, the feel of him, he was gone. 

“Fuck,” Tom cried out in a bit of pain by the bite, but quickly lost that thought as another fronted his brain, //Damn, is that a purr?// he asked himself as he heard deep rumblings echoing from Tay’s throat, as the Commander’s passions continued to engulf him. The last coherent thought was that Chakotay really was like a large powerful cat, for he had never met a person who really purred like one, and was as responsive to touch like one either; then Tom thought of nothing else, but giving himself over to his bronze panther, and he did so. 

***********

“Enter.”

Chakotay looked up to see Lieutenant Paris enter his office, who saw Lt. Cmdr. Tuvok sitting across from him, and kept very professional in his demeanor. “Can I help you, Lieutenant?” he asked the young man very neutrally. 

“My apologies for not only disturbing you, Commander, but for also turning in my report late, but I had wanted to go over a few things with you first,” Tom stated just as easily as if it was really the reason he was here, as he handed over the pad to Chakotay. 

Chakotay looked at the security officer, “Unless there is anything else, I believe we’ve covered everything for this week,’’ he stated politely, as he casually picked up a pad pen. 

“I believe we have covered sufficient ground for today, Commander, thank you,” the Vulcan stated and seeing the nod of dismissal, stood up to leave. “Good evening, Lieutenant,” he added before leaving. 

“You too, Tuvok,” Tom smiled easily, then watched him leave and turned to see Chakotay hand the pad back to him with a bit of force, that almost hurt, but saw that it was more done so for him to look at it. At the top of the pad were two eyes that had been quickly drawn in, and Tom looked at Chakotay, only his eyes asking the question of what does this mean.

“I’m sorry to say, Lieutenant, but by a quick scan, I can see that in your rush to get it to me, you forgot a few important elements that you may want to add before we go over it. Perhaps you can do so and bring it to my quarters, say 21:00 hrs, I’ll make some time for us to go over it then, if you wish,” he stated very professionally. 

“Ah, thank you sir, I’m sorry about this, and I appreciate the extra time you’re willing to give me here,” Tom stated just as professionally.

“In the mean time, I’m on my way to lunch,” he stated, gesturing for Tom to follow as he exited his office with Tom on his heels, a couple of pads in his hand. They walked down the hall in silence and into the turbolift, and Chakotay held a finger to his lips as he pulled one of the pads up into his hands and watched the read out, and sighed back against the wall of the lift. “Deck five,” he stated, and then looked at Tom, a mixture of fear, anguish, anger, and laughter filling his eyes. 

Tom looked anything but pleased, “Your office is bugged?” 

“Yes, has been since day one,” Chakotay replied, closing his eyes for a moment, “Halt lift,” he ordered, and waited till it stopped before he opened them again. “I’ve become quite paranoid and I happen to know quite a lot of places are bugged, but I can tell you, most places are not, such as your quarters and over 99% of everyone else’s; seems Janeway is still weary of me,” he grinned as he leaned in and kissed Tom soundly. Then he leaned back, “Continue lift” he ordered, shifting his body to look professional once again. “Most ex-Maquis works stations are monitored and some holo-deck programs…thankfully, most of the personal monitoring dwindled very quickly in the first year,” he stated flatly, seeing Tom’s eyes horrified at this fact. “Surely you knew…?”

“I had an idea that some places were not safe, but…still…to this extent…and ‘your’ office? After all this time, after all you’ve done for her?” 

More would have been said, but the doors opened and the two men silently walked out and down the hall till a few crewmen had passed, and Tom pulled Chakotay into a small observation lounge and before he spoke, saw Chakotay check his pad, then nodded yes. 

“You really have become paranoid, haven’t you?” he asked seriously. 

Chakotay gave a small grin, “Just a tad, though when I found out, since I was worried about just how much ‘privacy’ I would have on board since coming to new understandings about myself,” he smiled bashfully, “I was stunned by what I found. And yes, even a bit hurt that after all this time, she still has me watched, but I’m not the only one, like I said most ex-Maquis and sorry to say, even you are watched when at the helm…”

“Me?”

“Yes, but like I said, just at the helm, I’m the only one they watch from time to time on and off duty, though I do know they have left my quarters alone…so far, I’ve taken liberties to assure it, and to determine when and if I’m being watched or around someone who is. For I don’t think I’m the only one who’s paranoid, Tuvok’s been ordered to make random sweeps…”

“You’re kidding…right?” Tom asked, appalled by the news, as well as upset by it. “I’ll have to let the other’s know…” he looked pale. 

Chakotay moved, then stopped and locked the door, then turned to Tom to see his eyes livid. “What?”

“That…the very fact that you had to do that…just to hug me….ahhh!” he growled, his emotions getting the best of him. “All I wanted to do was come see you, say hi, steal a kiss and a hug, just like any other normal…person,” he stated, avoiding the word couple, for though he and Chakotay had been sneaking around for several weeks, didn’t mean anything…well to him it did, but he wouldn’t force anything on Chakotay. He agreed to be ‘intimate friends’ and he would keep it, unless Chakotay asked for more. “But no…I can’t do that; I can’t even talk to you normally without….” Tom was angry but not at Chakotay, so he turned his back, and covered his eyes with his left hand as his right opened and clenched with temper. 

“Easy,” Chakotay soothed, totally understanding just how Tom felt. “You’re right, this is unfair, and I’m trying to find away to handle this…but…”

“The regulations are clear, Tay, Starfleet didn’t want gay’s in service with them and made dame sure of it,” Tom stated, as he turned to face his lover. “I know, I’ve been over those regs myself a million times growing up.”

Chakotay hugged Tom closely to him, glad to feel the young man relax in his arms, “I know. Perhaps if I go to the Captain…”

“And become suspect number one?” Tom replied in anger, fear and frustration, “Then we’ll never be able to be together; because I’m telling you she’ll pounce all her suspicions on you and you’ll be under surveillance 24/7. 

“Tom, there must be something…” 

Tom cut off his love with a kiss, “I wish there was too, and perhaps if we had the crews backing us…but even the Maquis were not fans of the gay population either…right?”

Chakotay sighed in defeat, “Right, though if they were, like you know, we didn’t turn on them or kick them out…”

“Because you were desperate…I know how it was, I was there, remember?” Tom asked, giving his love a crooked grin, trying to ease some of his guilt. “Look, just let it go for now. We’re doing okay…right? I mean, you look happier…”

As if reading Tom’s mind, Chakotay pulled Tom even tighter to him, “I am happier,” he whispered and kissed him deeply once more as his hands caressed his lean back. Then his mouth shifted to soft pliable skin just under his left ear, “plan to stay late tonight,” he whispered, as he licked the shell of the pink ear, feeling the vibrant body in his arms tremble. 

“Baby, if you don’t stop I won’t be able to walk out of here, and I would like some lunch…” he protested weakly. “And yes, I’ll stay late,” he added as he pushed gently away from the man he desired. “But we really can’t push it like this; this will be twice in one week…”

“I know, I know, but I can’t help it, Tommy,” Chakotay whined, giving his version of puppy dog eyes. 

“Err, I bet you got away with murder,” Tom growled, for he knew ‘he’ couldn’t resist that look, much less get mad, as he finally gave up and chuckled, and kissed Tay on the cheek. “And you call me incorrigible.” 

Chakotay’s face lit up like a Christmas tree at the joy that filled him that being with Tom brought him. He had known he was attracted to him, and was even glad to become friends with him, but to be lovers was more than he truly imagined, and he found it filled a part of him he never knew was missing till now. “True, but you wouldn’t have me any other way,” he teased. 

“Ah, I can think of many different ways I’d like to have you, but for now…lunch…” Tom said, pointing to the exit. //Someone’s got to be in charge here,// he mused, since when it came to their personal life, he found Chakotay was more than willing to let Tom lead, much to his personal surprise, but he felt he was up to the task, especially if this man was the prize at the end, which he was. “March mister, I’m hungry,” he stated firmly, but a smile eased his words. 

“Marching Lieutenant,” he chuckled and exited out, still smiling as he headed to the mess hall, not waiting for Tom, for Tom always suggested it was a good idea that they didn’t make a point of waiting for each other in public; didn’t look right. 

Chakotay entered the mess hall and gathered up his tray and was glad there was good food he recognized and grabbed a double helping before heading to his usual seat in the corner, with a view of the mess hall. Sometimes he remained alone and read his reports, with a casual eye on his lover at a distance, some times Tom, B’Elanna and Harry would join him on a rare occasion, since it was Tom’s way of easing a public friendship between them so they could be seen together more often off duty, or sometimes Janeway would sneak in as she did today. 

“You’re in a good mood,” she commented warmly as she stat across from him, coffee in tow. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to see it, for quite some time I was afraid you weren’t going to make it out of whatever it was that was driving at you,” she added. “Though I wished you would have confided in me, what ever it was,” she whispered, letting Chakotay know this was his friend talking not the Captain. 

Chakotay knew Janeway was basically a good woman, but misguided as he came to see her responses to the regulations that ruled ‘unwanted’ behavior in fleet. A part of him wanted to trust her, but he realized that Tom was also right, she would slap him right up to the top of her suspicions list, simply because of her Captainly nature, mostly because he would be bringing up a subject that that should have been dealt with from the get go, not over three years later. With an internal heavy sigh of sorrow that he could not trust her fully, even if she was asking for the chance, he replied as casually as he could, while sipping his drink. “I’m sorry, Kathryn, but it was a personal matter. I needed to work through it, and I too…am glad that I’ve ‘snapped out of it’,” he smiled lightly. 

Kathryn gently took Chakotay’s left hand, that was resting on the table, in hers, “We’ve become good friends, Chakotay, and if things were different…” she let out a cleansing breath, knowing he understood this point well over the years, and saw no reason to continue it, so move forward, “I’m here for you no matter what, just as much as you’ve been there for me…just remember that,” she stated, pulling back her hand. “And as I said, I’m glad you’ve come out of it, I’ve miss having my friend around and I know the crew has missed this part of you too,” she added, with a light pat on his arm as she stood, sensing he was not going to open up to her about any of it. “I’ll see you on the bridge, Commander,” she nodded, then left. 

//If only if I knew for a fact that you really meant that,// he mused to himself as he watched her go.

 

************

 

It was 20:00 hrs and it was an hour till Tom would arrive to go over his ‘report’ as Chakotay stepped from the shower, making sure all was ready for their night together. Since they had to space things out, they made sure that what time they did have together was made extra special. Tonight, Chakotay arranged his bedroom into a one stop-stop. He had wine, cheese, fruits, sandwiches, and other items to nibble on, on a table near by, for dinner would be in bed…everything would be in bed, for that’s where he wanted his lover the entire time. They would, by Chakotay’s estimate of knowing his lover, make out, then eat, then watch a vid, while making out again… //Make out…why does he call it that?” Chakotay pondered as he gathered up the food tray, a wet towel still around his waist. 

He placed it down and surveyed the room. It looked romantic, low lights, food, a few roses on Tom’s pillow, the bed turned down… he sighed, wishing he could do more, but Tom said it was best to keep the living room clear incase someone dropped by. Then he turned to move into the bathroom to finish up, and was brushing his teeth, as his mind recalled his earlier musing, //Making out, why not make love?// he thought, as he stared at himself in the mirror. //I know he feels more for me than a simple friend…it’s in his eyes…why…?//

His eyes caught a glimpse of something sparkling in the mirror, and took his hand and rubbed away some of the fog, which the steam had left from his shower, and saw it…the necklace. It was then that he saw a new piece of the current puzzled called his life fit into place. //He calls it making out, for he doesn’t want to call it just sex…it’s not that for him…or for you,// he mused as he rinsed his mouth out, and stared into space, letting his mind continue. //But he doesn’t want to say making love, for that implies…love…// he sighed. 

“And just how do you feel about him?” he asked himself as he moved and sat on the side of the tub, his hand fingering the necklace he had worn since Erron died. He closed his eyes and let his heart simply feel in order to get a clear picture of things. “Torn,” he whispered. He knew a part of him was falling in love with the vibrant young man, but a good portion of his heart was still with his first love, Erron and felt a bit guilty. 

//You know he wouldn’t want you to pine for him forever, he’d want you to move on,// he said to himself, knowing this to be true, but his heart still ached. “But if my heart still hurts for him…?” he asked, trying to figure things out internally. //Means…what?// “Means I need to meditate,” he said with a chuckle, knowing he needed a bit more reliable aspect of self…as some would call his guide, though he knew better. 

He dressed and made sure all his preparations were done, and felt bad that he would not be able to meditate before Tom arrived tonight, for he never could curtail it to a time limit; it took as long as it took, and that was just how it was. He moved out to the living room, tucking in his dark maroon shirt in his black slacks, keeping it casual; again in case someone stopped by, not wanting to look like he was on a date. //Mores the pity,// he mused as he sipped his tea, for he would so love to dress up for the man, simply to see his eyes pop out of his head, and he knew just the outfit that would do it too…

“Tuvok to Commander Chakotay” 

“Not now,” Chakotay growled before taping his com badge, “Chakotay here?” 

“Commander, we have a problem,” the Vulcan stated evenly, but urgently. 

“What is it?” 

“Charges of immoral behavior have been brought up against two crewmen, which have been witnessed by another crewmember. According to regulations I am to notify command personnel before taking them into custody. I am doing so now.” 

“What?” Chakotay asked, more stunned than anything. “Who?” 

“Ensign Allen Marcus and Ensign Gerron Tem; I have sent security to escort them to the brig…”

“Is that necessary?” 

“According to regulations 37…”

“Alright, alright. I’ll be right there,” he stated, for he didn’t want to hear it, he knew the regulations, probably better then the Vulcan, he was just trying to get a sense if anything would be different here on Voyager, since he was sure Tuvok contacted the Captain first. But just in case, “Did you inform the Captain yet?”

“I notified her first thing. She instructed me to notify you as per protocol and follow regulation to the fullest in this matter; I am doing so.” 

//Bitch!// he mind growled. “On my way,” he stated and closed the channel, as he headed to get changed into his uniform. //So much for ‘no matter what’// he mused darkly as stripped down to his shorts and tossed on the cloth he was becoming more and more allergic too. He was fastening his jacket as the door chimed. He moved toward it to open it and saw Tom standing there, his eyes taking in his dress. 

“Sorry, got to go,” he stated as he moved passed him, for he had to hurry or matters could become worse if they were not already. “Evenings canceled,” he shouted over his shoulder as he dashed for the lift, hoping to head off what he knew was going to be a nightmare in the making from becoming a horrendous hell. 

******End of Part Seven*******

Chakotay entered the brig just as both Gerron and Allen were being brought in and by the looks on their faces they were scared. “Separate cells,” he orders flatly as he moved to the control station and deactivated the personal log capability that the brig had so prisoners could keep track of their thoughts; he didn’t want them talking to anyone, including themselves. 

“Ah, Commander, Tuvok said to put them in the same…”

Chakotay gave his look of don’t mess with me to Ryan, fleet and at the moment incharge of the brig for this shift, “I said separate cells, ‘Ensign’,” he growled. Then watched as the young man did as he was instructed, as he glanced as the pad that had become attached to him over the year; people didn’t know he was monitoring the monitors and simply believed it was his way of keeping organized, which to a degree it was, and saw that they were being watched, but audio only at the moment. They would not notice his action of closing off the computer logs to the prisoners till later, for he was sure neither Allen or Gerron looked like they wanted to talk to anyone much less themselves, which was a good thing. 

Chakotay walked up to the cells, so he could look at both young men, and in his heart he felt for them; it didn’t matter to him if they were lover’s or not, fate had placed them in the role of being the catalyst to this moment, and though he was not expecting it, he knew he had to be ready to deal with it; for he wanted to bring this to a head and spirits granted him the opportunity. If he failed, many, including these two young men and himself would pay, so he would tread lightly…at first. Step one, protect them from the unseen predators that were lurking in shadows. 

“The two of you listen to me carefully, for I’m only going to say this once,” he stated firmly. “The two of you are to speak to ‘no one’,” he stressed, “ and I mean no one till either this matter has been cleared or council appointed, do I make myself clear?” he asked, and saw both men nod, partially glad they were afraid to even say yes. “That includes each other, guards, even the Captain,” he stated, knowing he was in the right. “For under regulations 2.13 of the justice code, in regards to the nature of the pending charges against you, no one may question you without legal representation present, unless rights are waved. Do ‘not’ wave your rights in this matter,” he stated firmly, making it sound like an order, though he could not do so. He turned to Ryan, “They are to speak to no one as I have said, including each other, till a decision is reached on whether or not charges are going to be formally made; then and only then may they be questioned if their counsel is present, do you understand this, Ensign?”

“Yes, sir,” Ryan stated, standing tall in response to the order.

“As I have informed them, this regulation includes the Captain. If she for any reason attempts to sway you from following this protocol as dictated by Starfleet regulations, you are to step aside, then notify me at once, do you understand?” 

“Thoroughly, sir.”

“Good.” 

Just then Tuvok entered and saw the prisoners in separate cells. “I though I gave orders…”

“I ordered separate cells,” Chakotay stated, keeping the stoic mask in place, giving off his aura of command. “I have also informed them to speak to know one till it is determined if formal charges will be filed, as is accordance to regulations,” he stated, knowing he had the Vulcan on this one. “Ensign you have your orders,” he nodded as he moved toward Tuvok. “I’m sure the Captain is waiting for us,” he said, gesturing for the security officer to lead the way, for it was standard for the Captain to be notified and the three of them to go over the charges filed and then decide the best course of action, depending on what the regulations stated; plus he didn’t want Tuvok overriding his work. 

“Yes, of course,” Tuvok replied and exited out of the brig and walked quietly with the Commander to the turbolift. 

“How many men were with you when you approached them to take them into custody?” he asked casually. 

“Four; may I ask why you are inquiring?”

“Because Only Ryan and Wilks arrived, and only Ryan stayed, meaning there are three men that can spread unwanted gossip, not excluding who may have been present when you ‘fetched’ them,” Chakotay stated as evenly as he could, trying to let the Vulcan piece his concern together himself. He looked at the Vulcan as the lift approached their destination. “Rumors, Tuvok, can be nasty business,” is all he said as they exited out and headed to the Captain’s ready room. 

“Gentlemen,” she stated unhappily over a strong cup of coffee, gesturing for them to take a seat. 

They both took a seat facing her, as Tuvok handed them a copy of the charges and the witness testimony. Tuvok then remained silent as he allowed for the Captain and the Commander to read over the report before this meeting could begin. 

It wasn’t good; Joe Carrie, true fleeter, walked in the observation lounge and saw them kissing, end of story. It was going to be real hard to sway his testimony into enough doubt, Chakotay was thinking as he saw from the corner of his eye that Janeway was ready. “Well?” he asked, seeing how she would handle this. 

She sat there a moment in silence, and then looked up, “Perhaps I should talk to them,” she stated evenly. “Maybe this can easily be cleared up,” she suggested. 

“Begging your pardon, Captain, but that would not be a wise idea,” Chakotay replied, slightly glad that she didn’t go barracuda from the get go. 

She looked at him strangely, “Oh, and why not. It would be better for everyone involved…” 

“Would it?” he intruded. 

“Explain,” she stated, though her tone almost demanded it, for she didn’t like being cut off like this. 

Seeing her eyes grow dark, he calmed himself, for though his face showed nothing, his actions were screaming, and he needed them to be calm, so he took a cleansing breath, and forced himself to calm down. “I apologies for over stepping you, Captain, and normally under different circumstances, a personal touch would be preferred in this matter, however, we are not afforded that luxury. You see, if you go and speak to them, against protocol, since we have not decided to make formal charges or not, and happen to discover some reason that they indeed are…guilty…of the charges, then who may I ask will preside over the proceedings? If you step aside for any reason, Captain, those men, guilty or not, will have their lives…irrevocably ruined,” //Unless I can change a whole hell of a lot of minds here// he added mentally. 

Janeway sat back in her chair, thinking about what Chakotay had said, and nodded, “your right. If I found out anything pertaining to these charges being true, I’d have to allow the charges to be formalized and then step aside…” she sighed. “Then I guess we have no choice, it’s going to have to be by the book, gentlemen,” she stated, a bit of sadness in her tone. 

Chakotay hoped it was for the right reasons, but he could not be sure nor could he take any chances. “I recommend that you make a formal announcement, clarifying that we are simply following Starfleet protocol as is standard in any charges of this nature, and that no one should make ‘any’ assumptions as to their guilt…that they could…be the victim of misunderstandings or foul play,” he stated, hoping to ease the uproar some of the crew would have at hearing that there were gays on board. “I mean, Captain, it’s not like things like that have not happened before…” he added, hoping to plant the seed of doubt from the get go. 

Janeway gave a small grin, her eyes narrowed, “Me thinks you’ve already decided what role you want in this matter,” she replied knowingly. “Very well, Counsel, see to your clients,” she confirmed. 

“May I ask who you will appoint prosecution?” he inquired. “Tuvok is the investigating officer…”

“But he is the only one among the senior staff capable of handling such a task. None of the other department heads have the background for the task, and I am sure that we can trust Tuvok to share ‘all’ findings with you…yes?” 

Chakotay sat there a moment and thought about it. It would be difficult arguing the findings with the prosecutor when he was the investigator, but realizing that if he pushed it, she would have to take the next officer in the chain of Command, and technically that being Tom… “I agree.” 

“Good,” she sighed. “You do know, gentlemen that we’re opening a can of worms here, don’t you?” she asked off handedly. 

Tuvok only lifted his brow and replied, “Indeed.”

Chakotay still had mixed feelings about her in this matter, but he knew she was right. “It was bound to happen,” was all he said as he stood up. “If you excuse me, I will speak to the Ensigns, I happen to know they are quite upset about all this,” he stated evenly and exited. He would have no choice but to hope that Janeway and Tuvok were going to play by the rules, otherwise… he didn’t want to think about it, life on board Voyager was going to be hell as it was without adding more to the list. 

**********

Tom was disappointed that his evening of hot lovemaking with his sexy bronze panther was cancelled due to unexpected duty. Sure he understood that Chakotay was first officer, but damn, it wasn’t like they could simply make it up later, and he so badly wanted to get his hands on that man! 

He went to Sandrines to play some pool, hoping against hope that Chakotay would call under the guise of working on a report he had really filed days ago, and on time. Spotting Harry, he engaged him in a few games, scoring some rations, nothing much, the man was too much of mark and since in a way he was a friend, Tom never went hard on him; unless he needed the rations badly. 

He spotted B’Elanna enter and after years of knowing the woman, he could tell, she was upset. He sundered up to her, as per their agreement of so called boyfriend and girlfriend, placed a kissed her on the cheek and a chaste one on her lips, “Are you okay?” he asked quietly. 

“No, and we need to talk…now,” she insisted even quieter. 

Making it look good, he wrapped his arm around her, and placed the cue stick down, “Duty calls, Harry” He grinned, purposely giving off the wrong signal as to why they were leaving in such a hurry and exited the holodeck remaining silent and arm in arm till they were in her quarters.

“What’s the matter?” Tom inquired once the doors closed. 

“Obviously word has not gotten out yet, but by tomorrow it’ll be all over the ship,” she stated, as she paced with worry. 

“What?” he asked again.

“They arrested Allen and Tem,” she stated in a near panic voice. 

“How do you know….I mean it could be for other…”

“No, Joe came to me, thinking he could confide in me. He saw them kissing, Tom. He filed the charges and they were arrested just a few minutes ago,” she hissed, her fear taking over. 

“Shhh,” Tom said as he wrapped her in his arms and caressed her back. “It may not be as bad as we think…”

“Bad…bad? Fuck, Tom, think what’s going to happen…to them…to our friends because of suddenly now paranoid assholes who are going to jump to conclusions for any little reason…Tom, I told you, I saw this happen before in the Academy…being a small ship…” 

“B’el, relax and have a bit of faith in our command staff,” he soothed, trying to keep her emotions in check, though some of his own was starting to boil up. //No wonder Chakotay took off like that…shit…Cha, what must he be going through and…// Tom’s mind clicked in, //Oh shit…baby, what are you going to do?// he feared, for he knew how Chakotay wanted to bring this matter into the public eye and seeing that circumstance just landed him the opportunity… “Oh, damn,’’ he groaned softly. 

“I know, tell me about it,” she mumbled in his shoulder. “And as for command staff…” she pushed away from Tom, “Look at who we have. By the book Janeway, Regulations Tuvok and Mr. Straight and narrow Chakotay,” she huffed. 

Tom had to snort at the last part, //The only thing straight and narrow on that beautiful body is his tight passage// he mused. 

“This is not funny,” she growled. 

“I’m sorry, and you’re right,” Tom replied pulling his act together. “We need to let everyone know to keep a low profile for a while.”

“I’ve passed on that message already, but…damn it Tom, what are we going to do? What are Allen and Gerron going to do?” 

“I’m afraid there really is nothing we can do at the moment, but wait and see. Most likely formal charges will be made, thus Janeway will have to preside over them, leaving Tuvok and Chakotay to defend or prosecute,” he stated, knowing the regs on this matter by heart. 

“Any way we might be able to sway Chakotay to defend them,” she mumbled as she gnawed on her thumb. “I mean, he may be straight and narrow, but if his sense of duty were able to over see…errr,” she growled. “If he prosecutes their dead men, if he doesn’t give his all in defending them…their dead men,” she snapped. 

“What makes you think he would do anything less then his best in defending them, regardless of his ‘preference’” Tom challenged, wishing he could tell her, she could relax, he was in this sinking boat too, but he would never betray a confidence, especially his Tay’s. 

B’Elanna slumped to the couch, “You’re right, he’d do his best, regardless of how he feels, it’s just that, well…”

“Well?”

“Tom, a person’s best is not always what it could be if they are against those they are defending…that’s all. Chakotay’s people are not exactly in favor of Gays, Lesbians, or bisexuals…”

“B’Elanna, what good is it going to do any of us freak out?” Tom inquires. “As I said, there is little we can do at the moment, but wait and see. Then…after we get a clear picture of what’s going on…we meet, plan if we can…”

“And do what?”

“I don’t know…yet.” Tom walked over to her and brushed some of her hair back behind her ear, “You going to be okay?” 

“Yeah,” she stated, and then looked up at him, “How come you’re so damn cool about all this? In fact…” she recalled what she had wanted to speak to him about, having noticed how Tom was more chipper than usual, before all this hit the fan, “How come you’ve been in such a good mood for the past few weeks?” 

Tom sat down next to her, “First of all, I’m not cool about this, but getting bent out of shape is not going to help is it?” he watched her shake her head no. “As for the other question…” he let his words hang in the air, as his face gave off a soft glow, and a smile, “absolutely no reason at all,” he replied. 

“You bastard, who is it?” she demanded to know, though she looked happy for Tom. 

“Sorry, can’t tell you,” he stated warmly, but sincerely. 

B’Elanna’s eyes grew wide, “You mean…it’s not one of the group?” The astonishment was all over her face. “I can’t believe that there is someone else…” 

“B’El, it is a foolish notion to think we know every gay or bi person on this ship,” Tom stated, not really wanting her to move into the ‘lets investigate this with twenty questions till I can figure it out mode. “I’ve got to go, pass some of the word myself,” he stated as he stood up. “I’ll get word back to you if I hear anything, okay?”

“Alright.” 

Tom moved to the door, “Don’t discuss this with anyone outside of the group, if others are about, let them talk…you know the drill, oh and…don’t discuss anything near your work stations,” he added. 

“Why?” 

“Let’s just say I got wind that some of them are being monitored, but for other reasons, and leave it at that,” he stated, then left. He had a few people to protect and things to find out, and he knew who had the word he needed and his door code. 

*****End of Part Eight*****

It was late even for him as he entered his quarters and moved straight to the bedroom. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed everything had been cleaned up and put back in their place. “Tom?” he called out softly and heard a murmur from the living room. “Computer lights, twenty percent,” he ordered and turned to see Tom was resting on his couch. “Are you okay?” he asked with concern as he moved to sit next to the sleepy man that now was sitting up. 

“I should be asking you that,” Tom replied as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. “I heard about the arrest…”

“Don’t tell me it’s already all over the ship?” he asked, fearing it was the truth.

“No, but word is out, and thankfully those who need to know…know to keep low till this blows over. Speaking of which?” he asked, his eyes inquiring more than his words. 

Chakotay sat back against the couch and was glad that Tom snuggled up to him, he needed the comfort. “It’s not good, Tom. It’s an open and shut case, technically speaking. Joe saw them kissing in the lounge and then filed charges. His reputation is impeccable, especially verses two young men who could be easily classified as ‘treading forbidden waters’,” he sighed. “Normally they would be formally reprimanded, sent to different stations and placed into telepathic counseling to determine if it was only a one time thing or not. If not, they would be discharged, dishonorably, if yes, they would be counseled till the cows came home then given a lousy assignment for the next two years, with eyes everywhere till it was proven that it really was a one time thing…here…I don’t know…” 

Tom rubbed his shoulder, seeing the stress and the desire to protect them, “What do you think Janeway will do?” 

“I don’t know. It’s not like she can separate them forever unless she confines them to quarters or the brig for the next seventy five years,” he growled, with frustration. “Damn it, I can’t even maneuver a possible doubt here…why…” he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the sofa. “This sucks, Tom.” 

Tom snuggle a bit closer, feeling the resistance in the man’s body, but not going to let it win, and wraps his arms around him tighter and lays his head on his shoulder. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Just…just how far would you be willing to go to prove them…innocent?” 

This struck Chakotay as an odd question, considering what he had just told him, “What do you mean, how far? How can I do anything?”

“Chakotay, I want you to know I’ll abide by what you want to do here, but hear me out first, please,” Tom asked, as he shifted back so their eyes could meet. “What happens to them will affect a lot of people, a lot more than you may even suspect. The fear, the paranoia, the accusations based on misunderstandings…”

“I know this…”

“I know you do, but…but if they are proven innocent…”

“Even by some manipulative trick that it can be done,” Chakotay stated, knowing Tom’s devious mind, loving it some times, “It won’t change things. Every thing you’ve just mentioned is already in the works and will remain so, and those people you want to protect will have to bury their lives for some time to come, and believe me, doing so for a year almost killed me, I don’t know how they or anyone could handle longer. No, tricks won’t help here, Tom, though I’m not sure what will…if only…” he sighed again, the exhaustion clear on his face, as his free hand reached up and rubbed his cheek to focus. 

“If only what?” 

“If only I had some people I could trust in this matter,” he replied wishfully. “I mean, people I knew I could count on to watch over them while I investigate, and others to help out…a team really. Under other circumstance I’d gather my people and do my own investigation, to see if this really was cut and dry as it seemed.”

“Why?”

He looked at Tom as if why should be obvious, “Why?”

“Yeah, why would you investigate it if it really is ‘cut and dry’ as you said it looked,” he inquired, “Would you really do that all the time?”

“Yes, simply because one never knows if that is the case. I learned that little lesson in tactical, ‘never assume anything is what it seems till you’ve investigate first’,” he quoted. “Besides, even though I haven’t spoken with them, because the brig is wired…”

“They’re monitoring the brig, out side normal parameters?”

“Yes, but I made sure they were in separate cells and left standing orders for no one, including the Captain to speak with them unless I am present. I also turned off the personal logs, didn’t want them incriminating themselves, just in case…I had a case,” he stated. “But like I said, even if I didn’t talk to them yet…”

“What?” Tom asked, seeing a strange look in his love’s eye. 

“It might simply be wishful thinking, but…it doesn’t feel right,” he replied, his mind trying to grasp the straws as to why he felt this way. “I mean…” he looked at Tom. “I don’t want you to break any confidences here, but if you can, have they….been together for a while?” 

Tom thought about it, and saw that perhaps his reply might help his friends, and he did trust Chakotay, “yes, over a year now, why?”

“Then don’t you think they would be just as paranoid as we were today? I mean, why didn’t they lock the door, were they really that caught up in themselves, or that foolish? And even more so, why did Joe go to the observation lounge in the first place…I…”

“Are you saying it was a set up?”

“I…I don’t know what I’m saying, Tom. Only that my mind is shifting through a million possibilities and wants to investigate each one of them, but I don’t have time for that and prepare the case, since Janeway wants to get this going ASAP,” he huffed in frustration and a touch of defeat. 

Tom sat there looking as his love rest his eyes, knowing from experience that Chakotay’s gut feelings usually had merit; it was one of the many reasons they were all still here today. His brilliant strategies seemingly coming out of nowhere saved their bacon on countless of times, and there was no mistaking the fact that this man operated on a different level than most; hell he could even beat Tuvok at his Kowtow game, and the Vulcan has played it for almost a hundred years. If Chakotay said something was not right, then perhaps… “What if I can get you that team?” he finally said, feeling that this was the right course of action to take. 

Chakotay’s eyes snapped opened and simply looked at him. 

“What if I can get you that team of people you can trust to help you investigate this. I told you before you were not along, and we all have something to lose in this matter…”

Chakotay shifted upward and looked at him, “go on,” he encouraged, some hope sparking in his eyes. 

“You’d have to be willing to ‘come out of the closet’, with them anyway. I mean, that is what will bind us together, the fact that we’ll either sink or swim together…right?” 

Chakotay thought about this a moment, then nodded, “Your right,” he smiled softly, glad Tom was on his side in this matter. “Though I care for my privacy, I can’t do this alone, and you’re right, we’ll either sink or swim together,” he added. “Okay, Tom. I trust you to handle it, but we’ll have to meet soon, my prep time is limited, since Janeway thinks this is an open and shut case as I said before.”

“Don’t worry, Baby, I can get a meeting set up by lunch tomorrow. I’ll be in touch with you and give you the particulars, okay?” 

For the first time since this mess began, Chakotay was feeling a bit of hope, the faith he had in Tom was intensifying his belief that somehow, things really would be okay…somehow. “Okay.” 

Tom moved in and kissed his love softly, caressing his cheek, with his fingers, then his lips, as he moved back, letting their eyes meet, “I’d love to stay and make out with you, but…duty calls,” he whispered softly, then forced himself out of this love’s arms. “I’ll be in touch before lunch time, I promise,” he stated as he moved to the door. 

“Tom…”

Tom stopped to see Chakotay staring at him, his eyes all a glow with affection. “Sweet dreams, baby,” he whispered, then left before he wouldn’t be able to do so. 

Chakotay watched the doors closed, and leaned on one hand, elbow to the back of the sofa, the other hand fondling his necklace, “I’d think you’d approve of him, Erron, I really do,” he muttered to himself, his face all a glow, till a yawn over took him, and he knew it was time for bed. A sleepy mind made for mistakes and he had no room for those now, so pushed himself up and headed to get some rest. 

***********

“This is really stupid, Paris,” someone hissed. 

“Hey, I ‘know’ what I’m doing, and I’m telling you, this isn’t stupid, but necessary,” Tom insisted as he straddled the weight lifting bench, dressed like anyone would be if they were going to be working out, shorts and a T-shirt. “The door code is programmed for selective people only, and if you still have any worries, if someone comes in that you don’t’ know and I don’t kiss them senseless, they aren’t the one,” he teased, trying to relax his current group of nervous friends. 

“Tom as much as I would like to meet this dream boat of yours,” B’Elanna smirks, as she straddles the bench too, but behind him, she also dressed like she’s going to be doing a light workout, “I don’t think now is the best time…” 

The door chimed, letting everyone know someone was going to be entering the room soon. Tom saw everyone instinctually start working out, just in case, for code or no codes, accidents occurred, and officers were not locked out. Tom of course knew this, but he also knew that only senior staff would or could override his codes, but he understood their concerns, especially now. He also spoke with Chakotay and he informed him that this type of program with a mixed group would not be monitored, and Tom verified, they were not being watched. Chakotay was to come in, and Tom would let him know if it was all clear, by doing just what he said, he’d kiss the man…the senseless part was an addition he just thought of. 

Tom watched Chakotay walk in, knowing the man could not change for this meeting; he was going to be ‘on duty’ for some times to come, and uniform was his standard dress till then. He also saw many of the eyes of those in the room roll in their heads, mostly from fear of discovery, even if they were not doing anything wrong. He felt B’Elanna shift into her act, by rubbing his shoulders as a girlfriend would do, just in case. Tom let everyone get a sense of everyone else, even if it was uncomfortable as his love approached him, looking at his pad, then nodding it was clear. 

Tom pulled away from B’Elanna and before anyone knew what was next, had Chakotay in such a tight lip lock that even air didn’t have room to move. The sounds in the room varied from gasps, shocked curses, and a deep moan from Chakotay, as his arms wrapped tightly around Tom, pulling him in even closer. 

“No fucking way!” B’Elanna gasped in shock. 

Her voice snapped Chakotay and Tom out of their kiss, as the two men moved back so they could breathe, though Tom didn’t let go of Chakotay, nor he of Tom, who simply shifted in his arms, and leaned back against his strong chest, a huge shit-eating-grin upon his face. “I do believe we all know everyone,” he teased, as his way of getting things started. 

“Apparently not,” Ken Dalby replied astonished. 

Chakotay leaned down and half buried his face in Tom’s hair, and the young man could feel he was feeling bashful about this. “Look, we can go into particulars later, but there is another reason we’re here today, besides meeting my current…” Tom stumbled here, for he didn’t want to make any presumption on Chakotay, but was unsure what to say.

“Boyfriend,” Chakotay replied for him, knowing what Tom was having trouble with and he though it was as good a time as any to let him know, they were going out together, as far as he was concerned. 

Tom looked up at him, his eyes a glow, “Boyfriend,” he stated again, grateful for the understanding and the knowing of their relationship. Then he got back to the matter at hand, “But because Chakotay is handing Allen’s and Tem’s defense and needs help…our help, people he can trust…and that’s us,” he smirked. 

“Look,” Chakotay said, knowing his ‘outting’ was a shock to many, hell it was to him too. “I know some of you may feel…intimidated about me and my position, but I give you my word, I’m just as much in this as any of you, perhaps even more so,” he said, subconsciously rubbing Tom’s arm. “But we’re in a crisis here, and I’m beginning to think it may just be a bit more than a so called, open and closed case of…excuse me for saying, ‘immoral behavior’, he stated firmly. “I need people I can count on to get me information quickly and discreetly as possible, and I don’t have a lot of time either, the Captain wants this matter up and moving as of tomorrow…will you help me?” he asked as his eyes roamed over the many faces of Maquis and Fleet alike, though to be honest, it was the fleeters that surprised him more, though some of the Maquis did too. 

Chakotay would never have suspected Ken Dalby, or young Geron Tem, much less Donna Henley who was hanging very closely on B’Elanna Torres. Then there was Brian Wilks, who worked in security, Chakotay felt for him, now knowing how difficult it must have been for him yesterday to arrest Allen Marcus and Gerron. There were also the Delaney sisters, but somehow they didn’t surprise him much, they always struck him as very open. The biggest fleet shocker was Sam wilderman, since she was married and had a little girl, but then Chakotay realized he was being just as foolish in judging them now as he had been before and let it all go, and readjusted his mind into seeing good people he could trust to help him get to the bottom of this, that and the fact that he really wasn’t alone anymore. 

The group murmured a little, then Ken turned to Chakotay, “What do you need, Commander?” he asked, giving his former Captain and friend a wink, pleased by the blush it afforded Chakotay. 

“Besides time…information,” he replied as he moved farther in the room, moving a workout bench over so he could sit down. “I’ve been giving this some thought, and I’ve come to believe what I first thought was two separate matters, may not be,” he added.

“How’s that?” Sam inquired. 

“First off, I’ve come to take note that there is a heavy amount of monitoring going on, but the locations do not suggest as I first thought, to catching someone in the act…not of being intimate anyway,” he clarified.

“Just how much monitoring is going on?” Wilks asked. 

“A lot. Mostly key stations, and half the Maquis work stations, some holo programs, me…but we’re okay now,” he stated, seeing some eyes go wide, “The brig, even outside of normal means. Plus they have increased in frequencies, especially work stations and other areas that do not normally frequent people.”

“Why do you think this has anything to do with Gerron and Marcus?” Megan inquired, her arm tightly intertwined with her sisters. 

“At first I didn’t, but then as I thought about it, a few questions popped in my head. One, what was Joe doing going to an observation lounge that one, is not on his quarters level or near engineering? Two, if the guys have been dating as long as I’ve been told, and knowing my own ingrained fear of being caught, they would have locked the door before even attempting to touch each other much less kiss, and having just spoke to them…privately,” he said, looking at Tom, letting his eyes show that doing so was not as easy a task as one would have thought. “They said they did lock it, but according to Tuvok’s investigation, Joe ‘did not’ place in any code or override to unlock the door, he just went right in. 

“Those are some good questions, Commander, but what did Joe say?” B’Elanna inquired, her mind shifting through all this information too. 

“I haven’t had the chance to speak to him yet, but according to the report, he was ‘simply taking a walk’ when he decided to go to the lounge and he walked in on them. Perhaps it is just as simple as that, but…”

“Forgive me, Commander, but what does any of this matter?” Donna asked, her body language showing she was very worried about matters and not really caring about what he was saying. “I mean no disrespect, but so what if it was a set up…how will this help Gerron and Allen?” 

“She’s right, Tay,” Tom whispered. “How will this help them?” 

Chakotay gave a slight nod, and let out a slow breath, “I don’t know…yet. But given some time and a full scope of what really is going on, on this ship, perhaps I may find away…I…I don’t know,” he said quietly. Then he looked up at them, “But my gut is telling me there is more going on here, and who knows, if I can sway the focus here…”

“Janeway may just forgo something minor to get to the heart of something more,” Tom finished for him, believing he had the link to what Tay was saying. 

“Exactly,” he replied thankfully, hugging Tom who sat with him. “It’s a long shot, I know, but what else can we do? Unless there is a lot more to our little band than this, we’re not in exactly any position to take over the ship,” he teased, trying to raise spirits here. 

“There are more, but this is the core group,” Tom clarified for Chakotay. “We have others and friend that just couldn’t be here. I’ve spoken to most of them, and they’ve told me to trust my judgment in revealing their identity, and of course, I trust you, so, I’ll tell you later who they are, but your still right, we’d never be that large, besides, I don’t think that would be a very good idea anyway,” he laughed, knowing Chakotay was not serious. 

“Count me in,” Sam stated.

“Us too,” Megan and Jenny chimed in, along with Wilks. 

“We’re with you,” Ken and B’Elanna nodded, as did Donna, but still hesitant on her part. 

Chakotay seeing everyone agreed to help, got down to business, of organizing and deploying his troops. First step…buying more time. 

********

“What do you mean he’s sick?” Janeway demanded of the EMH just before they were about to begin their morning briefing. 

“Just what I said, Captain. Gerron Tem is sick, he has Norox, a Bajoran version of the Chicken pox.”

“I thought you scanned him for such things when he first boarded,” Janeway snipped, not pleased at hearing this. 

“I scanned him, yes, but that wouldn’t tell me if he was or wasn’t going to get it, Captain. Apparently the stress of this…situation, has taken its toll on his immune system and he has become ill. Sure enough to say, he is in no condition to stand trial.”

Janeway rolled her eyes, “for how long?” 

“If his case is typical, a week to ten days…”

“A week, doctor, this situation is serious, letting it simmer…”

“Is out of my hands, Captain, regulations state…”

“I know what regulations state,” she snapped again, this time enough to silence him. She then let out a heavy sigh as she leaned back in her chair, gulping her coffee. “This is just great,” she muttered. 

Tom sat quietly, as did B’Elanna, but he felt awful. He didn’t relish the idea of making one of them ill, much less Gerron, but Norox was the only thing he could think of that A) they had access too on board to infect him with and B) would only make him miserable not fatal. He was sure, B’Elanna felt bad about manipulating the EMH not to notice the replication of the virus, as was Wilks who kept the others in security busy while Chakotay spoke to him and gave him the shot…but as Chakotay explained it was all necessary. 

“Can we proceed just with Ensign Marcus?” she inquired. 

“Regulations state that since both men have been charged formally as one, they must stand trial as one,” Tuvok replied evenly. 

“Why even bother with a trial, if they’re guilty…” Harry started to say, but was cut off by Chakotay. 

“Didn’t you even listen to the announcement…Ensign? The trial is not a formality; it is regulations in determining whether or not they are indeed guilty. You make poor judgment, Ensign, making assumptions based on next to nothing but circumstances, unless you know something we don’t,” he growled. 

“Commander,” Janeway stated evenly, attempting to keep the head of her Operations officer intact. “Harry, why would you say such a thing?” she inquired a lot calmer than the first officer had responded. 

“If there is enough evidence to call for a trial, then they are guilty, why waste time, those people…”

“Are still human beings that have rights,” Chakotay snapped. 

“If you say so,” Harry muttered under his breath. 

Chakotay jumped to his feet, “Care to say that to my face?” he growled. 

Tom had to hold the rim of his chair to keep from jumping up to calm Chakotay or smacking Harry, for this was getting out of hand. He saw one chance to defuse this and went for it, “Commander, I know you take your job of defender seriously, but don’t you think beating Harry up is taking it just a bit far?” he asked in his cocky tone, that made it sound very much a joke, in hopes it would not only sooth his Tay, but point out he was overstepping here. 

Chakotay snapped his eyes at Tom, whose smile and warm eyes shot passed his anger, as his words penetrated. He was overreacting here, and it could and most likely would bring about suspicions on his behalf. He realized he would have to do some fancy verbal tap dancing if he was going to straighten this mess up. He gave a crooked grin at Tom, then a less angry one at Harry. “I apologize for over reacting, but regardless of personal beliefs, ‘those people’ as you put it, are a part of our family and have been for over three years. If nothing else, they have proven to be not only good officers, but good people, and that regardless of ‘old notions’ they have served all of us well,” he stated as he took a seat. He then looked at Janeway, “I know regulations exist for a reason, and perhaps if we’ve never come to the Delta, I may not have come to understand this, but we have and I do. For it was not that long ago a woman could not be Captain of a starship, and not that long ago aliens could not serve on Starships, and going back farther, women could not serve at all, before that, service was restricted to race, usually European. Yes, Regulations exist for a reason, and I understand them, but as I have come to understand out here…it doesn’t mean they are correct in their existence,” he finally stated, hoping his fine words didn’t land on deaf ears or land him in more hot water. He sat back and observed…everyone. 

“Your apology is accepted, Commander, however, you may want to reign in your temper before you pounce on anyone,” she replied, her aura light and understanding, making Chakotay once more wonder about her and her position on things and some of the actions he knew was going on. “Ensign, though I may not condone the Commander’s reactions, I do condone his reasoning. Gerron Tem and Allen Marcus are apart of this crew, and as long as I’m Captain, they are entitled to the same rights and privileges just like anyone else. The charges against them are serious, yes, but that is why we are investigating them and holding this trial, to clarify the matter. Jumping to conclusions on either front is a foolish thing, regardless if it is about this case or any other matter at hand, do I make myself clear?” she inquired, letting him know she too was not pleased by his response. 

“Yes, Captain. I…apologize, Commander,” Harry replied, showing only a tad of guilt; most likely for being heard than anything more. 

Chakotay already knew B’Elanna and Tom’s reaction, the EMH…well, he could be swayed to whoever programmed him. Tuvok…he seemed indifferent to the matter that alone made him ponder him closer as the meeting progressed. Since Gerron was ill there could be no trial, so it would have to wait till he was well enough to begin. In the mean time, Allen would be held in security, while Gerron recovered in a secure section of sickbay. This would give Chakotay time to find out more information and move on to his next move…one Tom or anyone else in the group didn’t know of yet, that of finding out who would be open and those dead set against same sex relationships. He knew it was dangerous to take this to this level, but he couldn’t help it. It was like a red flag and he was a helpless bull drawn to it. People were suffering under the guise of regulations…stupid ones at that as his little impromptu speech had shown, and perhaps it was his own words that swayed him, but this was his next cause, and he wouldn’t rest till it was no longer a sword hanging over everyone’s head; he only hoped that no one else got hurt in the effort. 

****End of Part Nine****

“Tea?” Janeway asked as she moved to gather another cup of coffee. 

“Please,” Chakotay replied, “though have you ever thought of switching to decaf?” he teased, for this would make her third cup and the morning was not even over, having just left the briefing moments ago. 

He waited till she handed him his drink and got settled in her chair before speaking, knowing his question was a loaded one. “Worse case scenario, Kathryn, what if…they are found guilty, what will happen?” he asked, no longer able to let it hang as an unspoken subject, he had to know. 

“Oh, you don’t ask the easy one’s this morning do you,” she chuckled, but her face and eyes were far from happy. Then the seriousness and the weight of this burden crossed her face, “I’m not really sure, Chakotay. I haven’t been able to sleep since this began not even thirty hours ago…I…” she sighed heavily. 

“I know what regulations say,” he started, trying to keep this communication going. “But…”

“We’re far from Starfleet, I know…I know. I also know I can’t order them apart, much less give them the counseling they would need or even discharge them…I…” she wiped her eyes harshly, as if by doing so, it would all be gone from her once they were opened again, but it didn’t help as she looked at Chakotay intensely. “I may have to put them off…I don’t want to…”

“What?” 

“Chakotay, what else can I do? Put them in the brig for seventy years? If I leave them as civilians on board what will the rest of the crew think?,” she asked, her eyes seeking his in hopes of some sage advice. 

“How about something radical…like…suspend the regulations on the grounds that this ‘is’ the Delta, and we’ve already agreed that as a whole we have to adapt to our new circumstances,” he suggested, feeling her out on this matter. 

She barked a small laugh, “Oh sure, Chakotay, why don’t I toss all the regulations out the window while am at it,” she replied. 

“I wasn’t suggesting you do that, only the ones that are stupid, narrow minded, and hurt people…your crew…your family,” he replied evenly. 

“If only this didn’t happen now, I probably could,” she murmured, so low that Chakotay barely heard it. 

“What was that?” he asked, hoping to clarify that this was what she had said. 

“Nothing,” she stated, as she sat up straight and looked at him. “You have a difficult job, but I’m ‘hoping’ you’ll be able to prove this is a…misunderstanding,” she stressed, her eyes serious. “If not, I may have to put them off at the next appropriate stop,” she added, her voice even, her eyes pleading this not to happen. 

“I will…do what I can,” he replied, placing his cup down on her desk. “If you excuse me, I still have some work to do, even if the trial has been postponed.

“Of course,” she nodded, “And Commander,” she said as he reached her door, and then looked back at her, “Good luck.” 

***********

In one way it looked perfectly normal in the mess hall, people gathered around tables chatting, eating, but only those who took any real time to analyze it would have found the tiny group in the far corner suspicious, for seeing Chakotay, Tom, Megan and Jenny Delaney, and B’Elanna along with Ken Dalby, was far from typical, but as it was, no one noticed. 

Neelix brought them all drinks, and gave Tom the okay nod, since he was one of their strong supporters, though floored about finding out about Chakotay. By his subtle gesture, the group knew no one took notice of their little meeting; Chakotay’s idea of meeting under their noses, it appealed to some…those who were here anyway. 

“We have a problem,” Chakotay stated evenly as he sipped his tea, having had another meeting with Allen and Gerron and Joe Carry this time.

“What’s that?” B’Elanna inquired, for she could see the tension in her friend’s eyes. 

“I was hoping to use this case to force the issue out in the open,” Chakotay stated honestly, “But between what I sense will be the outcome…their being forced off the ship, and Allen’s near break down this afternoon…”

“We’re going to have to do something else,” Tom stated, seeing this to be the case. 

“Unfortunately…yes. I…can’t and won’t put them through this,” Chakotay admitted, knowing that the only way to protect them was to forge a lie. He didn’t like it, but he would do it, he would protect his people even from themselves. 

“Any ideas?” Megan asked with true concern. 

Chakotay looked at his lover, his eyes hoping that Tom’s wonderful mind had a few suggestions that would prompt him here, for though he could out maneuver a Vulcan, he was not always the most creative in the lying department. 

Tom saw the plea, and resisted the pull to hold his love and reassure him. All he could do was wrap his hands tighter around his glass, as his mind whirled in possibilities. Then his head snapped up, his eyes sparking, for he had an idea. “It’s a long shot, since so much time has passed but…” he looked at Megan and Jenny. “Feel like having a couple of impromptu boyfriends?” he asked. 

Megan looked at Jenny, their silent communication clear, then Jenny gave a nod, and Megan looked back at Tom, “Okay we’ll do it.” 

“I don’t mean to be a downer here,” Ken interjected, “but it’s almost been two full days, since the arrest and the announcement…”

“Believability,” Chakotay stated for them all, knowing this was the base of Ken’s objection. 

Tom nodded in understanding, his mind still sparking as he stared at Jenny and Megan, then a tiny blush crossed his face as did a smirk, “How willing would you guys normally be about admitting a…group session,” he inquired, knowing the girls understood his question just fine, though the others around the table were slow to catch on. 

Jenny’s eyes bugged and Megan blushed, and then looked at each other, and then back to Tom who nodded that he had his answer. 

“There you go, Tay,” Tom smiled, pleased with himself. 

“Okay, say the girls do come forward…now, even under the circumstances we’ve constructed, what about Joe?” Ken inquired as the self appointed devil’s advocate of the group. 

“Oh yeah,” most of them said in defeat. 

“I can help there,” Chakotay stated, his mind taking Tom’s idea and running with it. “I spoke to Joe and after a…long conversation, he admitted that he really was going there because he got a message to meet Sue, who of course did not send it, but Joe didn’t know this…at the time.” 

“It was a set up,” B’Elanna growled. 

“Okay…so how does this help?” Ken inquired. 

Chakotay sat back, a dark wicked, mischievous smile, one not seen since his Maquis days, crossed his face. “Trust me,” he purred. 

************

“I…I can’t believe it,” Janeway said, shaking her head, numb from the realization of what she was hearing. 

“I know, but you have the evidence and the testimonies,” Chakotay stated, as Tuvok gave a nod of concurring this. 

“Who…who would have gone to such…” she was flabbergasted, “To such extremes…just…just to…”

“Set someone up?” Chakotay finished for her. “I don’t know, but I will,” he promised, even if that person might never ever face Janeway depending on who it was and how much they knew, plus he didn’t want anyone knowing of their own deception in this matter. 

“The evidence is clear, between the false message sent to Lieutenant Carry, the alibis of the Delaney sisters, that collaborate with the young men’s…hesitant testimonies of their actual locations, the holo emitters we located and the tampering of the Computer to falsify their locations, it is clear they were set up to be falsely accused; as to why is still unknown as is to who has done this.” 

“I want you both to find out who did this, gentlemen. This kind of behavior will ‘not’ be tolerated…ever,” she growled, angry for sure at being used in some one’s game. “Do what you have too, I want this matter closed as soon as possible,” she ordered. 

“Of course, Captain,” Tuvok replied. Then having been cued his dismissal, departed leaving Janeway and the Commander to talk. 

Chakotay took a seat, this next part was going to be…tricky He was unsure if he should bring this up know, but the timing made sense. “Captain, I’d like to discuss another matter with you, if I may,” he inquired. 

“Of course, Commander,” she stated, tossing the data pad down on her desk with disgust. 

“While I was investigating this matter, I…I came across a…few things,” he stated evenly, though with enough emphasize that this was a delicate matter. 

She shifted forward in her chair and looked at him sincerely, “What?” 

“I discovered that there has been a lot of…monitoring…outside of normal security measures…” he started to say, and stopped by the slight widening of her eyes; he was not suppose to know this…her reaction on this was clear. “May I ask…why and more importantly, why I was ‘not’ informed?” 

Though she covered it well for the most part, Chakotay knew she was bracing her self for this conversation, one she was not ready to have, but circumstances being as they were, she was going to have too. “Do you recall Jonas?” she asked evenly. 

Chakotay shifted back in his chair, his eyes narrowing, “Are you saying there is another spy and once more declined to keep me in the loop?” he asked, jumping to the heart of this matter, one he still smarted over. 

“Yes and no,” she replied, her eyes hardening, going into full Captain Mode. “Yes, there is a possible spy, for we have found some unusual transmissions flittering around the ship in regards to ship technology, some even being bounced off the ship, but whether it is being bounced to another location on the ship or to another location, we have not been able to determine,” she said, her eyes piercing him as she spoke. 

“Then why was ‘I’ not informed,” he growled, trying to keep his own temper in check. 

“Because, on several of these random occurrences, we discovered ‘your’ transponder code and bio signature that resembled yours at one of the transmitter sites, where you were ‘not’ suppose to have been at that day,” she stated flatly, daring him to react to this bit of information, for it would be his reactions that would determine what happened next. 

“What?” Chakotay choked, for he was shocked to no end to hear this. “I…I can’t believe…”

“I know it sounds absurd,” she interjected, her guard somewhat rested at his reaction. 

“I’ll tell you what is absurd,” Chakotay snapped, “The fact that you didn’t come to me at once with this information and asking me straight out. I thought we had an understanding between us, a…trust,” he growled, the hurt and anger showing. “Instead, you spy on me…” he stood up, his emotions were getting to him, and this was not the best way to proceed here. He moved to the port view and covered his eyes with his left hand, his right resting on his hip, trying to center himself, focus on why this matter was brought up. “Well, since you’re bringing this up to me…now,” he hissed over his shoulder, “Does that mean you’ve come to believe I’m innocent or was it simply because I brought it up?” he asked, then turned to see it was the latter by the look on Janeway’s face. “Great,” he sneered as he turned back to the window. 

“I’m sorry, Chakotay,” she stared to say as she rose. 

“With all due respect…Kathryn, but bullshit,” he growled, as he looked at her again. “If you were sorry, you would have approached me…just how long?” But he knew how long, he found out for himself, that he had been monitored at his workstation and office from the beginning, what he really wanted to know was how long this latest bit of deceit had been playing out around him. 

“Two months,” she stated honestly. 

Chakotay wrapped his arms around himself, for though he was prepared to forgo the fact that he had not been informed bit for the sake of getting to the heart of this matter, he was not prepared to know he was suspect number one for two months. //Had I not been as aware as I have been…fuck!// he growled to himself, glad he had become paranoid and protected his quarters from their snooping. He turned to her and walked toward her, stopping three feet away, “This is pure bullshit,” he growled, “Now tell me what’s really going on,” he demanded, for no matter what, he could not accept this…a month perhaps, but two…no way.

“Commander, I’m…”

“Lying and I want to know why?” 

Janeway eyed her first officer, her eyes showing she was in the midst of making a crucial decision. When it was made she moved to a draw in her desk that was code locked and pulled out a pad and handed it to him, “Read it,” he ordered. 

He took the pad and opened it and started reading, by the time he finished he was sitting on the couch, his mouth opened wide in disbelief. “Surely you don’t…” he stuttered, then looked at her, “But the EMH could have…”

“With out tipping you off that this was the case or drugging you and submitting you to a full physical…no, the EMH was not able to tell, and as you read, the evidence is…conflicting at best, so no, I could not come to you, not till I knew more one way or another, and I was hoping that with all the chaos…” 

Chakotay’s head snapped up, “You were going to use the trail as a cover, hoping that…I…” he blanked, this was too surreal. “I can tell you for a fact that it’s not true, I am ‘me’,” he stated with conviction, “and I am more than willing to submit to any…physical,” he added flatly. 

“Chakotay, you know what will happen if he discovers…”

“I’m me, Kathryn,” he insisted. “Plus, from what you have here, if I was not me, it would have to be from the beginning, now wouldn’t it. Plus, don’t you think ‘I’ would know if I was sending messages…to anyone?” he asked, once again the absurdity of it all overwhelming him as he tossed the pad at her and started to leave.

“Where you going?” 

“Sickbay, the only way to put this crap to rest is there…right?” 

“Are you sure…?”

This question froze him in his tracks. “What do you mean, am I sure?” he asked puzzled by her. 

It was slow and hesitant, but Kathryn moved toward him and gently placed a hand on his arm, and directed him to a chair, “Chakotay, from what we’ve discovered and what we’ve known of such things before coming out here to the Delta Quadrant, the fact remains, you…are the one we have served with these past three years…”

Chakotay’s eyes squinted, “Are you even listening to yourself? First you accuse me of being a spy, but not any ordinary spy…no, but a deep plant; one in which you don’t trust and now…now when the opportunity to clear this ridiculous notion up arrives, you’re asking me if I really want to? Of course I want too,” he growled. 

“But if you are discovered not to be who…”

“I ‘am’ me,” he stated again, “Not some mentally fucked up plant…got it?” 

“But the crew?” she asked, as if not hearing his words. “They could handle a lot of things, but you…” 

Chakotay’s eyes narrowed, she was not listening to him, for she was convinced that this foolish notion held too many possibilities of being true. He slowly stood up, “I’m going to sick bay,” he stated and then turned and marched out of her office, for he would put this bullshit to bed today. As for the rest of their so called ‘friendship’ and working relationship…well one thing at a time. 

***********

Whether or not it was good news or bad, the fact that B’Elanna had the EMH down for repairs when he arrived, had for stalled his impending pardon from Janeway and Tuvok’s stupidity. She told him it would be several hours till the Doc was up and running again, and being that he was in no mental mood to deal with anyone, he called the Captain, told her what was the delay and that he was taking the rest of the day off till this ‘matter’ could be put to rest once and for all; thankfully she agreed. 

He headed back to his quarters, made sure he was ‘not’ being watched, and stripped off the uniform, so tempted to rip it off as he did so. //Fucking nonsense,// he growled as he gathered up a towel and headed into the shower. His mind was still whirling from the report he read; that he could be a clone or a deep plant with DNA implantation to conceal his identity… “Bullshit” he growled as he took the soap and started scrubbing his body harshly till the tension started to wash away along with the grime of the day. 

By the time he got to washing his hair, his mind had shifted gears slightly, “Spy…perhaps, but whoever it is, was setting me up as the patsy incase their signal was detected…but why…and is there any connection to their setting up Allen and Gerron, who now whether or not they want to, have to date the Delaney sisters...// his mind sighed. 

This was just too fucking bizarre, and for this afternoon, he just didn’t want to deal with it. He needed to relax and as he finished rinsing his hair, he found his thoughts drifting away from the nightmarish world that surrounded him to his angel, Tom Paris. The thought of the silly quips his lover would make about this amused him and a small smile crossed his face, as his hands caressed the lather from the conditioner down his chest, lingering a tad on his nipples; they were getting hard just thinking of his beautiful blond. 

He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, letting the water cascade over him, as his hand moved down to his aroused member, taking it in his hand, first gently, then giving it a slight squeeze to encourage it along. “Mmm,” escaped his lips, as his mind filled his senses that it was not his hand touching him, but Tom’s delicate fingers as he moved them up and down his hard sex. His brain quickly shifted the scenario from a hand job to a blow job, for Tom had the most amazing mouth, and the very thought of his cock entering that hot moist heat, aroused him two fold; yes he liked to fuck that mouth very much as those delicate fingers gripped his hips... 

His eyes snapped open, was he hallucinating as he looked down and saw his lover doing just that. “Tom?” he croaked out in surprise. 

“Came by for lunch and saw you started without me,” Tom purred as he was naked and on his knees, his mouth kissing and licking the hard cock before him. 

Oh, this was just too fucking incredible, that Tom was here…now, as if he read his mind and… “Oh yes,” he hissed as Tom engulfed him deep. He reached down and held Tom’s head, letting his fingers twine in his damp hair, as his need grew intensely, “Suck me, baby,” he growled. Tom did so, as he released his hold on Chakotay’s hip, allowing him the freedom to fuck his mouth as he wanted, fast and furious, and Chakotay did just that, as he pumped his cock into the wet heat with abandonment, the sounds of Tom’s enjoyment, more felt in the vibration in his throat then heard, as he did so. He loved it when Tom let him do this, it drove him crazy, not only with lust, but with a bizarre sense of power…sexual power. He didn’t think of Tom as submissive in anyway, in fact, if anyone of them had to be classified as such, it would be him, since Tom fucked him most of the time, but as he rammed his cock in and out between Tom’s full sensuous lips, the very sight of him on his knees while doing so…there was no rational reason for it, it thrilled him to the core as was now demonstrated as his hips thrust harder as his seed was ripped from his body spewing itself into Tom’s anxious and eager mouth. Oh yes, he liked this…a lot! 

Before he knew it, he was now resting against the shower wall, his head on his arm, and Tom was caressing his back, placing kisses on his neck, while his slim fingers, well lathered was preparing him for Tom’s entrance; he shivered in anticipation. //Oh yes, this is what I need, // his mind replied as he relaxed into Tom’s gentle but firm touch. “Take me, Tom,” he whispered, needing to be filled by his lover. 

Tom leaned in and flicked his tongue against his love’s ear, “Is that what you want? My cock fucking your beautiful ass?” he inquired, having discovered that Chakotay liked to be talked dirty too; hell he liked it himself, but was surprised that Chakotay had little experience with it much less liked it so; again more reason that Chakotay had declined sex over the years from various women…he had never really been allowed to explore his own sexuality. Tom made a personal vow that he would help Chakotay learn all the ins and outs of making love…of course enjoying it along the way himself. He felt Chakotay shiver at his words, “If it is, you have to tell me,” he stated, for that was part of the lesson, Chakotay had to speak to get what he wanted…this time. 

“Yes,” Chakotay panted, the skilled fingers playing havoc with his prostate, having him hard all over again. “Fuck me, Tom. I want you to fuck me so fast and so hard that when you come inside me, it’ll come out my own cock,” he growled in need. 

//Damn he’s getting good at this,// Tom thought as he shivered at Chakotay’s response and the deep growl that no other lover he ever had possessed. He removed his fingers and punched his penis in hard, just the way they both liked it and wanted it at the moment, shoving it all the way in. “Oh baby, you feel so fucking good,” he purred when he was fully sheathed. 

“Fuck me, Tom, please,” Chakotay begged, no longer able to resist. 

Tom took Chakotay’s hands and moved them up over his head, flat against the wall, as he also placed Chakotay himself, then he grabbed his hips, spreading Chakotay’s feet and his own to allow more depth to their union, and then he slowly moved back his hips and cock, all the way to the tip and then pounded it in, allocating a cry of pleasure from his love. “Like that?” he teased in a deep husky voice. 

“Yessss,” Chakotay hissed as Tom did it again, and again, and again. Tom pounded into him so hard he felt he would go through the wall, but he didn’t care, it felt so fucking wonderful; “More,” he cried out, as Tom’s movements became more erratic, he was close as was Chakotay. 

Tom was feeling completely primal as he was fucking his love, claiming him, the emotions overtaking him as he fused his flesh into Chakotay’s…his Tay’s body. “Your mine, Tay, mine,” he growled as he fucked him harder, his teeth grazing along Chakotay’s neck as the blinding sensation to claim his mate once and for all over took him, “Mine,” he declared just before biting him hard as his cock exploded into his mates flesh, barely aware that his love’s body exploded upon his touch or his words of ‘yours’ springing from his lips. All Tom was aware of that in the essence of all life, he had made claim…it was done, Chakotay was his and no one would ever take him away…no one. 

***********

Chakotay was feeling on top of the world even after the hour long physical he had to endure in order to put this nonsense of his real identity to rest. His body still vibrated from this afternoon’s love making between him and Tom, and yes, it was love making even if it was rather rushed…or primal as he would call it. But it was this primal occurrence where he not only heard Tom declare him his, but felt it, and he lavished in it. 

The only down part of the whole thing was that he had to regenerate the mark Tom left on his neck before the physical as well as double clean himself. He wanted to tell Tom all about what was going on, but since the shower scene was a spontaneous quickie…well not so quick, for them, during Tom’s lunch, he was not able to do so, but would later tonight after this mess was over and done with once and for all. 

All he had to do now was wait, the Doc had all he could possibly need to make any and all determinations in his identity, as he saw the Captain and Tuvok enter the room. Chakotay jumped down from the bio bed and joined them, confident that all would be well, as the EMH also approached them. 

“Well?” Janeway asked; hesitation, hope and fear in her eyes as she looked to the Doctor for his medical opinion. 

“Well…I have good news…and bad.” 

****End of Part Ten****

“What do you mean?” Janeway inquired as the EMH moved closer to the tiny group. 

“Well, as you know, you asked me to do every test possible, to leave no cell unturned as it were, and I did just that, and I can say unequivalently that Commander Chakotay ‘is’ who he says he is. He is defiantly not a clone or some alien with a DNA transplant or any other but himself,” the Doc stated confidently. 

“What about the bio signature code we picked up?” she inquired. 

“Perhaps Captain, had you come to me earlier, I could have informed you that it was false. Unfortunately, I can not ascertain to whom it does belong too, but having done a thorough study of the Commander, it is not his. 

Kathryn looked relieved if not a bit embarrassed, and then recalled that the Doc said there was bad news too. “So, if he is who he says he is, then what’s the problem?” 

“Yes?” Chakotay asked, puzzled himself. 

“It would seem that the Commander has engaged in inappropriate sex with another male crew member, which I believe is illegal according to Starfleet regulations…”

“What?” Janeway demanded, stunned by what she was hearing. 

“Are you stating that you have evidence that clearly shows that Commander Chakotay has had sexual relations with another male member of this crew?” Tuvok inquired, his brow raising, the most a Vulcan will show in the regards to being shocked. 

“Didn’t I just say that,” The EMH annoyed. 

“Do you know who the other crew member was?” she asked, her voice tight with anger. 

“Of course…it was…” 

Janeway and Tuvok had been so keen on the EMH that they actually forgot that Chakotay was in the room, till the EMH frizzed out of sight. Then they turned to see him at the far console, dancing his fingers like a mad man over the panel. 

“Step a way from the console,” Tuvok stated firmly, resting his hand on his phaser that he had brought with him just incase this venture had turned sour; indeed it had, but he was still reluctant to draw his weapon. “Commander, if you do not cease your activity I will be forced to make you,” he warned as he stepped closer. 

Chakotay, sure that Tom’s name was cleared from the data bank, stepped back, cursing himself for his own folly. //Idiot! You just had sex before going to a head to toe internal external physical…moron!// he cured silently again. 

Tuvok moved to the consol to see what damage the Commander had done as Janeway moved in to confront him. “What the hell is this all about?” she demanded. “Why was the Doctor….I mean….” Her words stumbled, for she thought she knew this man before her and now…? 

“I’ll make it simple for you, Kathryn,” he stated coolly, his eyes more concerned that Tuvok might be able to override his deletion of Tom’s DNA traces or connection to him. “I’m gay,” he stated flatly. 

“But….I mean…how come you never told me,” she snapped. 

Chakotay looked at her as if she flipped a few switches, “Told you…told you? Are you forgetting why we’re here? You didn’t trust me, though I had hoped; but I was aware of you monitoring me since the beginning, so I tried to prove myself…and what did it get me…here? You, accusing me of not…being me! To top it off with, there is that ‘pesky’ regulation, which you made it quite clear you would follow, in which meant any member of this crew found guilty could kiss their chance of seeing home good bye!” he growled. “So, you tell me…Captain Janeway, where in the four quadrants did you get the foolish notion that I should have told you?”

“You were aware of your being monitored?” Tuvok inquired as he turned around to face them. 

“Yes; contrary to what others believe, I’m not a total idiot,” he growled out, though he checked it toward the end, for he needed to keep his head in order to make sure this didn’t blow up in anyone else’s face. 

“Well?” Janeway asked, looking at Tuvok. 

“He was quite successful in deleting any and all evidence indicating his…partner,” Tuvok stated evenly. 

Janeway’s eyes narrowed in anger and frustration, the weight of what to do next stifling her, almost making it hard to breath. “If I charge you…”

“This was bound to happen, might as well be me,” he interjected evenly. “For with all your ‘foolish notions’ you really didn’t think that absolutely no gay or bi individuals wound up on your ship did you?” 

“The Maquis…” 

Chakotay snorted, though his eyes grew dark with anger, he was about to say biting words, but found the streanght to swallow them. “You have a choice to make; sort of what is more important, an outdated regulation that if lifted will ease your troubles greatly or catching a spy who is using this entire situation to hide behind. Can’t you see, it’s harder for a person to hide if so many people don’t have to keep so many secrets…for crying out loud, Kathryn, this is the Delta, how are we to survive much less become that family you always talk about if we can’t trust one another or be too afraid to live our lives from day to day?” 

“So what are you saying Commander?” she asked, though her gaze tight and narrow in focus of him. 

“Lift the band; as Captain you have the power to do so. You and I sit down and talk…really talk, no more secrets, and definitely,” his eyes locked with hers, “No more lies. It may not be too late for us to work through this, and together we’ll find the real spy, in fact, I’ll put who ever it is head on a platter for you…figuratively speaking, regardless of who they are…gay, straight, fleet or Maquis…this two party command structure has got to end,” he stated. Then he straightened up and looked her, “The choice is yours, of course.”

“Tell me who the other crewman was,” she asked flatly. 

“No.” 

“You ask for trust…”

“You forget, I did trust you with all but my ‘personal’ life; it’s you who has had the more severe trust problem, and there is no way in hell I’ll betray anyone under these circumstances. You want to know about your crew, ask them…after you lift the band, otherwise…you’ll never know them…ever.” Chakotay replied as even as he could, though inside he was hopeful, but he was not overly confident either of her choice. 

“Captain, it would seem that you are at a juncture here,” Tuvok interjected. “If you do not lift the regulations on same sex interactions, then you will have no choice to but charge the Commander formally, before the crew. Either way, Captain, there will be difficulties to face, and the Commander does make a point…” 

“And what is that?” she asked, looking more stoic by the minute. 

“A person with a secret would find it more difficult to hide among us, if as a whole, we had fewer secrets to cling too,” Tuvok replied, resting his arms behind his back. “As I have advised as has the Commander, this is the Delta Quadrant and we are face with unusual circumstances; thus reiterating what you once said, unusual circumstances require unusual methods.” 

Janeway looked between her two officers, faced with a dilemma that had been building for some time and now was the time to act. “Gentlemen,” she stated firmly, as she squared her shoulders, “As they say back in the academy in the final year, its crunch time. I’m afraid circumstances have left us with no choice…” 

***********

It was a small party, but a party none the less, as Tom hugged his friends Gerron Tem and Allan Marcus, as did B’Elanna and Jenny, Megan, Ken, Sam, Neelix, and several others that were invited to this private gathering. 

“Tom, tell Jenny to get away from me with that marker?” Gerron whined, for though he was feeling better, he was still sporting the marks of Norox, but under the circumstances, he was feeling too good to care. 

“Jenny, if you want to play connect the dots, you’ll have to get Allen’s consent,” Tom teased, as he sipped his drink and took the marker pen from her hand. 

“Hey, if you just ask, I could tell you they form my initials,” Allan quipped, hugging his love tightly. Then he looked more seriously at Tom, “Thank you, sir, if you hadn’t…”

“Hey, I didn’t’ do it alone, we worked as a team,” Tom cheered, as he placed his arm around Sam Wilderman. 

“To our own special ops team,” B’Elanna toasted. Some started to raise their glassed, when Tom interrupted. 

“Wait. We can’t toast till everyone is here, especially our grand leader in this victory.” 

“What do you mean, didn’t you…?” Tem asked puzzled. 

Tom blushed, “well I did come up with some of it, but not all of it and I didn’t over see its operation,” he replied grinning like a guy in love. 

“True, we should wait till Chakotay gets here,” B’Elanna states, lowering her glass.

Gerron and Allen sputter their drinks in Tom’s direction. “Chakotay!” 

“Thanks,” Tom droned as he wiped the Champaign from his face. 

“You guys didn’t know?” Megan asked surprised. 

“I knew the Cap was going to help when he asked me to buy him time for the case, but…no. When?” he asked, astonished that this tidbit of information was kept from him all this time. Hell, if he knew Chakotay was one of them, he’d have hit him up years ago….well, once he was of age anyway. 

“The First Officer…you’re telling me, that you…trusted the First Officer of Voyager…?” Allan was beside himself at the news. 

“No, he trusted his boyfriend, who just happened to be the First Officer of Voyager, Jenny” snickered, seeing Gerron’s envy and Allan’s amazement. 

“Chakotay is….is…” Allan was stunned. 

“Watch it, that’s my boyfriend you’re trying to talk about,” Tom teased. “But yes, he’s with us, and he oversaw the finalization of the plan. To be honest, he was going to try and beat Janeway over the head with this case and force the regs issue, but then after another meeting with you guys and the fact that Janeway made it clear if found guilty…”

“We’d be put off, I heard,” Tem said, as he wrapped an arm tightly around his lover. 

“He wouldn’t put you guys at risk, so we advised a plan. Plus, it really was a set up, we just haven’t found out who yet,” Tom finished. 

“Great, so now we have to look out for this bastard…”

“Or bitch,” Ken added for clarification. 

“Whatever; we have to look out for someone with a grudge…terrific,” Allen growled. 

“Easy, Allan, this is a victory party…relax. Once Chakotay gets here, we plan on getting down to business and find this…creep. Don’t worry, with Chakotay on our side,” Tom straightened his shoulders like a peacock proud of his colors, “We have it in the bag.” 

Just then the door opened and everyone turned to see Brain Wilks entering, but his face looked anything but pleased. He scanned the room till his eyes set on Tom and moved to him on a straight projectory, stopping in front of him; his breathing heavy. “There’s a problem,” he finally said. He licked his lips, and swallowed as he now took in everyone around him, while beads of sweat formed on his top lip and he licked it again. Not knowing any other way to say it, he face Tom, “Chakotay’s been arrested.” 

The room fell silent, but for a few small gasps, all eyes were on the security officer in the center of them. Tom blinked at Brain a few times, “There must be some mistake…”

“No, Tom. I was on duty when they brought him in a couple of hours ago. Tom…he’s been charged with immoral conduct in becoming of an officer and obstruction of justice; those are the only one’s I heard anyway. From what I can gather, he was in sick bay…”

Tom blanched, as he recalled that he and Chakotay made love in the shower hours ago during lunch… “Are they…?”

“No, they are not looking for you. Apparently Chakotay managed to destroy the evidence that would incriminate you, thus the obstruction of justice. I wanted to come and tell you sooner, but they’re watching everyone…closely. Plus it took me some time to find out even as much as I know. Chakotay was playing cool, ignoring me the whole time, but I’m sure he knew I’d tell you. Then after shift I went to my cabin and waited, I didn’t want them to think I came here first thing…it would…look bad…I…?”

“Relax,” B’Elanna said, seeing Brain was about to faint, and guided him to a seat, as Megan was doing the same for Tom. 

“Why the hell was he in sickbay anyway?” B’Elanna hissed, her fear for her friend and for her and Donna emerging as anger. 

“I don’t know,” Tom stated blandly, his mind a blank, as he tried to fathom his lover being attained and charged. “Chakotay was fine at lunch…” he wiped his face, glad that Jenny took the glass from his hand before he dropped it. 

Before anyone else spoke, a com badge beeped. “Lieutenant Torres, Lieutenant Paris, report to my ready room as soon as possible,” ordered Janeway. 

“On my way,” she stated, and then looked at Tom, eyeing him that they most likely knew he was with her. 

“Be there in a minute, Captain,” he said as calmly as he could. Then waited for the channel to close. “Fuck,” he hissed, as he covered his face with his hands. 

“My guess is that Janeway is going to want that information that Chakotay destroyed, and who best to find it than a couple…one she ‘believes’ she can trust,” Sam interjected, noting a calm and clear head was needed at the moment; just like she knew Chakotay would have had. “If that’s the case, you guys will simply report to her that it’s non-retrievable…and make sure of it. I’m sure between the rest of us we can find out why Chakotay was in sickbay and the current charges and evidence. Once we know what we’re dealing with, we can act; so let’s not panic. I’ll be the go between the two teams we had as before and meet for breakfast, 06:00; sound good?” 

Tom looked at her and got up, hugged her and placed a kiss on her cheek; “Now I understand why Chakotay was pushing for your promotion, Ensign” he smiled, giving his thanks for her strength. 

“He is?” she asked, suddenly a child like look in her eyes at the thought. 

“He is…and will be, once we get this mess taken care of…yes?”

“YES” everyone stated in agreement. 

***********

Sam had been correct in her assumption as to why Janeway had called B’Elanna and Tom to her office. The Captain had not gone into a full explanation, nor was Chakotay’s name mentioned, but they were assigned to retrieve the missing data, while Tuvok and the Captain dealt with the current trade vessel that just arrived off the port bow. 

Janeway had mentioned something about lousy timing to both her officers before sending them on their way to sickbay where they both were currently, on their backs in the guts of the computer console; making sure Tom’s DNA continued to go missing and find out the reason why Chakotay was in sickbay in the first place. It seemed that someone else had taken care of that little bit of information as well, as they continued to try, two and half hours later. 

“I can’t believe this,” Tom hissed as he scooted out from under the computer panel to stand up and stretch his aching back and legs, as well as his temper. His love was in a cell…a cell, and he was here when he should be doing something…// You are doing something,// his mind reminded him as did B’Elanna in her own quite voice. 

“Look, from what we have been able to discover, Chakotay didn’t have time to delete all the files, so it stands to reason someone else did. I’m sure if with just a bit more time I can get to those files…” 

Tom leaned on the nearest biobed for support and wiped his tired eyes, and keeping them closed, drawing on images of his love’s smile and quite strength to keep himself together. In his most wildest of dreams he had fantasized about Chakotay as his lover…and love, but having it a reality was more fantastic and more precious to him than he could have imagined, and having that threatened…?” //Don’t give up,// he told himself. //Chakotay wouldn’t and neither will you. Besides…// he sighed, as he realized he had just made a crucial decision, and moved to kneel down to B’Elanna. “If he goes, so do I,” he whispered. 

“Tom…give us a chance to work the problem, don’t let it work us…okay?” 

Tom gave a crooked smile, for she sounded just like the big guy, “I will, but I just thought I’d tell you…okay?” 

“I appreciate that, but I don’t think that will be necessary. Now, if you don’t mind?” she glared, tired her self, indicating they needed to get back to work. 

As they worked they heard the doors to sickbay open and shut. Tom shifted to see Harry enter. “If you didn’t bring food, go away,” he said, only partially teasing, for he was hungry, but he didn’t want Harry to see just how upset he really was about all this…taking in the fact as to whether or not Harry knew, for there had been no formal announcement even if this time formal charges had been made. 

“Sorry, but I thought you guys might like a hand?” Harry offered as he moved around to the console ready to pitch in. 

It was B’Elanna that jerked out from underneath to stand before him that stopped his progression. “I don’t need your help, Starfleet. It’s bad enough I have flyboy here, the two of you would drive me crazy,” she growled, though in truth they didn’t want Harry knowing what they really were trying to do. 

“Besides, it’s not like the trial is going to be tomorrow,” Tom quipped, for he could see Harry did know about this or he wouldn’t have offered to help. 

“Trail?” 

“Yeah, trial,” Tom stated, puzzled by Harry’s reaction. “Um, you do know why we’re here…right?” he asked, just to make sure.

“Yeah, to find out who Chakotay’s perverted partner is,” he hissed in disdain. Then it dawned on Harry, “Oh, you mean the crewman’s trial once we find the fag?” 

Tom drew on every once of willpower not to deck his so-called best friend. “I was talking about Commander Chakotay’s trial,” he clarified, tight lipped. 

Harry looked puzzled, “Didn’t you hear?” 

“Hear what?” B’Elanna asked, not liking the way this was brewing before her.

“Chakotay pleaded guilty to his depraved acts, and Janeway put him off the ship already. Good thing the trade vessel made contact with us, or we’d have to wait till we found a place. Too bad though…” he said shaking his head. 

“Too bad for what?” B’Elanna asked, shock still upon her at what she was hearing. 

“I really liked the Commander, it’s too bad that some low life was able to taint him so…” he sighed, “Well…Tom…Tom?” He rushed to his friend’s side, for he looked like he was about to faint. “Are you…”

Tom shoved him away as hard as he could. “You’re lying!” he shouted. 

“Tom…” B’Elanna warned, for though she was just as upset about this, seeing Tom about to blow his own ‘cover’ at the news, brought her senses to bare, “I know you and Chakotay were good friends…”

Tom looked at her, and was going to speak, but found himself speechless; her words sinking in, that he could not lose it here. “Computer, location of Commander Chakotay?” 

 

Tom didn’t need to pay attention to the rest…Chakotay was gone. No word, no goodbye…just…gone. 

“I see why your so upset, but he had us all fooled,” Harry stated, believing he knew why Tom was acting like this. 

“Go away, Harry,” Tom stated between clenched teeth. 

“Tom…”

Once again, circumstances forced B’Elanna to be the level headed one as she guided Tom to a chair in the Doc’s office. “You better leave, Harry, I’ll look after him,” she stated as nicely as she could, but let him know if he didn’t it would not be requested in words next time. 

Harry just shook his head puzzled and left. 

Tom looked up at his true best friend, no longer able to keep it together, as a few tears feel down his face. “He’s…”

“Shh,” she soothed as she took him in her arms, and kept him silent. She didn’t know if this place was safe for Tom to poor his heart out or not, but she did know he needed to let some of it out, and held him tight, while whispering in his ear. “It’s going to be alright,” she soothed, praying that it would be, while at the same time irate to no end that Chakotay had been thrown off or that he simply pleaded guilty. //She must have had something on him to make him take the easy way out,// she mused, for her spirit wouldn’t allow her to accept anything else. 

Seeing that Tom was in no shape to continue this, she called for a site to site transport to her quarters and tucked the young man that she wished she could have loved if she too had been different, into her bed; him having cried himself into a state of exhaustion. //Must be real love,// she thought for it was the only reason Tom would react this badly. 

As she sat there caressing his hair, fluttering in and out of consciousness, the official announcement was made. Chakotay was gone. 

*****End of Part Eleven****

Personal Log:

If I had any thoughts that I’d discover the identity of Chakotay’s lover in the wave of his departure, via extreme depression and despondency, I was quite mistaken; that is unless he’s made love to over a quarter of the crew? Then there is taking in account another percentage that simply has demonstrated to be more open minded than I realized as they have filed formal protests to my actions. I am torn by all this, and to be honest am…proud of them; however, it is all futile; he’s gone…destination unknown. *small chuckle* I’ve had several crewmembers attempt to come forth as the ‘mysterious’ lover, in order to be able to leave Voyager in search of him; I find it touching that he has inspired such loyalty among the crew, as well I find myself jealous as hell…but that’s only because I am human. It’s only been three days…I’m hoping with time… *heavy sigh*

I can say truthfully that I do regret his departure; not simply because of the crew, but because of what I have lost…a good First Officer. I would like to say friend, but I lost that a while back when I didn’t trust him when another security matter came up. If I had…? *heavy sigh* I’m sure there are galaxies filled with what ifs, and as I know what Chakotay would say, they don’t server us here, so why dwell on them. He was a very sage man…wherever he is… *hitching of breath* I wish him well. 

Computer end log. 

Janeway wipes a tear from her eye as she sits back in her chair in her office, drinking another cup of coffee, staring out into space, when her door chimes. “Enter”

“Mr. Paris, what can I do for you?” she asks, having noted he’s been among those upset by Chakotay’s departure. 

“Captain, I wish to confess…

“Oh please, not you too,” she groaned. “Don’t you think B’Elanna is going to be upset by this little stunt?” she asked him, wondering if he’s put any thought to his actions. 

“Excuse me?” Tom asked, truly puzzled by the Captain’s reaction. “Captain, I’m here to…”

“Confess to being the ‘mysterious lover’,” she finished for him. Then shifted forward in her chair and grabbed a pad and tossed it in his direction. It landed at the edge of her desk. “Take a number, Mr. Paris. You would think by now, people would come up with a new one,” she added with exhaustion as she leaned back to finish her coffee. 

Tom picked up the pad and looked at the names and his jaw dropped; for there were names on here that he himself were sure were straighter than a standard ruler, along with many he did know, all confessing to be Chakotay’s lover. Had Tom not known for a fact that he was Chakotay’s second male lover ever…he would be having a hissy fit by now, as it was he felt the green one eyed monster envelop him...

“Tom, I know you and Chakotay had a rough time of it over the years, and were just beginning on a close friendship…but this type of behavior won’t bring him back. I’m sorry, but he ‘chose’ to leave, instead of standing trial. It’s over with Tom…let it go.”

Tom did let it go, the jealousy, as he placed down the pad. “Captain, can’t we just go and find him…drag him back?” 

“Regulations…”

“Captain… please...I…and the crew know what an invaluable asset he is to us, plus he’s part of our family…you can’t…”

“Tom, stop,” she said firmly as she stood up and moved around the desk to meet him. “It’s not that I don’t know what you are saying is true, but you are still in the minority, and regulations are against you as well. Besides…I don’t know where he’s gone…”

“We can contact the trade vessels…”

“Tom…he’s gone. I’m sorry,” she said again, placing a soft hand on his shoulder and guided him to the exit, which also opened to the bridge. 

Just then the slight beeping of a ship wide com channel being opened sounded and music filled the air…

[Express yourself don’t repress yourself, Express yourself don’t repress yourself, Express yourself don’t repress yourself, Express yourself don’t repress yourself, Express yourself don’t repress yourself…And I’m not sorry. It’s human nature. And I’m not sorry. It’s human nature.

You wouldn’t let me say the words I longed to say. You didn’t want to see life through my eyes.

Express yourself don’t repress yourself

You tried to shove me inside your narrow room. And silence me with bitterness and lies

Express yourself don’t repress yourself

Did I say something wrong…oops I didn’t know we couldn’t talk about sex.  
I must have been crazy  
Did I stay too long…oops I didn’t know I couldn’t speak my mind.  
What was I thinking?

And I’m not sorry. It’s human nature. And I’m not sorry. It’s human nature.

You punish me for telling you my fantasies. I’m breaking all the rules I didn’t make.

Express yourself don’t repress yourself

You took my words, made trap for silly fools you held me down and tried to make me break.

Express yourself don’t repress yourself

Did I say something true…oops I didn’t know we couldn’t talk about sex.  
I must have been crazy.  
Did I have a point of view…didn’t know we couldn’t talk about you.  
What was I thinking?

And I’m not sorry. It’s human nature. And I’m not sorry. It’s human nature.

Express yourself, don’t repress yourself. Express yourself don’t repress yourself, Express yourself don’t repress yourself, Express yourself don’t repress yourself, Express yourself don’t repress yourself.

Did I say something true…Oops I didn’t know we couldn’t talk about sex.  
I must have been crazy.  
Did I have a point of view…oops I didn’t know we couldn’t talk about you.  
What was I thinking?

And I’m not sorry. I’m not apologizing. It’s human nature. Would it sound better if I was a man? And I’m not sorry. Would you like me better if I was? It’s human nature. You’d feel the same way. And I’m not sorry. I have no regrets. It’s human nature. I don’t have to justify anything. And I’m not sorry. I’m just like you It’s human nature.]

 

Janeway stood by Tuvok, having heard the song out, for all attempts to silence it had failed. When it was over, the channel closed as did any leads to locating its origin. “What the hell was that?” she snapped. 

Tom couldn’t help the smug smile, “That was Madonna, a female singer in the twentieth century, and that…” he checked himself, for he didn’t want to give too much away, “sounded like another form of protest, to me…Captain.” He folded his arms behind his back and rocked on his feet, keeping his face neutral, but very pleased inside at the rebel, for the song expressed many of the things he was feeling at the moment, and glad that someone had the guts to put it out there. He only wished Chakotay was here to see it. The thought of his love being gone, sent him right back into depression, but duty called and so he moved back to his station and tried to focus. 

“I want you to find our mystery rebel, Mr. Tuvok. I won’t tolerate this kind of action on my ship. They tampered with ships security, I don’t’ think I need say more.”

“I will get on it immediately,” he stated, and keyed in a few commands on his panel and then departed the bridge. 

“Mr. Paris, you have the bridge,” she said, before heading back into her office, a very frustrated look on her face. 

“Aye, Captain,” Tom said, glad no one could see the very smug look upon his. 

“I hope Tuvok gets the culprit soon, so we don’t have to get subjected to any more trash like that,” Ensign Warren stated, as he continued at his station. 

“Ensign?” 

“Yes, Lieutenant?”

“Shut up.” 

************

“How’s he doing?” Donna Henley asked her lover as they worked close together in a crawlspace far from anyone, and the tricorder they had set up to say otherwise agreed. 

“Getting worse, I’m afraid.” 

“I’m worried about him, Bel.”

“Me too, Donna, but…”

“What?”

“He really loves Chakotay.” 

“Bel, they were only together for a short time; I know Tom’s a passionate man…?”

B’Elanna sighed as she shifted to face her, “You don’t understand. Tom told me he had been in love with Chakotay since the first day they met. To suddenly have him in his life only to lose him like this…?” 

“Oh,” was all Donna could say, for she was stunned by the news. Then she looked at B’Elanna seriously, “Do you think he’ll try something stupid…I mean more so than he’s already tied to do?” 

“I’m glad that Ken came up with that ploy of over indulging the Captain’s desire to find Chakotay’s lover,” B’Elanna chuckled softly. “I just can’t believe he talked so many into it? I mean…he even got Alaya to do it…Alaya, a man who thinks gays should be spaced?” 

“Oh, that’s not true. Besides, I think with the fact that Chakotay turned out to be gay and a man that was Greg’s friend and a man Greg had admired and in his own right loved…helped open a few eyes.” Donna laughed, “I only wished I was a spec on the wall, so I could have seen Janeway’s face when all these men started coming forward…” she laughed harder. 

“Oh, yeah, that would have been priceless,” Torres chuckled, and then sighed. “But, a good thing. I heard Tom tried to step forward today, just before our ships rebel Disc Jockey showed up.”

“Yeah, that was rather exciting. Do you know who did it?”

“No. I first thought it was Tom, since he’s our twentieth century expert, but he said he didn’t, but wished he did.”

Donna moved forward and her tricorder beeped. “I’m picking up extra power fluxes from the panel ahead,” she stated, and showed B’Elanna the readings. 

“Odd, there’s no reason for that sector to be malfunctioning,” she mumbled, and moved forward till she was near the panel in question. She opened it and found it a mess of wires…lots of wires that didn’t belong to this system. She tapped her badge, “B’Elanna to Tuvok…we have a problem.” 

***********

It was late and Tom was tired, emotionally as well as physically. He had tried to no end to locate the trade vessel on his own time to no prevail. //Damn you, Chakotay!// he cursed again, as he kept his heart from shattering even more than it already was. //Why didn’t you say good bye or find a way get a message to me?// he pondered for the millionth time as he entered his quarters. //I would have gone with you…or perhaps you didn’t want me along,// the other voice interjected; the one that was always on stand-by to put him down, much like his Father did. Funny it sounded like him too. //That’s not true,// his other self objected, //he wanted you to get home…// He stopped, for though his quarters were dark, he knew he was not alone. “Who’s there?” he called out. “Computer lights.” 

“Harry?” 

“Hey, Tom?” a sleepy Harry muttered as he sat up from sleeping on his couch. “I’ve been worried about you and came by to talk, but you weren’t here and so I decided to wait…err…must have fallen asleep. Sorry.” 

Tom gave his friend…not so best friend, a patient smile. “Thanks, Harry, but I’m okay. Why don’t you go home and I’ll see you at breakfast, Okay?” 

Harry stood up and eyes Tom for a moment, “Look, Tom. I’m your best friend, and I know something is wrong, for you seriously can’t still be upset about Chakotay’s leaving…are you? Tom, he was a homosexual, those people…”

“Those people what, Harry,” Tom snapped, having had enough of the bigotry, and emotionally he was in no condition to face it anymore; it was what caused his love to leave and it was what prevented him from returning. “What, Harry, what about ‘those’ people?” he growled. “Face it, Ensign Kim, you don’t know shit! People are people and who they chose to love or not love has nothing to do with whether or not they are a good person or capable of doing their job.” 

“You’re starting to sound like them…”

“Like who?” 

“A sympathizer. Tom, Homosexuals can’t be trusted…”

“Mr. Kim, I have had enough of your naïve and hateful propaganda. I suggest before you cross this door step again, you grow up!” he fumed and grabbed Harry by the arm and guided him to the door.

Harry wrestled free, “Watch it, Tom. There are people on this ship that wouldn’t tolerate that kind of talk. I’ve kept them off your back so far because we’re friends, but…”

“Don’t do me any favors, Harry,” Tom sneered. Then he caught a look at his room and saw one of his pictures was crooked and a strange feeling came over him, “We’re you really sleeping or did I catch you in the middle of snooping?” he accused. 

“What?” 

“I don’t know what you or your little ‘friends’ want, but I can tell you this. Leave me the fuck alone, and that goes double for you,” he growled and tossed Harry out and locked the door to his room. Then he moved to his picture of an abstract Earth, a present from Allen Marcus after Tom certified him for his pilot credentials, having spent a lot of free time in teaching the young man, and fixed it. As he shifted the picture, he noticed a faint outline of…something, and removed the entire frame down from the wall and saw that something had been here at one time, but was gone. The only reason Tom knew this was by the faint dust and dirt outline that was present. He traced it with a finger, but was not able to tell what the hell it was. Curious, he moved to his desk and pulled out a tricorder; one he swiped form sickbay years ago, and started scanning his room, to see if there was anything else hidden in his room. 

*********

Out in the hall, Harry was furious. //How dare he treat me like this!// he raged inside as he stormed away. He entered the turbo lift, “Deck nine,” he called out and adjusted his uniform from the man handling Tom had gave him. Once the doors opened he walked down a ways till he got to the quarters of his destination and chimed. 

“Enter” 

Harry walked in and saw they had started without him. “Sorry I’m late,” he muttered. 

“No big deal,” Chell muttered as he shifted on the sofa, to make room for Harry. “We were just discussing what should be done about the fags Allen and Tem.”

Harry looked at him and the group, “But they were found innocent…”

“Yeah, by phony means, set up by that depraved Maquis,” Jennings growled. “We’d worked weeks to set those pricks up…”

“Hey, watch the Maquis remarks,” Hogan snapped. “Though I have to admit, I would have never pegged Chakotay as a fag,” he added, a bit disappointed at the turn of events. 

“It just goes to show you can’t be too careful,” Sue Niccoletti chimed in as she gathered up a drink for herself and moved to sit in Jennings’ lap. “Not only are they’re here, like an infestation, but they’re drawing supporters…”

“We can’t let that happen,” Chell demanded. 

“True, but how do we stop it?” Harry asked. 

“Easy, we demonstrate to the crew just how dangerous they are,” Sue replied, rubbing Jennings’ shoulder, as she sipped her drink. 

“And just how do we do that?” Hogan inquired, “We spent weeks trying to set up Allen and Gerron and look where it got us?” 

“Hey, it led to the discovery of one of their leaders,” Harry interjected. “I mean, who knew when we were using Chakotay’s transponder code and bio-signature that he would turn out to really be one of them.”

Hogan suddenly gets up from his chair and replicates a double scotch, “Yeah,” he muttered. 

“Feeling guilty?” Sue pried, as she got up to join him. “Look, he obviously was ‘not’ the man you thought he was…get over it.” 

“Look, I only handed that information over because I was sure he’d be found innocent…”

“Not feeling sorry for him, are you?” Chell asked, his eyes narrowing. “We don’t need anymore sympathizers.” 

Hogan thought about it a moment, “No, just….out of sorts, that’s all. I’ll get over it. “Any word from the others?”

“No. They haven’t been able to attain any clear targets, and Allen and Gerron have been clinging to the Delaney sisters…fucking whores,” Jennings growled. “If it wasn’t for their sympathizing…?” 

Harry was thinking deeply, listening to everyone, when a terribly wicked idea came to him. //Serves the bastard right,// he thought as he became more and more taken with his idea. “If we don’t have a target, why don’t we make one,” he suggested. 

“Make one?”

“Yeah. We take one of their strongest sympathizers and use them as an example; so when we’re done with them, all of those…fucking perverts will be begging the Captain to leave our ship.” He suggested, feeling Tom needed a wake up call and a heavy dose of humiliation. 

“Have anyone in mind?” Chell asked as he turned to face the young Ensign. 

“Yeah…Tom Paris.” 

“I thought Tom was your friend?” Sue inquired, wondering why the change of heart. 

“No, he’s a full out sympathizer. In fact, I’m not so sure he’s not using B’Elanna as a cover…they’ve been known to do that…” he muttered, but then stopped, knowing he was saying this simply because he was angry.

“Tell me about it,” Sue remarked as she tossed her glass in the replicator, bitterness crossing her face. “Though I’d hate to upset B’Elanna…”

“She’s a sympathizer too,” Jennings added. Then he turned to the rest, “I think we have a winner. I’ll tell the others that we have a new mission, Operation Paris. It’ll take some planning…”

“Just what are we going to do to him?” Hogan questioned as he retook his seat. 

Everyone was quite for a moment, till Sue spoke, a dark chilliness to her voice. “It seems that when Tom’s lover dumped him for another, he couldn’t take it anymore and decided that if he couldn’t have them, no one could. Sadly, in the attempt to murder his ex-lover, he died along with a few others…such a…tragedy.” 

“Murder/suicide,” Jennings nodded in approval. 

“Killing?” Harry squeaked. He wanted Tom to suffer, not die. 

“Hey, we need to be rid of them, what better way,” Sue snapped. “And you’re in this as deep as the rest of us, for setting the baby fags up, so shut it.” 

“Who has the distinct honor of being Tom’s ex-lover?” Chell asked, his eyes beaming at the idea. 

“It’ll have to be someone that one, isn’t with us, and we suspect strongly as one of them…” Jennings mused. “I’ve got it…Brian Wilks.”

“Wilks?” Harry was starting to wonder if he just stepped into another universe. Sure he wanted gays gone…but this…?” “Brian is…”

“A sympathizer just like B’Elanna. He also hasn’t dated anyone since coming out here…” Chell started to clarify. 

“Hey, lack of dating has nothing to do with being gay,” Hogan grumbled. “I haven’t ‘dated’ either and I’m sure as hell not gay!”

“No, the women just have good taste,” sue teased.

“Look,” Jennings said firmly. “It’s settled. Tom Paris will be doing in his ex-lover Wilks…in the mess hall, where we can be sure we’ll get enough of them,” he chuckled wickedly. “Got it?”

“Got it,” they all said. 

“How soon?” Chell inquired, “So I can get with the others and start planning?”

“By the end of the week,” Sue answered coldly. “We have a list of those we are sure we want to be rid of…we’ll just make sure to have them all present. Then in one swift stroke…Kaboom!” she laughs darkly, “They’re all gone, and if we missed any…I’m sure they’ll be more than ready to leave.” 

“Guys, can’t we find another way?” Harry inquired, suddenly dreading being here. 

“Harry, Harry, Harry,” Jennings said as he moved to sit next to him, letting Chell move, and placed an arm around him, “Your not going soft on us are you?” 

“N…no, no. It’s just…don’t you think this is going a…bit far?” 

“Yeah, just a bit?” Hogan joined. 

“Gentlemen…drastic times call for drastic measures. We’ve stood by and let them fester for over three years…enough is enough. Now…are you with us or…not?” 

Harry wasn’t stupid, “Of course, I just wanted to be sure…that’s all.”

“I’m sure,” Jennings clarified, and nodded in approval, then looked at Hogan. 

“I’m with you.” 

“Good. Chell, Sue, tell the others, in five days, are worries will be put to an end once and for all…starting and ending with Tom Paris.”

*******End of Part Twelve********

It had taken some time, but Tom found that his quarters were safe, no bugs, but a lot of dust…forgot to activate the cleaning system, which had to be done manually to save ships power, and one data pad that had an encryption on it that was the hardest he had ever come across. 

He had thought of taking it to Tuvok, but then thought differently, for he wanted to know what was on it and more so, why was it in his quarters. The only thing he was able to tell from the dust build up on it, was that it had not been there for very long, a few days at best, nothing more. 

After several hours of attempting to break the encryption and failing, Tom decided to forgo it till later and bring B’Elanna in on it, as he placed it in a draw next to his bed and grabbed a quick shower. As it was, he’d have hardly any rest, not that it would have mattered, for all his mind ever did was dream of Chakotay. He’d dream of his smile and the sound of his voice as he spoke. Images of his face would flood him as would the picture of his love’s golden-bronze body sprawled out before him, his skin glistening from the sweat of desire, his eyes black with passion, and his thick large cock achingly hard, as he begged Tom to fuck him. 

Tom’s body shook with desire at the image he just conjured up as he laid on top of his bed, only a towel around his waist, where his own erection was peeking through, dripping with need. He recalled the taste of his love’s sweet lips and mouth, and how soft they were to the touch while still firmly pressing upon his own; opening wide to let Tom take all he wished from within…a soft moan escaped Tom’s own lips at the thought. 

He could feel the ghostly strokes of powerful hands upon his skin, caressing down his side, along his thighs, and cupping his butt; especially when they were fucking, for Chakotay wanted him deeper and would reach around and pull him closer…oooh, it always felt so good when he did that; showing Tom just how much he enjoyed their union of their bodies and souls. 

Tom stretched out his body, for the tension it was feeling to be touched like that again weighted heavy, as was now his ball sac, for he was iron hard; but he would not touch himself; instead he just grabbed the sheets and let his mind take him where it wanted. The feeling of the tight velvet passage flashed through him, as well as the knowledge that he was the second man to ever touch his Tay here or in this way; it made it special and more exciting. // “You like my cock up your ass?” “Oh yes, Tom…please baby, fuck me…harder…please?” “Like this?” “YES…oh yes, touch me Tommy…touch me?”// the words rang like fire through his brain, for Chakotay enjoyed what he called the ‘special touch’ that of having Tom’s cock caressing his prostate; said there was nothing like it and had no qualms in begging for it…from Tom anyway, and the sound of need in his deep husky voice always sent electrical shocks of passion throughout his system, just as recalling was doing to him now. 

Tom held the sheets tightly as his hips thrust upwards on automatic, seeking friction for the release his body was demanding, but was denying; he wanted the memory of it all to take him over the edge, nothing else would do. // “Beautiful, so fucking beautiful”// he recalled saying to Chakotay one night, as he pumped in and out of his solid body, and saw his love flushed with desire, his lips slightly swollen from being thoroughly kissed, his eyes black as night, staring at him with unmask need. // “touch yourself for me?” // and watched as a powerful hand caressed a crossed the muscular chest, rubbing on chocolate nipples, already hard, from the ministrations his mouth had given them only moments before. Then the hand slid down flat toned stomach and slowly started to touch the large engorged dick, that was wet not only from mounds of pre-cum, but Tom’s saliva, having sucked it to it’s current state, the taste still on his tongue and lips, that he tastes again, by licking his lips in response to seeing Chakotay touching his own cock. // “That’s it baby, touch yourself for me…come for me…come hard,”// he had ordered, and Chakotay did; he came hard, roaring out his orgasm as it ripped through his body, clenching his ass muscles around the iron cock that was still thrusting within him…till Tom shouted his own release…in the dream and in reality. 

Tom laid there panting, his cum laying on his body, but mostly the towel had caught it, debating to get up and wash it off or simply wipe it off and roll over to rest; he chose the latter, his only thought was how he was going to find his love again. 

**********

B’Elanna entered the brig and gave Ryan a nod, “I’ve come to collect him,” she stated with some annoyance. 

“Good, because he’s driving me nuts,” Ryan chuckled, though only partially kidding, as he switched off the force field to the cell. “He’s all yours…though if you ever consider trading him in for a better model, just let me know,” he smiled playfully, then deactivated the rest of the power to this area and went back to work. 

“After this little…stunt…I’ll let you know,” she replied, but more so for Tom’s ears than anyone else’s. “Come on, Flyboy,” she said, taking his arm, for he looked like hell, and it had only been four days. As they entered the hall, “you’re lucky the Captain didn’t through the book at you…taking a shuttle…of all the lame brain…”

“Bel…please,” Tom said, indicating that he had had enough and was not in the mood. 

They walked in silence till they entered Tom’s quarters and Tom moved to plop on his couch and wiped his face, sign of defeat was all over it. “I couldn’t find the ship…” he muttered. 

“Tom…” she sighed, for she didn’t know what to say, for it was clear to her that Tom loved Chakotay very much, enough to risk everything and steal a shuttle to go look for him. “He’d want you to make it home…”

Tom’s head snapped up and he looked at her hard, his eyes pouring out his pain, “Don’t you get it…he ‘was’ my home, Bel. I love him, I have never loved anyone else the way I love him. He’s….everything to me…I just can’t…” he shook with emotions, for it was like going through his leaving all over again, but this time there was no hope in sight. “He’s gone…B’Elanna…gone. How would you feel if it was Donna? That one day she was in your arms safe and sound and the next…out there somewhere facing who knows what…alone?” 

B’Elanna sat down next to Tom and placed a comforting arm around him, “Tom…it’s not like I have not tried to place myself in your position, hell, it’s the reason I’m still talking to you after this stunt…because I understand it. But…as painful as it is…you have to face the fact that he’s gone and the Captain will ‘not’ let you go…” 

Tom fell into her embrace crying “I thought he loved me too,” he sobbed. “I know he never said it…but I thought…”

“What?” 

“I thought he’d find a way back to me…is that crazy or what?” Tom asked, trying to reign in his pain and stop crying. 

B’Elanna hugged her friend, rubbing his back, “No, Tom…it’s not crazy…not in the least,” she whispered, once again wondering what the hell had been in Chakotay’s head the day he just took off like that. //He didn’t have a choice,// she recalled, but it didn’t subtract from her anger for her best friend was in pain and there was nothing she could do about it…and she hated it. 

“Hey, what did you do to Harry?” she asked, wanting to change the subject. 

“Harry?”

“Yeah, he’s been mopping around here like a wounded targe, since that day you took off with the shuttle?”

“Oh,” Tom sat up and wiped the moister off his cheeks, “I told him I had had enough of his naïve and hateful propaganda, and that before he ever crossed that door again, he’d better grow up,” Tom said matter of fact as he got up and got himself a drink of water, for his replicator rations were gone till the end of the month, but glad that he kept a pitcher of water on a regular basis. “I suppose he’s still smarting over it,” he added after he poured a glass and sipped on the room temperature water. 

Then Tom’s mind shifted gears, “Hey, I found something that night that I was going to bring to your attention, but…”

“You decided to go on a little trip of the Delta instead,” She teased with a hint of scolding still present. “What did you find?”

“I found a pad, with an encryption code from hell, which was hidden in my room behind that picture,” he said pointing to the gift he got from Allen. He placed the glass down and walked into his bedroom, knowing B’Elanna was following him. “I think together we can crack it, for as much as I would like to take it Tuvok, I can’t but wonder what’s on it and why it was in ‘my’ quarters in the first place.” 

“How long do you suppose it’s been here?” she asked, just as curious as Tom at the mystery before them. 

“As far as I could tell, only a few days from the dust build up, however, the readings could be off, for I do forget to run the cleaning program everyone once and a while,” he teased and opened his nightstand draw, and shifted things around, looking for it. “Hmm,” he said, and checked the other one…nothing. He then checked the one on the other side of his bed, and then turned to face B’Elanna, “It’s gone.” 

“Are you sure you didn’t miss place it?” 

“Bel…I ‘know’ I put it in my nightstand….it’s gone. Someone has been in here…” he said, looking around his room, wondering what else was touched, “and how did anyone know I had found it?” 

B’Elanna took the seriousness of Tom’s face into consideration, before committing herself to this endeavor; Tom was real…this was not a joke. “Perhaps, when you were attempting to crack the code it sent a signal out to whoever hid the thing?” 

“Perhaps, but the readings from my tricorder, it appeared to simply be a data pad…?” his eyes narrowed in deep thought. “Harry!” 

“Harry?”

“Yeah, he was in my quarters that night, and I had accused him of snooping…I had found the pad on the floor… Perhaps I caught him in the act and he tossed it down to the ground while leaping on the sofa to pretend to sleep. He knew I spotted the offset picture…and came back to get it.” 

B’Elanna scratched her cheek, as he pondered this theory, “Perhaps, but that would mean he broke into your quarters to get it. But why would Harry hide a data pad in your quarters?” 

“I don’t know, but then why would ‘anyone’ hide a data pad in my quarters?” 

“Hmm,” B’Elanna said, as she folded her arms in deep thought. “I shouldn’t be saying this, but…”

Tom saw that she might have some pertinent information so moved closer to encourage her to speak, “What?” 

“The day our musical rebel struck, Donna and I were doing a maintenance check in Jefferies tube 43 and we came across a power tranz juncture that had been seriously tapped into. I contacted Tuvok and he pulled us out of the tube to let him investigate it, and then simply told us to keep quiet about it. Till now I have, but perhaps…?”

“Who ever hid the data pad also tapped into the power tranz juncture…but why?”

“That’s a good question, and we have nothing to go on to find out, either,” B’Elanna stated in a bit of frustration. 

Tom snapped his fingers, “We could do a DNA scan of my room…”

“Tom, that will only tell us who’s been here, not when, and since a good portion of the crew has been here at one time or anther?” 

“True, but you can narrow it down to within a week or two, via the residue breakdown…right? I mean, if there is someone listed that has not been here to ‘my’ knowledge…?” 

She sighed, “It’s worth a shot. I’ll go to engineering to gather the equipment. 

Tom gave her a cocky smile, “And I’ll head to the mess hall to get some lunch and the latest gossip,” he teased. 

B’Elanna snorted, “Sure. Oh, don’t be too surprised;” she said a bit more seriously, “There is a rumor about you and Brian circulating, though Tuvok has done his best to squash it. Thought I’d warn you.” 

Tom’s brow arched like aforementioned Vulcan, “Rumor about me and Brian?” 

“Yeah, seems like the hatemongers have turned their sights on you two. Apparently Brian has dumped you for another that’s why you’ve really been in a snit lately, and I’m so caught up into my engines to have noticed that you’ve been using me…typical bull shit. Thankfully most of the crew is ignoring it…but?”

“With Chakotay’s outing, it hasn’t gone away as fast either…” he took a bracing breath, “I understand. Guess, I’ll go and grab a tray and meet you back here?”

“Make it two, they’ll think we’re eating in for a reason,” she gleamed at him. 

Tom leaned over and kissed her cheek, “Thanks,” and headed out, B’Elanna behind him, but heading the other direction. 

Tom entered the turbo lift only to be joined moments later by Harry. The two men stood in silence, but Tom could tell, something was seriously wrong with Harry; he looked pale and was sweating. “Are you okay?” he asked, willing to put aside his feeling for the moment for the young man. 

Harry suddenly turned to face him, “Look…I can’t go into it, but…stay away from the mess hall tomorrow. In fact, if you can, have Neelix quarantine the place,” he stated, then as the doors opened at the next stop he moved off so fast that Tom was left with his head spinning before he could respond. 

“What the hell? Computer change direction back to last destination,” Tom ordered, then exited out on what should have been Harry’s heels, but the young man was gone. “Computer, location of Harry Kim?”

Tom stood there for a moment thinking. //He warned me…but why and from what?// His gut was clenching, for it had to be bad for Harry to look like that…? He decided to skip lunch and go meet up with B’Elanna. For if it was what he was suddenly starting to think…they would have to seriously consider going to the Captain, that alone was a major risk, not only for Harry, but for themselves. 

********

“Are you sure?” 

“Ken, Harry said that there were people on board that wouldn’t like the way I was talking and that he’d kept them away because we were friends…yeah I’m sure. They…who ever they are, are planning to set me up, and most likely with Brain since he’s the one the rumors have tagged on to me,” Tom stated seriously, looking at his friends, as they sat in his quarters pondering their latest problem. 

“Hey, what did I do?” Brain asked, puzzled why he had been singled out along with Tom. “I’ve kept a low profile?” 

“Hate doesn’t need a reason,” Tom replied gently. 

“I can easily come up with a way to close the mess hall,” Neelix chimed in. “though I don’t know why Harry would want it closed, unless whatever they have planned doesn’t just concern you…?” 

“Probably, but what?” B’Elanna interjected. 

“Unfortunately there is only one way to find out,” Tom said in a quiet voice. 

“But that could be dangerous,” Ken interjected. “Especially since we don’t have a clue as to what they’re planning.” 

“I know but what choice do we have? If we do nothing, one, they’ll know we were tipped off and two, they will only do something else, and we’ll be totally off guard,” Tom replied. 

“I don’t like it,” Sam added. 

“It’s either we handle it ourselves or go to the Captain?” Tom suggested. 

“Fine, but some of ‘us’ should be close by to lend a hand, just in case,” Ken stated, and then looked at Brian, “You’re going to have to set a firm alibi tonight, just in case.”

“With who? If I stay the night with anyone they’ll think I’m involved…?” 

“Hey, didn’t Sue offer to go out with you?” Ken asked. 

“I wouldn’t go out with the likes of her,” Brain retorted. 

“Don’t let Jenny or Megan catch you saying that,” Sam teased. 

“I know that they believe in Sue, but I’m telling you, she’s one of them…” 

“Even better,” B’Elanna snips. “What better alibi than being seen in the company of one of the enemy?” 

“Hey…guys, enough of the ‘us vs. them’ routine,” Tom ordered. 

“You can’t deny there is a ‘us vs. them’ going on, can you?” Brian challenged. 

Tom looked at his friends, then shook his head no, “I wish I could, but no; it’s real. But still, tomorrow is our concern. Neelix, you and Sam check out the mess hall tonight. Brain…go out with Sue…tonight, B’Elanna and Ken will keep an eye on you; see if you can find out anything…it may help, okay?” 

“Alright,” Brian conceded. 

“Good. We’ll take this one step at a time,” Tom stated evenly. Once this mess was taken care of, he and B’Elanna would then be able to concentrate on the mystery of the data pad…this held priority. “Brian, use Sam as a contact to get word to us, if you can’t find a natural way to talk to B’Elanna later tonight. I’ll stay away from the mess hall till later that after noon…unless I get called there. Then I’ll verify it with you, Neelix, okay?” 

“Yes. I just hope…”

“We all hope, Neelix,” Sam stated, reflecting the Talaxion’s desire that this is not going to be as bad as it was beginning to feel. “We all hope.” 

“Okay, It’s all set, let’s move out people,” Tom stated, looking pleased with things, though anyone who knew him, saw it was an act; one that many officers learned to portray in the heat of battle…and to them, this was a fight and the gauntlet tossed down before them once again. 

*******

“Chell,” Jennings said as he called out to his friend, and caught up with him in the hall, then pulled him aside. “It seems that a few of our members may have gone soft on us.”

“Thought so. Hogan and Kim, right?”

“Yes. Mr. Kim may not know it, but he’s going to be joining the others tomorrow, whether he likes it or not,” Jennings grinned wickedly. 

“How did you manage that?” 

“Sue pulled a lot of strings, and has arranged for a small early luncheon in Megan and Jenny’s honor…in observation lounge twelve, with the Captain’s blessings. Everyone will be there, and Harry will be escorting Sue, he won’t think she’d be attending our little surprise…”

“Especially since you’ve changed the location,” Chell snickered. “And when Sue slips out…?” 

“Right, she’ll trigger the device and…boom,” Jennings chuckled. “With it being not so centralized there will be less damage to the ship or anyone else. It’s a private party…though Harry won’t know about it all till last minute and if he doesn’t cooperate…”

“We’ll take care of him. But what of Hogan?” 

“That’s where you come in, Hogan knows of the changes. We can’t take any chances so; here is what I want you to do…” 

********** 

He hated his job and more so, especially over the last seven days, he hated being here on Voyager. No matter what anyone said, he had held Captain Chakotay in high regard; so much so, that when he offered to use his codes in order to cover their illegal ships communication; for regs against gays or not, laws for hate crimes still existed too, and communications were monitored for such things, listening for key words, so they needed to find another way, and if caught, he was sure Chakotay would still come out of it all pristine white as he always believed him to be. 

However that was not what happened. His Captain, his…hero, had been uncovered to be among those he was trying to get rid of and this had thrown him through a mental loop. He had spent nights questioning how a good man such as Chakotay could possibly be gay? It went against everything he had been taught about the gay populous, especially gay men. 

Chakotay was a man’s man; no one could question that, regardless of the new information of his sexual orientation. He was strong, a capable leader that had always proven himself to be fair and caring of his crew…Maquis and fleet. Bottom line, Chakotay was a good man and the more Hogan thought on this, the more he started to question all he had thought about gay people and his life in general…thus his reason for hating everything as of late. He found he could not face things nearly as well as before, knowing that Chakotay was gone because of ‘his’ actions, no matter how indirect. He knew that Chakotay had been sent to sickbay, he could only imagine they had found the code and checked to see if he was involved…thus their discovery and his forced departure. 

//Why didn’t he stay and fight?// he mused for a hundredth time of the last week, as he finally reached his quarters. //Simple, that would have hurt the crew even more…he always thought of them first…no mater what.// he concluded. 

He stood outside his door, mentally on the border of a decision; to go to the Captain and confess before it was too late and face charges or stay silent? //What would Chakotay do?// he asked himself, but he knew the answer to that one. //He’d never had gotten involved in this in the first place; but regardless he wouldn’t stand by and let people die…ever.// his mind made up, Hogan turned away from his door and headed to the turbolift. 

He entered the lift and called for the bridge…it was time to face the music. However, as the lift moved up ward, he suddenly felt a tingling sensation…he was caught up in a transporter beam. The last thing he saw was the lift doors vanishing and then blackness…then nothing at all. 

****End of Part Thirteen****

Tom stumbled out of bed, exhausted, for sleep still evaded him, but he did manage to finally find it. He made his way into the shower, noticing the time, //Thank goodness I have the day off,// he thought for it was 10:00, he had slept way passed when his normal duty shift would have started. 

He allowed himself to relax in the shower, trying to pull it together, for he knew, wherever Chakotay was, he would want him too. //He’ll find you,// he told himself; for this was his latest mantra , to stay whole. //He knows what its like here, and he knows I care deeply for him…he…he’ll find me,// he thought once more with conviction. It was enough to stir him into action, as he exited the bathroom, and got dressed to face this…day, head on. 

Dressed and dry, except his hair, he walked out of his bedroom, preparing to contact Neelix to see about getting a meal, only to find it already on the table. “Glad someone’s one their toes,” he chuckled, thought truly tickled pink that someone had thought about him. He walked to the table and lifted the cover of the tray and found his favorite breakfast; Belgian Waffles with fresh strawberries and whip cream. “I owe you one Bel,” he sighed, touched by the sentiment. He sat down and dug it, enjoying every bit. 

**********

“Enter” 

“Hey, Harry,” Sue smiled warmly. 

“Sue.” Harry said evenly as he finished putting on his uniform jacket. “What can I do for you?”

“I’d like you to be my escort,” she asked warmly, moving up next to Harry, gently caressing his arm. 

“You need me to hold your had to walk you to your duty station?” he asked surprised by this request. 

“No, you silly. Look, with everything’s that’s going to happen today, I wanted a way to keep some of my friends that…well you know…”

“Aren’t in over their heads, yeah I know,” Harry snipped. 

“Harry please. Anyway, I’ve gotten permission to hold a small luncheon in observation lounge 12, and I’d like you to come with me.” 

Harry thought about this amount; for he already planned that when he got to work he’d confess, for he knew his com was being tapped. He had wanted to wake earlier, but his alarm didn’t go off, and now here was Sue…to keep an eye on him. But time was running out, if he didn’t get word to the Captain or Tuvok soon, people were going to get hurt, and he couldn’t live with that…this much he knew. “Okay, I’ll meet you there,” Harry replied, a bit more enthusiastic about the idea. “What time is it?” 

“It starts in five minutes, and I know, I know, you can’t stay long, you have shift,” she replied knowing Harry’s objections a head of time. 

//I can still do this. The party starts at 11:30, I get to shift by noon…yes…I can do this.// Harry thought for it was not scheduled to occur till 13:30. “Fine. As I said, I’ll meet you there…”

“Come on, Harry, come with me,” Sue insisted. 

“Alright, alright,” Harry caved and exited with her, heading to the luncheon with her. 

*********

Tom was sitting in his quarters, a full stomach, going over everything the others had gathered about their so called problem with the mess hall…which was very little. B’Elanna had take the time last night to run the DNA tracer and found nothing out of the ordinary either, so whether Tom’s personal curiosity about the data pan, and Harry’s so called warning being tied, when flat; but it was something to keep him mind occupied. 

“Enter,” he called out at the sound of the chime. Jenny and Megan Delaney entered, and they were dressed to kill, “Hey flyboy,” Jenny teased warmly. “We figured you probably either didn’t get our invite or would try to ditch on us.”

Tom looked at her puzzled. “What invite?”

“See, told you he wouldn’t try and ditch out on our birthday celebration?” 

“Hey, your birthday isn’t for another week,” Tom replied in defense as he got to his feet. 

“Score one for the male populace,” Jenny chuckled, “He remembered.” 

“Yes, it is in a week, but because Tuvok is…” she hesitated but then continued anyway, “Ah, doing the duty roster, we were not able to get the day off,” she finished, looking a bit concerned, for she knew this would make Tom think of Chakotay; he always kept things like birthdays and other special events to the crew in mind when making up the roster. 

Tom saw their concern and tossed out his flyboy smile, “It’s okay, Ladies. “So, what invitation?” 

“Oh, Sue is throwing us a special luncheon in the observation lounge, and yes,” Megan added before Tom could say anything more, “The Captain approved it.”

“Hey, I wasn’t going to question the party, only that, I bet the Captain doesn’t know the state of that observation lounge will be after one of Sue’s and your guy’s parties,” he teased back. 

The girls laughed. “Well, go get changed, we’ll wait,” Jenny ordered politely. 

“Yes, Ma’am,” Tom nodded and moved out to get changed into more fitting attire for a party. 

************

“Nice,” Harry commented on, as he saw the spread that was laid out on a table that had been brought in to the lounge, full of food, and a cake. 

“Help me finalize some of the preparations,” Sue asked easily, and guided the young man to a stack of balloons that needed to be blown up. 

“Oh, now I see why you wanted me here,” Harry nodded, with understanding. “Think I’m full of hot air do you?”

Sue laughed, “Only in part,” she teased, and got to work setting up the rest of the decorations as people started to arrive. 

Harry had blown up over a dozen balloons and was tapping them to the far wall, up in the far corner of the room, when he noticed something…the guests. As he looked around he saw people he ‘knew’ was supposed to be lured to the mess hall this afternoon, and if they were here to eat…? He snapped his com badge, “Harry to the Captain.” 

“I’m sorry, Harry, but she can’t hear you,” Sue said from right behind him, leaning on him as if a girl in heat. “We deactivated your com badge,” she finished as she struck fast and injected him with a hypo. Then her voice turned to ice, “Don’t worry, Harry, you won’t be going to hell alone,” she growled softly, and helped him sit on the sofa, and faced his pliable body to make it look like he had one too many, and was dazing out the port view. “Pity,” she said, then tapped his face, to make sure he was out of it, and then left to greet the guests of honor. 

“Jenny, Megan!” she cried out in glee, her face alive with warmth, nothing to what it had been moments ago, as she walked up to them and hugged them for all it was worth. “Pre-happy birthday!”

“Oh, Sue, it’s…wonderful!” both twins declared. 

“I must say, Sue, you have really out done yourself,” Tom added, seeing how lovely and festive the lounge was looking. 

“Thank you, Tom. Please, mingle, grab a drink, we’re just expecting a few more people and then…we can begin,” she smiled excitedly. She watched them move farther in the room and moved to the far end of the table, and took out a pad, and checked off their names. //Two more to go,// she mused and then moved farther in the corner and quietly asked for their locations…they were on their way; it was nearly time. 

She stood in the corner, watching as all those she had learned to despise since child hood, along with those like her traitors ex-husband that had only used her to get into Starfleet, mingle, laugh, enjoy what she knew was going to be their last moment in this world. She didn’t even fret when she saw Tom moving over to Harry, for he knew Tom would first think Harry drunk, and before he could figure anything else…it would be too late, for the others had just arrived. She punched a few keys on her pad, placed it in her pocket and turned on the smile, “Okay, everyone’s here let’s get this party started!” she shouted. 

The first thing on the list was the birthday cake, a good distraction. “She lit the candles, “Computer, lights,” she called out, and started singing, as did everyone else…but Tom. She could see he was noticing that Harry was not drunk and would go for his com badge, only to fine it didn’t work in here. She started to move to the door weaving her way in and out among the well wishing scum; she only had to make it to the otherside of the door and lock it…then it would be done. 

She was a foot away when she heard Tom’s voice call out on the top of his lungs for a medical emergency beam out; thus getting everyone’s attention while at the same time Megan and Jenny were moving in to blow out their candles. She then was at the door…

*GASP!* 

“Going somewhere…Ensign?” 

“NO!” she shouted in anger and disgust, for it was clear…her plans were at and end. 

“Commander?!” People started shouting in puzzled excitement and joy; for standing in the middle of the doorway was Chakotay, and he had several armed guards with him. 

“Your not suppose to be here!” Sue cried out in anger, fear and frustration and went to hit him, but her wrists were easily held off by him. 

“Take her to the brig,” he ordered, his disdain for her could be felt in his voice. 

“Chakotay!” 

It was Tom’s voice, and Chakotay turned to see his love staring at him in stunned surprise…but then noticed Harry. “Computer, lock onto Ensign Kim’s signal and beam him to sickbay,” he ordered, then moved in farther, seeing all the stunned faces staring at him; but the only one he noticed was Tom’s. He gave Tom a small smile, though his eyes expressed sorrow. “I’m sorry to say, this party is canceled,” he then stated, knowing that he had job to do. 

“Commander, when did you get back?” Megan asked in puzzled wonderment. 

“Why are you arresting Sue?” Jenny asked on top of Megan’s question. 

“Do you know what’s wrong with Harry?” Tom asked along with the others. 

Chakotay held up his hands, “Listen,” he called out, and waited for calmness to over take the room. “I know there is a lot of confusion at the moment and if you’ll all just be patient, the Captain will explain ‘everything’…later. Right now, I need you all to go back to either your stations or your quarters…thank you.” 

Though all still stunned to see Chakotay, not only back on the ship, but in uniform, they complied with his request…all but Tom, who just stood there staring at him. 

Chakotay waited till the door closed, leaving only him and Tom in the room, and he turned to face the younger man, knowing he had his work cut out before him, if he was ever going to make this right. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Tom,” he said softly, taking a step toward him. 

“Don’t,” Tom snapped, holding his hand out, gesturing him to not come close. His mind was slowly putting some of the pieces together and he didn’t like what he was seeing. “You never left…did you?” 

Chakotay sighed and lowered his head, “No, I never left the ship. It was set up to make it appear that way…”

“Why? Why….” Tom was beside himself. Here he was going nuts, worried sick, getting tossed in the brig…all for a man that hadn’t even gone away! 

“Tom, please. I want to tell you…everything, but you have to listen to me. I didn’t have a lot of time before all this went down. It was a last minute plan and we needed to take advantage of the situation before us. Believe me, I wanted to tell you…give you some word…anything…but how could I? If it was going to be believable, then we had to act fast and everyone had to believe I was gone…”

“Why?” Tom asked again, this time more pain in his eyes than anger. 

Chakotay looked around, for he didn’t want to have this conversation here, but he could see that this was where it was going to take place. He sighed his acceptance of the location, “One word…Jonas.” 

“What?” 

“Tom, the Captain and Tuvok believed they had another spy on board…well frankly they thought I was the spy, some alien plant…”

“You…a spy?” Tom snorted, but no amusement was seen in his eyes. “That’s why you were sent to sickbay…some…DNA check up?”

“Yes, and that’s where…”

“They found out about you…I figured that part out myself, but…?” he waved his arms outward, “all this?” 

Chakotay moved to the sofa and took a seat, he knew Tom would only when he felt like it. “If everyone thought I was gone, one, those behind the transmissions would need to change their methods, and two, it left me free to move around…like a ghost and track their movements. We had to find all of them…”

“You mean we have more than one spy…” Tom asked in disbelief. 

Chakotay shook his head no. “At first we thought it was a spy, but I soon found out it was an inside ring…a hate ring, Tom. These are the same people that set up Gerron and Allan. They were also the ones behind a lot of other not so pleasant activates, that will come out in their court-martials, not the least of which is attempt of murder…”

“Murder?” 

“Tom, you might want to sit down now,” he suggested, seeing Tom looking pale. Thankfully, the young man did so, and near him. “Tom, this was no party, it was a lure to the slaughter…”

“My word…and Sue…”

“Was about to exit and seal the doors, triggering the explosion,” Chakotay clarified for him. 

Tom looked nauseous; “Ah…” he started looking around the room. 

“It’s okay, Tom. We took care of the explosive devices late last night, and this room has been under my surveillance…it’s safe. 

Tom slid back to the sofa, either not noticing Chakotay’s hand rubbing his shoulder or not caring. “I can’t believe that…that Harry…?”

“Then don’t. He tried to make contact to the Captain and Tuvok several times, but they were blocking him in every direction. Even going so far as to threatening a few others close to Harry, to force his silence. That’s why he was here…to die too.”

“But he warned me about the mess hall?”

“He didn’t know of the change of plans.” 

Tom looked at Chakotay, his eyes narrowed, “How did you know…about all this?”

“I told you, I’ve been here, watching…observing, and last night, I kidnapped Hogan, hoping to get him to confess, since I saw him as a weak link. Thankfully he was already on his way to confess; which was a good thing for had he gone back to his quarters, he would have been a dead man. As it is, we have over ten people in custody…I had to make sure I got them all, Tom. I’m sorry…I didn’t want to hurt you…too much was at stake…”

“Of course, Commander,” Tom snipped, leaping to his feat. “It’s not that ‘I’ can’t understand the safety of Voyager…I mean, It’s not like ‘I’ went undercover and risked ‘my’ life or anything…”

“Tom, please, I was under orders…”

“Yeah, I know that routine well,” Tom replied, a sour taste in his mouth. “I also recall you weren’t too happy about it either.” 

“Please, Tom…hear me out. There are reasons…”

“I know all bout duty, Chakotay,” Tom replied a bit more firmly, though his eyes looked hardened as he placed his hand behind his back and stood firm. 

Chakotay stood up, his eyes locking with Tom’s, “It was more than duty, it was about the future…”

“Future?”

“Yes, future…our future. Tom, you have to understand a few things. First,, when we where in sickbay, the Captain and I discovered we still had a lot of trust issues to iron out as well as what we both thought was a potential threat to Voyager. I wanted…needed to prove myself, as did she. So, we made a bargain…”

“What sort of bargain?” 

Chakotay pulled a pad from his pocket, “Does this look familiar?” he asked, knowing that if Tom thought about it, it would. 

“You…you hid that…why?” 

“I needed a safe place to hide it, and as it was, you were still above suspicion from Janeway. Yes, we were making a pack, but I still wasn’t taking any chances…I had to take a few precautious,” he said as he tapped a few buttons and handed it over to Tom. “I had to do it her way in order for this to be valid. Tom, as much as I am sorry for hurting you…I hope you can see why I felt this was worth it.” 

Tom took the pad and read it, his eyes taking in every word, and they grew wider and wider. He then finally looked up, his face in awe and shock, “there was no charges…the regulations…”

“Fully suspended, Tom. No one, I repeat, no one can be charged or arrested or kicked off the ship for being gay or bisexual; the Captain’s lifted the band…permanently. She’s also made note, as you can see that she takes full responsibility for having any individual that Starfleet may object too, once we get home. “

“You mean…we don’t have to hide…?”

“No, baby, we don’t have to hide,” Chakotay soothed as he closed the distance and caressed Tom’s face. “Oh, and one more thing, for the record, Tom Paris…”

“What?”

“I do love you.” 

Their eyes met as the truth was exchanged, and then the moment was sealed with the most loving, tender kiss, both men could give the other; their arms wrapping tightly, enveloping their other safely within their arms. 

“Stars, Chakotay, I missed you…so…so much,” Tom said between kiss

“I know, baby. I missed you too. You don’t know how badly I wanted to screw the orders, but…I had to remember,” he said, leaning back, so he could see Tom’s eyes, “I wanted a future with you, Tom. One that didn’t entail sneaking about or pretending to have girlfriends…any of that stuff. And when you took that shuttle…” he sighed heavily, and then hugged Tom tightly. “I am so…so sorry,” he whispered. 

Tom hugged him back equally with love, “It’s not your fault I went a bit nuts,” Tom laughed, so glad to have his love back in his arms where he belonged. 

“No, but it is my fault you spent four days in the brig…”

“What?” Tom snapped back and looked at Chakotay in irate fury. 

“Tom, I had a job to do. How was I suppose to do it, if I had to worry you were going to go AWOL, the next available chance you got? I wanted to tell you but…”

“Oh…the Captain…” Tom said slowly, as if everything was dawning on him. “Does that mean she…”

“Knows…yes. Tom, a lot of things have happened this week, one of which was a healing of the rift of trust between Kathryn and me. But it was still fragile…”

“But you believe you can trust her now?” 

“Yes; besides, what choice do I have? I can’t live my life paranoid or in the shadows anymore.” 

Tom caressed Chakotay’s face, letting his fingers drink in every inch of his skin, “I can understand that. So, what now?” 

“Now, we inform the crew of what’s been happening and the changes that are going to be made in the regulations. Then there will be a hearing, Hogan and Harry will be tried separately, for they did make attempts to stop this. Afterwards, depending on the severity of the charges they are found guilty of, they most likely will be placed off the ship…unless…”

“Unless?”

“The crew is willing to tolerate them while they receive treatment?” 

“I can’t speak for everyone, Chakotay, but tolerance has been something lacking around here; it’s about time we started putting it in practice…yes?” 

“Yes,” Chakotay smiled. 

“Janeway to Chakotay. Everything okay, Commander?”

Chakotay tapped his badge, “Everything’s fine, Captain…just fine,” he smiled lovingly at Tom. 

“Then get yourself up here, Commander, we have a ship wide announcement to make,” she replied, a bit enthusiastic. “Though I don’t relish all of it…but, let me be the first to say, welcome back,” she greeted. 

“Thank you, Captain.”

“Oh, and tell, Mr. Paris, his rations have been restored, since I know he’ll need it to make that romantic dinner I know he has planned to welcome you home.” 

“I will,” Chakotay chuckled, overjoyed to hear the Captain acknowledge them so openly like this. “I’ll be there soon, Chakotay out. 

Tom was also laughing, “I can’t believe this is happening…” he bubbled with joy. 

“It’s happening, love. Now, while I have some work to do, why don’t you go to my quarters, I’ve added your bio-signature to let you in, and get that dinner ready,” he said in a deep husky voice. 

Tom gave him an impish look, “Why yours and not mine?” 

“For one, my bed is much larger than yours, and two, so is my quarters. And since I’ve managed to finagle the next three days off…for both of us, I thought we would want to be as comfortable as possible.” 

Tom just beamed with joy, and kissed Chakotay senseless before letting him go, but in reaction to the door opening. In seconds he was two feet from the man he loved as he turned to see Brain walk in. 

“Ah, sorry, sir. I thought I’d give you the update as well as over see the clean up,” he muttered, a bit embarrassed in catching the two lovers. “I’ll come back,” he finally said and left. 

Chakotay nodded and watched Brian exit, “It’s not going to be easy is it?”

“No…I guess it won’t. But in time…” Tom shrugged, a bit angry at his own reactions. 

“Years of fear, anger, misunderstandings, and lack of tolerance, isn’t going to go away overnight, Tom; only the fact that we won’t be charged or tossed off the ship,” Chakotay stated, as he moved in behind Tom and wrapped his arms around him. “It’s not going to be easy…regardless of the Captain’s backing. “If you’re not up to it, Tom…?”

Tom turned to face Chakotay, his face set, “Chakotay, I’d follow you into to a nova, I’m sure as hell not going to let a bunch of…idiot thinking keep me from you.” 

“Glad to hear it, Baby,” Chakotay replied and kissed Tom once more. “Got to go…duty calls.”

“I’ll see you later,” Tom replied warmly, and smacked Chakotay on his sexy ass and watched him leave. Tom took one look around and gave a small shiver at how close they all came to dying because of hate. He then exited the lounge and headed to the nearest turbolift right on Chakotay’s heels. He was standing there next to him, waiting as two crewmen passed him. 

“Can you believe it…they let a fag be in the chain of command?”

“I can’t believe he had the nerve to show his face…”

“Hey!” Tom shouted after them, and waited till they turned to face him as the lift doors opened. “Watch your mouths,” he said as he slowly stepped in with Chakotay, taking his arm in his, “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about,” he warned. Then stepped back, a huge grin on his face as he did so, for it felt good to be able to say it…without fear. 

THE END


End file.
